Jump to content

Joke


CbrGirl

Recommended Posts

Mother's milk:

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term

exam. The last question was,'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk,'

worth

70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put to

think

of seven advantages. He wrote:

1.) It is perfect formula for the child.

2.) It provides immunity against several diseases.

3.) It is always the right temperature.

4.) It is inexpensive.

5.) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.

6.) It is always available as needed.

And then, the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell indicating the end of the test rang, he wrote:

7.) It comes in really cute containers.

He got an A.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Another one:

ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659 ---CASE OF THE

PREGNANT LADY

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed

the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately

moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a

grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more

amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out

laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man

arrested.

The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about

20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man

replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like this, when the

lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her

condition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The

Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned. Then she

moved and sat under a sign that said,' Logan's

Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to

smile.. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign

that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,'

and I could hardly contain myself. But, Your Honor, when

she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said,

'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this accident'... I just lost it.'

'CASE DISMISSED!!'

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One more:

A young boy went up to his father and asked him,

'Dad, what is the difference between 'Potentially' and

'Realistically'?'

The father thought for a moment, then answered,

'Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million

dollars .

Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million

dollars,

and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million

dollars.

Come back and tell me what you learn from that.'

So the boy went to his mother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad

Pitt for a million dollars ?'

The mother replied, 'Of course, I would! We could really use that

money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university!'

The boy then went to his sister and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad

Pitt for a million dollars?'

The girl replied, 'Oh good heavens! I LOVE Brad Pitt and I would

sleep with him in a heartbeat. Are you nuts?'

The boy then went to his brother and asked, 'Would you sleep with

Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'

'Of course,' the brother replied. 'Do you know how much a

million

bucks would buy?'

The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his

dad.

His father asked him, 'Did you find out the difference between

'potentially' and 'realistically'?'

The boy replied: 'Yes. 'Potentially,' you and I are sitting

on three

million dollars,

but 'realistically,' we're living with two hookers and a

homo.''

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...