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How to distract yourself during times of tragedy and loss.


TimTaylor751647545500
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Tuesday night, my 25 year old nephew, Ross, had a seizure and passed away in his sleep in Columbus. His older brother found him in the morning. To say we are all devastated is an understatement. My brother is a total wreck and its so hard to hear him in such pain. My parents are headed back to Ohio within the day, but I'll be leaving once I know the arrangements and speak more with my boss. I was lucky enough that my girlfriend was able to take the day off work yesterday to console me, which if she hadn't, I'm sure the day would have been even more rough than it was. Today, however, I'm here alone...1,000 miles from my friends and family and I can't get out of my head. I'm working today, but very limited. I need to find something to preoccupy my brain. I bought a puzzle last week to do during Christmas when the g/f's daughter is here, but I'm about to open it up.

 

Honestly, maybe, I think I just need to vent. To share what's going on and try to do something other than cry.

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Hang in there. I've kept myself busy with kids, family stuff, and house work since my dad died 1 month ago. But to be honest, I'm a complete zombie. Entire days pass by and I have no idea what I did. I accomplish nothing but time seems to pass by quickly. It feels like I have little ability to focus on anything unless it's urgent.

 

In the first days after his death we were focused on very specific tasks; funeral homes, notifying people, finding/paying bills, cleaning out his stuff, etc. Once that was past I've just been burnt out, exhausted, irritable at times, zoned out most of the time.

 

Just take things one day at a time and be proud of who he was, how he lived, and the good times you were able to have together.

 

Sent from my SM-G973U using Tapatalk

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Tim, very sorry to hear that as well. Try not to beat yourself up over not being in Ohio...it’s more important to share love with your family throughout the grieving process and you’ll be back in Ohio soon enough.

 

As a parent, I really can’t think about losing a child. My heartfelt love to you, your brother and family through this difficult time.

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I found it personally helpful to make sure to be especially physically active in any fashion during periods of grief.

 

Obviously only helps to a degree but a physically tired body can help cope with stronger emotions to a degree. Even if you aren't normally very active, go for a 3-4 mile walk or something regularly.

 

2020 sucks all over and I am sorry to hear of your situation.

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Sorry to hear that, Tim. With everything that has happened this year and the time of year it is I'm sure that it is and will be difficult for all affected. Try to keep your head up and if you do indeed feel like you just need to vent feel free to hit me up on FBM. I may not be able to "fix" things, but I can listen. Praying for you and yours.
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Thanks guys. Much appreciated. Headed to Ohio early Thursday morning for the funeral Friday, then back to FL on Saturday. I spent a few nice, sweaty hours yesterday working on Christmas lights outside which was a really good distraction. Pretty strange to be hanging lights in a t shirt and shorts, but it's a lot better than freezing my ass off.
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  • 3 weeks later...

I came back home with two Mastador puppies (Scarlet & Gray), so that has been keeping me pretty busy since returning home from Ross's funeral. Sadly, another life change occurred in the last week. My girlfriend ended up moving back to South Carolina to be closer to her 8 year old daughter whom she had been missing so much since moving here. Also, her attorney recommended the move in order to balance out parenting with her POS ex so as to work to gain primary custody. So now, my parents are in Ohio, gf back in SC and other than my neighbors and new dogs, I'll be spending the 2nd Christmas alone. I did get out on the bike for a nice ride yesterday right before sunset, and will likely be taking a few more rides in the coming days.

 

Can this year be over and done with already...please.

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I came back home with two Mastador puppies (Scarlet & Gray), so that has been keeping me pretty busy since returning home from Ross's funeral. Sadly, another life change occurred in the last week. My girlfriend ended up moving back to South Carolina to be closer to her 8 year old daughter whom she had been missing so much since moving here. Also, her attorney recommended the move in order to balance out parenting with her POS ex so as to work to gain primary custody. So now, my parents are in Ohio, gf back in SC and other than my neighbors and new dogs, I'll be spending the 2nd Christmas alone. I did get out on the bike for a nice ride yesterday right before sunset, and will likely be taking a few more rides in the coming days.

 

Can this year be over and done with already...please.

 

Tim, really sorry for all the life changes in one shitty year for you. <3

 

Hang in there, bud.

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  • 1 month later...

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