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Ron Burgundy checking in. Come see how good I look.


Mojoe

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Ron Burgundy: 1001, 1002, 1003.

Veronica Corningstone: Uh, Mr. Burgundy? Helen said that you needed to see me.

Ron Burgundy: Oh, Miss Corningstone. I wasn't expecting company. Just doing my workout. Tuesday's arms and back.

Veronica Corningstone: Well, you asked me to come by, sir.

Ron Burgundy: Oh, did I?

Veronica Corningstone: Yes.

Ron Burgundy: Ohh, it's the deep burn. Oh, it's so deep. Oh, I can barely lift my right arm 'cause I did so many. I don't know if you heard me counting. I did over a thousand.

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Ron Burgundy:"Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast."

Champ Kind:"It jumped up a notch."

Ron Burgundy:"It did, didn't it?"

Brick Tamland:"Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart."

Ron Burgundy:"I saw that! Brick killed a guy! Did you throw a trident?"

Brick Tamland:"Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident."

Ron Burgundy:"Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safe house or a relative close by. Lay low for a while because you're probably wanted for murder. I'm proud of you fellas. You kept your head on a swivel and that's what you gotta do when you find yourself in a vicious cockfight!"

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Veronica: Mr. Burgundy, you have a massive erection.

Ron: Really? Yes, I do. Um, I'm sorry, it's the-- it's the pleats. It's uh, it's actually a n optical illusion. It's the pattern on the pants. It's not flattering in the crotchal region. I'm actually taking them back right now. Taking them back to... the pants store. Oh, this is awkward.

 

lunch break.

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Veronica Corningstone: My God, what is that smell?

Brian Fantana: That's the smell of desire my lady.

Veronica Corningstone: God no, it smells like, like a used diaper... filled with... Indian food. Oh, excuse me.

Brian Fantana: You know, desire smells like that to some people

Garth Holliday: What is that? Smells like a turd covered in burnt hair.

News Station Employee: Smells like Bigfoot's dick.

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