V8 Beast Posted April 20, 2008 Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 Needed: Nutswingers between the age of 17 - 34. Job Description: Must be proficient in the use of Columbus Racing as well as various other forums. Also must be able to agree with me no matter how stupid of a post I make, or how much of an ass I make of myself in public. The job pays in possible street credibility, and knowing my secrets that are kept from the board. In rare instances you may even be able to ride in my car. Requirements: Must be able to swing from my nuts at a very high rate of speed. Must have at least 6 months of prior nutswinging experience and the ability to multi-task. You will also be required to speak on my behalf whenever possible. Education: Must be able to type in english (and in certain forums espanol). If this looks like the job for you please feel free to contact me at 1-866-NUT-SWANG. You may also apply at nutswingersofamerica.org or email me at Ihaveasmallpenisandcantspeakformyself@imalameass.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceGhost Posted April 20, 2008 Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 http://smiliesftw.com/x/Squinty1k.png Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hal Posted April 20, 2008 Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 I got Brian for $50. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stimmel1647545512 Posted April 20, 2008 Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 oh oh oh pick me I would LOVE to ride in a real pontic trans am! last one I rode in was a 1979 301 turbo (we all know how thrilling those are) and ive been yearning for more ever since! P.S. Im an equal opportunity employee! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V8 Beast Posted April 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 I got Brian for $50. Sorry Hal. You do not have enough prior experience to apply. Dont take this as a failure.. remember Michael Jordan was once cut from the basketball team. With a little bit of practice you can be anything you want to be! Ben, you're hired... right after I ban you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V8 Beast Posted April 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 oh oh oh pick me I would LOVE to ride in a real pontic trans am! last one I rode in was a 1979 301 turbo (we all know how thrilling those are) and ive been yearning for more ever since! P.S. Im an equal opportunity employee! I like your style. Hired! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceGhost Posted April 20, 2008 Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 I have never even had a ride in an 90s or later f-body, last ride I had was my aunt's 88 Firebird, I might have been 13 or 14. I would be the worst at this, I can't even swing on my own nuts. Oh once again I block your BAN! http://www.natch.net/misc/0407/DEXTER.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stimmel1647545512 Posted April 20, 2008 Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 I like your style. Hired! Super, when do I stare and what should I wear/bring for my first day?, Also what do I have to pay you, the reason I ask is because this is obviously a position that is too good to be paid for and one (like yourself) should be compensated for by all means! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stimmel1647545512 Posted April 20, 2008 Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 P.S. do my rep points go up if I fulfill my duties? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V8 Beast Posted April 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 I have never even had a ride in an 90s or later f-body, last ride I had was my aunts 88 Firebird, I might have been 13 or 14. I would be the worst at this, I can't even swing on my own nuts. The best thing about being a certified n.swinger is that you dont have to know anything about me or my car... just act like you do! The training class is two weeks long and the benefits start after your very first post. Its an exciting opportunity in a fast paced environment. You would do great just give it a chance! If you are still concerned here is a letter written from a previous n.swinger. "Brian gave me a chance when no one else would. He took me from an unknown member to a well known nutswinger. After working with Brian I have been able to work with multiple members of the board. Afterwards I branched out to work with the likes of the President of the United States and well known movie stars. Thank you Brian, you rock!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V8 Beast Posted April 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 P.S. do my rep points go up if I fulfill my duties? I have given you rep points. To answer your initial questions the dress code is casual, and you do not owe me anything for the first 3 months!!!!! I will meet you at QS&L next Friday to conduct the new hire orientation. Glad to have you aboard! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stimmel1647545512 Posted April 20, 2008 Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 I have given you rep points. To answer your initial questions the dress code is casual, and you do not owe me anything for the first 3 months!!!!! I will meet you at QS&L next Friday to conduct the new hire orientation. Glad to have you aboard! GREAT, I'm so glad the dress code is casual, I would hate to have to wear my nice slacks especially the first time I ride in the V8BEAST, what a shame it would be to mess a nice fresh pair of slacks, Also I will also be at QS&L next friday rain shine blizzard or apocalypse...just look for the vanilla ice car Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V8 Beast Posted April 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 If it rains I wont be there. However you can feel free to stay there and tell everyone how great I am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckeye1647545503 Posted April 20, 2008 Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 So are you going to lay people off when you blow it up again? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stimmel1647545512 Posted April 20, 2008 Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 If it rains I wont be there. However you can feel free to stay there and tell everyone how great I am. So rain is the only one of the 4 scenarios keeping you from comming, i like your style ha, and I will stay there and tell everyone how great your car is boss no prob! Maybe i could just get a shirt with your picture on the front and your car on the back and obviously no text needed the pics will speak for themseves duh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V8 Beast Posted April 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 So are you going to lay people off when you blow it up again? Yeah, thats why i have to hire new people now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GonneVille Posted April 20, 2008 Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 So are you going to lay people off when you blow it up again? No, no, that's when you need nutswingers the most, to explain how the car produced too much power for the part that broke! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V8 Beast Posted April 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 ^^^^ Hired!!!! That was a test. Buckeye is my head trainer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImUrOBGYN Posted April 20, 2008 Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 Needed: Nutswingers between the age of 17 - 34. Job Description: Must be proficient in the use of Columbus Racing as well as various other forums. Also must be able to agree with me no matter how stupid of a post I make, or how much of an ass I make of myself in public. The job pays in possible street credibility, and knowing my secrets that are kept from the board. In rare instances you may even be able to ride in my car. Requirements: Must be able to swing from my nuts at a very high rate of speed. Must have at least 6 months of prior nutswinging experience and the ability to multi-task. You will also be required to speak on my behalf whenever possible. Education: Must be able to type in english (and in certain forums espanol). If this looks like the job for you please feel free to contact me at 1-866-NUT-SWANG. You may also apply at nutswingersofamerica.org or email me at Ihaveasmallpenisandcantspeakformyself@imalameass.com My hands are as soft and comforting as fresh wool from a pampered lamb's ass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GonneVille Posted April 20, 2008 Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 ^^^^ Hired!!!! That was a test. Buckeye is my head trainer. Yippeee!:leghump: BTW, I put my shoe in an airtight case, so I never lose the smell of your exhaust from the dyno day!:burn: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V8 Beast Posted April 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 My hands are as soft and comforting as fresh wool from a pampered lamb's ass. You are management material!!! Yippeee!:leghump: BTW, I put my shoe in an airtight case, so I never lose the smell of your exhaust from the dyno day!:burn: I laughed so hard at that I fell on the floor! Got back up, read the post below this one, and fell on the floor again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GonneVille Posted April 20, 2008 Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 My hands are as soft and comforting as fresh wool from a pampered lamb's ass. Back off, bitch! He's only got two nuts, and they're both mine! I swear I'll cut you... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hal Posted April 20, 2008 Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 Sorry Hal. You do not have enough prior experience to apply. Dont take this as a failure.. remember Michael Jordan was once cut from the basketball team. With a little bit of practice you can be anything you want to be! Ben, you're hired... right after I ban you That's ok, I understand what's best for your business. I may want to employ one of your trainees once my car is done. I think it would be nice to have a swinger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImUrOBGYN Posted April 20, 2008 Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 Back off, bitch! He's only got two nuts, and they're both mine! I swear I'll cut you... Calm down. I'm management. Come, young man! I will teach you the ways of nutswinging. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImUrOBGYN Posted April 20, 2008 Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 Nut Swinging Lesson 1: Incorrect nut swinging. Incorrect http://www.dkimages.com/discover/previews/852/35051299.JPG Incorrect AND grounds for termination. http://www.geocities.com/hereditarybitch/pwned.jpg Study it well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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