Movie review: Alexander

[Science Abuse]

Let it first be said that no one should attempt to pass a history exam based on this flick. Though some parts were remarkably accurate, other parts were remarkably not.

Just as the realy story of alexander the great, this is not the feel-good hit of the year. The dudes life was fucked up, and you're weird if you dont feel a little awkward wathcing some of it. The movie, as a movie, was decent, 3.5 : 5 stars.

 

The movie as a biography was a massive dissapointment. This deffinately needed to be a 2 parter. It spent most of its time chronicling his decline and almost NO time chronicling his rise. Gaugamaela was the money shot, the last push to officialy seize Persia, but it damn sure wasn't his most impressive victory. How Alexander became "Alexander the Great" happened between Macedoni and Babylon. It sure as hell wasn't in india or caucasus.

-His first battle along side his father at Chaeronea

-Crossing the Granicus in uphill battle and winning

-The battle of Issus where he first met Darius face to face in battle. Darius ran away then, too.

-The seige of Tyre, I'm actualy kinda pissed they left this out bcause it was just cool. I wanted to expencive ass CGI to show what went down, but oliver stone is a bitch.

-The conquering of Egypt, naming him Pharaoh, the founding of Alexandria. They did show the famous lighthouse and the library from where hopkins was narrating from.

 

This movie would have been a great 2 part series. Part one his rise to greatness by conquest, part 2 his fall from greatness by indulgence and paranoia.

 

Other "creative liberties" include;

-Roxanne never left caucassus, there was no mariage, no offspring. He didnt marry her because she didn't want to. He was still a good dude then.

-Philotus and his dad were killed for secretly taking credit for Alexanders victories, not an assasination attempt.

-Alexander took an arrow tot he chest when, during a seige, single handedly climbed the walls of the city and began fighting everyone, alone. This was a damn good look into how he fought and who he ws, why they changed it, I dont know.

 

There were other things, but I'm sick of writing.

Maybe I know too much to enjoy these movies, so dont listen to my opinion, go watch the movie and form your own opinions. I have a feeling the christian right is going to be throwing a fit over this one.

 

[ 25. November 2004, 02:11 PM: Message edited by: Regenmeister ]

[Razorback]

I've heard and read MANY bad reviews of the movie -- many more bad than good, so I'll probably wait until it comes out for rent.

[Science Abuse]

Originally posted by Razorback:

I've heard and read MANY bad reviews of the movie -- many more bad than good, so I'll probably wait until it comes out for rent.

dollar theater graemlins/thumb.gif

bigscreen effect, cheaper then a rental.

[AngryBMW]

I thought it sucked. We walked out an hour into it. Eric, did anything happen after he got married?

-Marc

[Science Abuse]

Originally posted by MadMalibu:

I thought it sucked. We walked out an hour into it. Eric, did anything happen after he got married?

-Marc

Same thing that happens to most guys, he went a bit nuts. graemlins/thumb.gif

[AngryBMW]

Originally posted by Regenmeister:

Same thing that happens to most guys, he went a bit nuts. graemlins/thumb.gif

And a bit gay...did you notice that? It was freaking me out....

-Marc

[Science Abuse]

Originally posted by MadMalibu:

And a bit gay...did you notice that? It was freaking me out....

-Marc

nah he was always like that. His relationship with hephaestion ws well documented as being ...ehhh, ambiguous, but no one ever saw'm do the nasty. They were more like comrades, bests freinds, realy realy realy close brothers. tongue.gif Then there were the he'bitches. That stuff was kind of accepted back then, though looked down apon just like any other carnal pleasure, but more so then most.

If you want the best version of his story, just as with the Trojan War or the stories of King Arthur, it's best to pick up a book. graemlins/thumb.gif

I also recomend the History Channel.

[Guest Crankshaft]

Originally posted by Regenmeister:

nah he was always like that. His relationship with hephaestion ws well documented as being ...ehhh, ambiguous, but no one ever saw'm do the nasty. They were more like comrades, bests freinds, realy realy realy close brothers. tongue.gif Then there were the he'bitches. That stuff was kind of accepted back then, though looked down apon just like any other carnal pleasure, but more so then most.

If you want the best version of his story, just as with the Trojan War or the stories of King Arthur, it's best to pick up a book. graemlins/thumb.gif

I also recomend the History Channel.

<font color ="midnightblue"> They (the history channel) did a good documentary about him before the movie came out. Discovery channel also had one, but not so good.

 

I haven't seen the movie yet, but so far am dissapointed by what I've heard. This was a great opportunity to make a great movie, and they should've gotten Jackson or Speilburg to do it instead. *shrug*

 

As far as the gay thing goes, it was encouraged to build commradery among the troops. I am the Christian right, Eric, and a movie is a movie. I know the history, I'm not offended. My .02

[Science Abuse]

Originally posted by The Silent God:

I am the Christian right, Eric,

REALY!? Do you know THE MAN!? I hate how he's always trying to keep me down.

 

I remember back when disnet came out with it Herculese movie, alot of people bitched a fit because in reality he went mad and killed his family. Thus it was not fit for child veiwing.

 

But my opinion remains the same, they left out almost everyhting that made Alexander the Great great. The story was one of the best in history, it didn't need any "creative liscense" taken to make it paletable to the public.

[Guest Crankshaft]

Originally posted by Regenmeister:

REALY!? Do you know THE MAN!? I hate how he's always trying to keep me down.

 

I remember back when disnet came out with it Herculese movie, alot of people bitched a fit because in reality he went mad and killed his family. Thus it was not fit for child veiwing.

 

But my opinion remains the same, they left out almost everyhting that made Alexander the Great great. The story was one of the best in history, it didn't need any "creative liscense" taken to make it paletable to the public.

<font color ="midnightblue"> I agree. Saw it last night, quite a bit was innacurate. It was a good movie though; inspiring, in a way. Not the movie, but Alexander.

 

They portrayed the homosexual aspect very well. It wasn't overt (IMO), but you definitley got the sense something deeper was in effect. If you haven't seen it yet, I would recommend seeing it on the big screen, even if you never see it again. 7/10

[villision1647545496]

IN that time era, they beleived that women are for bredding and men are for pleasure.

[Science Abuse]

Originally posted by VMS RX7:

IN that time era, they beleived that women are for bredding and men are for pleasure.

Not quite true. It's possible that some one some where thought that, but it wasn't a generaly accepted practice, just like all other flesh based gratifications.

Keep in mind, Alexander nd a few of his men studied under Aristotle, who was a student of Plato, who ws a student of Socrates. Socrates along with others in his time were the fathers of mathmatics. One of there most influential works was passed down from teacher to student for generations, and it is this:

http://www.sleekness.co.uk/uploads/proof.jpg

[Veritas]

Originally posted by Regenmeister:

Keep in mind, Alexander nd a few of his men studied under Aristotle, who was a student of Plato, who ws a student of Socrates. Socrates along with others in his time were the fathers of mathmatics. One of there most influential works was passed down from teacher to student for generations, and it is this:

http://www.sleekness.co.uk/uploads/proof.jpg

OWNED!!!

[CobraKevin]

Saw it last night. Not gonna post a full review since it's unfortunately not worth my time to do so.

 

Movie itself was okay. The battles, while scarce, were nicely done and a 90% nude Rosario Dawson is a great thing.

 

But while I'm not a homophobe, that was literally the gayest movie I've seen since Birdcage. I just read in my Entertainment Weekly that Alexander was a bisexual, but goddamn. They portrayed more of his sensual side than they did his conquering side, which IMO defeats the whole purpose of an epic war tale. Besides, the sly homosexual vibe between Alexander and Hephaistion was one thing, but that fucking servant numbnuts in Babylon creeped me the fuck out. :barf:

[Science Abuse]

Originally posted by B1ackout:

I just read in my Entertainment Weekly that Alexander was a bisexual...

Hmm, and here I been getting my info from Callisthenes (footnote 1) and Quintus Curtius Rufus like a sucker. tongue.gif

Truth is aa definitive account of his sexuality was never taken down, but needless to say assuptions hve been made based on some....ehh, trends of his.

 

Callisthenes is another important character left out of the movie. He was Alexanders personal historian, his sole purpose to write down the kings exploits. Alexander put him to death in east asia for critisizing the way he had people bow to him, reverence reserved only for the gods. Basicaly the stuff the movie had you beleive Cleitus was killed for. What got Cleitus killed wasn't neccesarily his words, but the fact that he and Alexander were both bombed out of their skulls and decided to scrap. Sober, it wouldn't have happened.