The top 100 reasons it's great to be a guy

[ImUrOBGYN]

Yes, it's a long list. Of course.

(Didn't feel like actually numbering them.)

 

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

Movie nudity is virtually always female.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.

Monday Night Football.

You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives.

Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.

You can open all your own jars.

Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.

Dry cleaners and haircutter's don't rob you blind.

When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.

Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

All your orgasms are real.

A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.

Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.

You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.

You understand why Stripes is funny.

You can go to the bathroom with out a support group.

Your last name stays put.

You can leave a hotel bed unmade.

When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.

You can kill your own food.

The garage is all yours.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.

Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.

You never have to clean the toilet.

You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.

Sex means never worrying about your reputation.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.

The National College Cheerleading Championship

None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite.

If you're 34 and single nobody notices.

You can write your name in the snow.

You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.

Flowers fix everything.

You never have to worry about other people's feelings.

You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.

You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

Three pair of shoes are more than enough.

You can eat a banana in a hardware store.

You can say anything and not worry about what people think.