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Movie Review: The Condemned


CobraKevin

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DISCLAIMER: Just in case some of you weren't aware, this is not an Oscar nominee, nor is it intended to be. My rating is based on the movie's goal: pure entertainment.

 

Summary: Through the use of the Internet, a movie producer has taken Reality TV to an entirely new level. 10 of the most dangerous criminals on the face of the planet have been tracked down and brought to a remote island to play a little game. The contestants, each of whom were already on death row, must engage in the ultimate form survival-of-the-fittest - kill or be killed. The last man or woman left alive will walk away with their freedom and a nice starter kit bank roll. And the entire thing will be caught on film through the use of hundreds of preset cameras and broadcasted online across the entire world for a small online payment.

 

Pros: Who doesn't wanna see big and crazy sons-of-bitches fight to the death from every possible angle? Did I mention 2 of the 10 were women? With nice racks?

 

Cons: Not sure how much it really matters, but I thought some of the shots of fast-paced action were visually hard to follow. Oh, and neither rack is exposed.

 

Conclusion: 4.75/5.0. Bad-fucking-ass is the simplistic way to describe this movie. Steve Austin not only demolishes shit, but has some comic relief and an intriguing back story. I find most action films so easy to predict, but this one actually surprised me at the end. Quite a good soundtrack as well.

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Battle Royal did it first and did it better (not counting series 7 which was terrible by all counts), and didn't take itself so seriously. The movie would have been OK for a visceral kick if it wasn't constantly trying to load on the ham-fisted satire.

 

Plus Steve Austin and acting = fail. I don't think he had a line with more than 1 or 2 sentences at a time.

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