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Letter to a husband


Buck531

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Dear Husband:

 

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.

I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for

it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that

you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.

 

Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair

and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new

negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep

after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't

touch me or anything. Either you're cheating, or you don't love me anymore,

whatever the case is, I'm gone.

 

Your EX-Wife

 

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are

moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Dear Ex-Wife

 

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true

that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a

far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out

your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work.

 

I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first

thing that came to mind was, "You look just like a man!" My mother raised

me not to say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my

favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I

stopped eating pork seven years ago.

 

I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the

price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my

brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your

negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we

could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten

million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But

when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I

hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your

letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

 

Signed Rich As Hell and Free!

 

P.S.? I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was

born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

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