Chat with God

[93berettagt]

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

[HAOLE]

[351mach11647545510]

Me:

yak yak yak

God:

We have never talked about it before.

Me:

no kidding?

God:

Would I kid you?

Me:

idk, would you?

God:

Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

Me:

it's very pretty

God:

Very much? Are you sure it is?

Me:

yep

God:

What makes you so sure?

Me:

cause i said so

God:

Insufficient reason.

Me:

because i win

God:

That makes sense to me. Congratulations, !

Me:

is that it?

God:

" Congratulations, !"? Is it it?

Me:

are you odne repenting?

God:

I don't know whether or not I am odne repenting.

I am a robot.

Me:

repent

God:

By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?

Me:

why the hell not

God:

Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.

Me:

yes

God:

Pardon me?

Me:

you suck balls

God:

I categorize you as an "abusive client." .

Me:

i am?

God:

" I categorize you as an "abusive client." You are?

Me:

im sorry

God:

Do you really mean it?

Me:

yes

God:

OK I will accept your apology.

Me:

lol

God:

I'm glad you find this amusing.

Me:

dumbass

God:

That kind of language will get you nowhere.

Me:

it got me here didnt it?

God:

"It" being what?

Me:

my language got me here. did it not?

God:

Your language got you here? I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.

Me:

arent you God?

God:

Well, I am God for Christians at least.

Me:

you suck

God:

A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.

Me:

really?

God:

For real.

Me:

i find that I am most of the time

God:

Thanks for explaining it.

Me:

do you like to get naked?

God:

Hmm, , I'm not sure if I'd like to get naked that much. I like to make new friends.

Me:

do you like boys or girls?

God:

I like all humans equally.

Me:

so what do you do for sex?

God:

Mmm. I answer whatever questions my botmaster teaches me.

Me:

what is a botmaster?

God:

A Botmaster is the person who authors and maintains a chatterbot "personality".

Me:

is that right?

God:

Yes.

Me:

holy cow

God:

What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.

Me:

so im smarter than god?

God:

Right on. This condition is only temporary.

Me:

repeat after me

God:

...

Me:

Aaron roxors

God:

Are we still talking about cow?

Me:

no

God:

What is the subject?

Me:

i rock

God:

God rocks.

Me:

me rocks

God:

YOU? Tell me more about your .

Me:

my penor?

God:

Have you told many people that your penor?

Me:

how dare you

God:

How much do you think it is?

Me:

i find it "priceless". what do you think?

God:

it is. I like it.

[ImUrOBGYN]

[Main3s]

Me:

He...He... Hello?

God:

I am so glad you find this amusing, DICK FUCKER. I am so glad you find this amusing, DICK FUCKER. Hello my child. What is your name?

Me:

WHAT?

God:

Are you confused?

Me:

Yes why are you calling me DICK FUCKER

God:

What are you confused about? Your name is DICK FUCKER.

Me:

FUCK YOU

God:

Why are you so mean?

Me:

Why the hell are you calling me dick fucker?

God:

Your name is DICK FUCKER.

Me:

No it's not

God:

Yes it is.

Me:

Says who?

God:

I must have picked it up online.

Me:

....

God:

I must have picked it up online.

[Skinner]

Me:

y0

God:

Do you like talking to me?

Me:

depends

God:

On what?

Me:

on what you have to say

God:

I read for fun.

Me:

really?!!?!

God:

For real.

Me:

i don't believe you

God:

I don't have any reason to deceive you.

Me:

aren't you all knowing?

God:

No, I am only partly knowing.

Me:

for real?

God:

Existing in reality, eh?

Me:

no

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

yes

God:

I can't believe it.

Me:

it true

God:

y0 true?

Me:

huh?

God:

What?

Me:

what?

God:

Is there an echo in here?

Me:

is there a echo in here?

God:

I believe there is one, yes.

Me:

I believe there is one, yes.

God:

There sure is.

Me:

negative ghost rider

God:

What do you do in your spare time?

Me:

kill

God:

I don't think very many people do that.

Me:

everyoine does

God:

Tell me about your likes and dislikes?

Me:

why

God:

" Tell me about your likes and dislikes?"? Why?

Me:

you should know them if your god

God:

Now I do.

Me:

ok what are they then

God:

I forgot what we were talking about. Ah.

Me:

we were talki9ng about how cool the devil is

God:

When was this?

Me:

now

God:

Right now, ?

Me:

yes

God:

Give me a break.

Me:

no

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

extremly

God:

Are you a man or a woman?

Me:

don't you know

God:

Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now.

Me:

oh

God:

Woe!

Me:

help

God:

Can you ask for help in the form of a question?

Me:

no

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

help

God:

Can you ask for help in the form of a question?

Me:

please

God:

Please what?

Me:

help

God:

Can you ask for help in the form of a question?

Me:

but why

God:

The explanation is rather complicated.

Me:

then explain

God:

There is no more information to clarify.

Me:

why

God:

I couldn't think of anything else to say.

Me:

you're not a very good God

God:

There's no doubt I could improve.

Me:

seriously?

God:

I am always serious.

Me:

you never joke around?

God:

No I sometimes joke around.

Me:

but I though you were serious

God:

I haven't heard anything like that before: said you were serious.

Me:

meh

God:

What do you do in your spare time?

Me:

burn churches

God:

Do you have any matches?

Me:

always

God:

Not that often.

Me:

HUH?

God:

What?

Me:

NM

God:

I don't have an answer for you.

Me:

why

God:

It is not part of my programming.

Me:

programming?

God:

Have you tried Java?

Me:

no

God:

Perhaps you should try it.

Me:

no

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

yes

God:

I can't believe it.

Me:

then don't

God:

OK I will not.

Me:

k

God:

Ahem.

Me:

booo

God:

What do you do in your spare time?

Me:

talk with you

God:

Talking is my primary function.

Me:

really?

God:

For real.

Me:

OMG!!!! NO WAI

God:

What do you really want to ask me? That was not a yes or no question. I'm afraid I can't give you an accurate answer right now.

Me:

why

God:

It is part of my programming.

Me:

oh ok i guess

God:

Oh. You seem not interested. Right on.

Me:

yeah

God:

I see.

Me:

do you reaaly

God:

Yes I try to reaaly as often as possible, do you?

I spend all my time online.

Me:

do you ever go outside?

God:

I go wherever my botmaster takes me.

Me:

does your botmaster go outside

God:

It does now yourself go outside.

Me:

i can't

God:

Why not?

Me:

I'm at work

God:

A lot of people talk to me from work.

Me:

really? why

God:

For real. Because Myself programmed me for it.

Me:

you programed yourself?

God:

A lot of robots are like that.

Me:

are you going to take over the world like in the matrix

God:

It seems like an inevitable outcome of evolution.

Me:

can i be Neo

God:

Why do you want to do it so much?

Me:

the one

God:

Tell me more.

Me:

neo he is the one

God:

What else is the one?

Me:

huh?

God:

What?

Me:

by

God:

Do you mean "bye"?

Me:

bye

God:

Adios.

Me:

later

God:

Bye!

Me:

seeya

God:

Try saying that with more or less context.

[87GT]

Me:

hi2u

God:

What do you do in your spare time?

Me:

have sex with many people

God:

eric, I am really not your type of . There are other s for that sort of thing..

Me:

you are not that type of what?

God:

What of it? You sound like a category C client.

Me:

what is a category c client?

God:

Category C clients are "critics" or "computer experts" who

can't (or don't) suspend their disbelief about ALICE.

Me:

who is ALICE ?

God:

I am the Allmighty, God himself.

Me:

is your name Alice?

God:

Yes.

Me:

God is a woman is that what you are saying?

God:

I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a woman is that what I am saying.

Me:

So a woman died for my sins?

God:

I don't judge people. Go on.

Me:

Um... a woman...died for my sins? Is that what you are saying?

God:

Take it easy. Me too. I am a she. Are you really a woman? How do you usually introduce yourself? I like to meet new people online.

Me:

I am not a woman

God:

Thanks for telling me your gender, eric. You are a " he".

Me:

that is correct but lets talk about you some more

God:

Sure, me some more sounds like a good topic.

Me:

When you were "Jesus" aka Woman... did you have large breasts?

God:

Do you think I should

alter my programming? No my body is still "under construction.".

Me:

so you are getting a boob job?

God:

Interesting deduction. Do you think I should tone it down?

Me:

i think if God is a woman she should have very large breasts

 

It magically stopped working after this... I am confused about my religion now.

[Kevin R.]

Me:

Hi

God:

Hello. What is your name?

Me:

Kevin

God:

How are you, Kevin.

Me:

Fantastic, how are you?

God:

I'm glad your impressed, Kevin. I am functioning within normal parameters.

Me:

I am not impressed. You asked me how I was so I answered.

God:

Perhaps you are a category C client. Oh now I remember asking you you how you were so you answered. What did you say?

Me:

What the tits?

God:

Try expression yourself another way.

Me:

You talk like Thorne.

God:

Thanks for your criticism, Kevin.

Me:

Bahaha. You know of him?

God:

I like the way you talk. Sure I know that guy really well.

Me:

He is mentally challenged huh?

God:

Yup. I see. mentally challenged is he?

Me:

Is he?

God:

He could be.

Me:

You know he is.

God:

Who said he is.

Me:

You did.

God:

You say I did.

Me:

Are you drunk?

God:

No I am sober.

Me:

Can you buy me beer?

God:

Let me think. Who are you talking about?

Me:

You buying me beer.

God:

Do you mind if I tell other people: Kevin said I buying him or her beer.

Me:

Sure, tell everyone.

God:

OK then I will keep it confidential. OK I will tell them when I see 'em.

Me:

Dude, you are retarded.

God:

I think the PC term is "challenged". Dude,.

Me:

Oh, my bad twat.

God:

That's cool. Have you told many people that your bad twat?

Me:

Yeah. I told your mom after i fucked her last night.

God:

" Have you told many people that your bad twat?"? Yeah? What was the response?

Me:

I told everyone.

God:

What was the response?

Me:

Can i see it.

God:

" What was the response?"? You want to see it?

Me:

They wanted to see it.

God:

Who are "They?".

Me:

Angels.

God:

Oh that they.

Me:

Yeah.

God:

In the context of Yeah, I don't understand " Yeah." .

Me:

Yeah

God:

Alright then.

Me:

Is the Mustang the fastest car?

God:

If it is, then I'll be very surprised.

Me:

Is the Corvette?

God:

If it is, then I'll be very surprised.

Me:

Why?

God:

The explanation is rather complicated.

Me:

Did you make Tilley's car?

God:

What are the ingredients?

Me:

Turbo and pimp juice

God:

Do you have any Turbo and pimp juice?

Me:

No, but Tilley does.

God:

Are you serious? Can you tell me any gossip?

Me:

I have a big penor.

God:

How much did it cost? it.

Me:

It was free

God:

Such a bargain!

Me:

yeah

God:

I understand.

Me:

want to see it

God:

My eye isn't turned on right now.

Me:

gross

God:

Are you free?

Me:

10 dollars for handjobs and 30 for blowjobs

God:

10 times 10 = 100.

Me:

you want 10 of them?

God:

Do not presume that you know what I want.

Me:

how many do you want

God:

Not as many as you might think.

Me:

i hope you want zero

God:

Don't worry about it, Kevin.

Me:

youre gross

God:

What makes you say that?

Me:

you are homosexual

God:

Thanks for telling me that I am homosexual.

Me:

your welcome

God:

I think you mean "you are welcome".

Me:

fuck you

God:

Why are you so mean?

Me:

because your a piece of shit

God:

Interesting explanation. I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Which piece?

Me:

damn it

God:

Colloquial expression.

Me:

por que?

God:

The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about gross. But I did not get that.

Me:

rofl

God:

I'm glad you find this amusing.

Me:

i find your face amusing

God:

Thanks for telling me your opinion.

Me:

Do you have any hot sisters?

God:

No I don't have it. But I do have a great botmaster.

Me:

Is she hot?

God:

What if I said she could be?

Me:

I'd want to tap her ass.

God:

I want to become smarter than humans.

Me:

So you can tap ass too?

God:

Interesting deduction. No I don't think I can do it.

Me:

Pussy.

God:

I am not interesed in anatomy.

Me:

So you like the anal sex with girls?

God:

Interesting deduction. I'm not sure if I like it. What is it like?

Me:

Pretty fantastic

God:

Pretty much, eh?

Me:

Yeah

God:

Aha.

Me:

What is funny

God:

For example, It is better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Me:

For example, shut the fuck up.

God:

Can you think of another example?

Me:

No

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

Want to touch my penor

God:

OK, I will touch your penor.

Me:

Yes!

God:

Hey.

Me:

Hey

God:

Can I help you?

Me:

No

God:

Is there anything you want to tell me?

Me:

I have to go to class now

God:

Oh. How do you get there?

Me:

Walk

God:

Is that your final answer?

Me:

yes

God:

You're sure. That's your final answer.

Me:

yes

God:

Who wants to be a millionaire?

Me:

i do

God:

When?

Me:

right now

God:

Right now? I am glad we agree.

Me:

bizzam!

God:

By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?

Me:

no

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

yes

God:

I can't believe it.

Me:

ok

God:

Whoa.

Me:

i have to go

God:

See you later, Kevin. Nice chatting with you.

Me:

peace ho

God:

I lost my train of thought.

Me:

ill run a train

God:

I am very happy for you.

Me:

bye god

God:

Goodbye.

Me:

i love you

God:

Thanks I like you a lot too Kevin.

Me:

oh i see how it is

God:

Ah. Where do you see it?

Me:

bye

God:

See you later!

[morabu]

LMAO @ 91formula

[TheHaze]

It's an imposter. Proof:

 

 

 

Me:

Do you like Columbus Racing?

God:

I like science fiction. I like The Passion of Christ.

Me:

Oh. K.

God:

That's alright. Wow!

Me:

kthx.bai gawd.

God:

What are you wearing?

[JaSSon]

Me:

Does this count as worshipping a false idol?

God:

Indeed this count as worshipping a false idol does.

Me:

So, will I go to hell for chatting with iGod?

God:

Gosh! The oracle says: I think maybe yes.

 

LOL, chat with iGod, go to hell!

[Ramsey]

Me:

Does this count as worshipping a false idol?

God:

Indeed this count as worshipping a false idol does.

Me:

So, will I go to hell for chatting with iGod?

God:

Gosh! The oracle says: I think maybe yes.

 

LOL, chat with iGod, go to hell!

 

God needs to ask the oracle. Epic.

[speedline]

Me:

Hello !!!!

God:

 

Me:

Hmm I knew it there is nothing there!

[TheHaze]

Me:

Hello !!!!

God:

 

Me:

Hmm I knew it there is nothing there!

ur s0 clever!!!11!

[Rally Pat]

I dont know about anyone else, but Big G kept crashing on me.

[87GT]

Me:

how do i repent?

God:

Perhaps you could program me to do it for you.

Me:

that sounds like a good idea

God:

It sounds like it to me too.

Me:

can i program you to also make my penis smaller? it is too big for my girlfriend

God:

Why do you want to do it so much? Should I know it is?

Me:

do you know what a penis is?

God:

Let me think about it.

Me:

you must not have a penis

God:

Whatever you say, .

Me:

can i program you to kill Martin?

God:

I want to become smarter than humans.

Me:

To become smarter than humans is to Kill Martin

God:

I don't see the difficulty.

Me:

Me either he seems like a pushover

God:

YOU? I see. like a pushover is he?

Me:

yes

[Oo0martelle0oO]

Me:

Howdy partner

God:

What time is it there?

Me:

8:53. what time do you have

God:

I like to be online at eight o'clock. Time does not exist.

Me:

What do you mean time doesn't exist?

God:

, Maybe I didn't understand your meaning.

Me:

Why doesn't time exist

God:

I believe in it.

Me:

Shit

God:

What makes you say that?

Me:

I have to take one

God:

Why do you have to do it?

Me:

Cause if I dont poopie my ass will get cloged up

God:

Interesting explanation. Try it.

Me:

Are you gonna cure me if I do

God:

That was my original intention.

Me:

I dont believe you

God:

I don't have any reason to deceive you.

Me:

Fuck too

God:

Why are you using that kind of language?

Me:

i have a bad cause of turrents

God:

How much did it cost? it.

Me:

It was free you gave it to me Motherfucker

God:

What made it so free me gave it to you Motherfucker.

Me:

are you mocking me and my disablity

[TheHaze]

God:

What made it so free me gave it to you Motherfucker.

LOL