kenny Posted September 29, 2008 Report Share Posted September 29, 2008 Getting boo'd for every bomb too. Fuck it, I'm going deep! Is that Berrian? I think he's triple-covered. You know what? Fuck it. I'm throwing it downfield. Yeah, I see Jones open on the flank. But fuck that. Dumpoff passes are for faggots. I'm fucking Sexy Rexy Grossman. I can get that ball in there. And, even if I can't, I bet I'll be able to pull it off the next go round. I like throwing the ball long. It makes my dick hard. What's that? I should throw a quick slant? Fuck that. That's gay. Button hook? Gay. Flare out? Gay. Screen pass? Kevin Spacey gay. This is fucking football. You can't just expect wins to come to you. You can't massage that shit. You gotta grab that game by the throat and rape the ever-loving shit out of it. You think a 5-yard out is gonna win you a game? You're a pussy. This ain't John Shoop running this offense. Sexy Rexy's got the arm. The dragon. You gotta unleash the dragon. Okay, I'm throwing it. Nice. Look how far it went. I look good. I bet I made that Pats cheerleader wet her panties with that throw. She fucking wants me. I bet she likes it over a stair railing. I can hit that with 100% accuracy, my dear. Mmmmmm. I am delicious. Oh shit. Looks like Samuel caught it. Again. Oh well. It still felt fucking great to throw that shit. Tell me that wasn't one of the prettiest passes you ever saw. You know what? Not only am I gonna throw it long the next time we hit the field. I'm gonna throw it even longer. Harder. You see that kid in wheelchair sitting in the end zone bleachers? I'm gonna nail him right between the fucking eyes with a Sexy Rexy fastball. Why? Because I can. This is Rex Grossman we're talking about here. We're talking 210 lbs. of twisted steel and sex appeal. I'm not just a gunslinger. I'm a cumslinger. Throwing that ball long tells all the Rexettes that I am fucking out there. On the edge. Where I gotta be. The ladies love the danger. The unpredictability. Oh, maybe I'll tease them with a pretty touch pass every now and again. But then I'm gonna go right back to pumping that ball out for all it's worth. It tells them I throw like I fuck. That's how we do things in the sexy business. Tell me you're not turned on right now. I am. http://i35.tinypic.com/2ev5idj.jpg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2 Sweet Posted September 29, 2008 Report Share Posted September 29, 2008 LOL, funny stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenny Posted September 29, 2008 Author Report Share Posted September 29, 2008 LOL, funny stuff We have a game Sunday? Fuck, I didn't even know. They don't tell me when the games are played. I just run out onto the field and start aiming lasers for fucking Saturn, you know what I mean? If there's a defense there, whatever. Sexy Rexy is more than happy to spray hot passes all over the defense's chest. Who are we playing? The Lions? Pfft. Those guys aren't sexy. You telling me Jon Kitna is sexy? I've seen white supremacists in prison who are sexier than that do-gooder. No wonder he's a devout Christian. What kind of pussy would he pull on the open market? Dumpster pussy, that's what. What's that color the Lions wear? Honolulu Blue? Yeah, well I nailed six Hawaiian Tropic girls last week. So while those assholes are busy wearing Honolulu, I'm busy fucking it. Wore my mesh practice top the whole time, too. And in front of a mirror. Ever stick your finger up your own ass? God, it just felt so right. Jesus, now that you told me I'm playing Detroit, I'm all fucking hot. God dammit. I gotta go throw something. Now. I just... I just can't take the anticipation. It's driving me buc wild. Such a depleted secondary. So many long, long throws. You know I accidentally fucked Olin Kreuntz once? True story. So, you play fantasy football? That's funny. Because I am fantasy football. Girls watch me throw and they ovulate. It's just the way I move. So poised. So strong. So fluid. They know I'm undressing the defense with my arm. Oh, Daddy says that Rex Grossman is up to no good. And you know what, honey? Your daddy is right. I am thinking nasty, nasty thoughts when I'm out there. I throw that ball sixty yards, and I just wanna ram a stick of butter up some girl's ass. I can't help it. Football and sex just go together for me. It's a natural fit, just like any girl is a natural fit on me. Hope you win, kid. Either way, Rex is fucking that night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2 Sweet Posted September 29, 2008 Report Share Posted September 29, 2008 Where are you getting this shit from? LOLOLOLOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mopar Posted September 29, 2008 Report Share Posted September 29, 2008 ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Karacho1647545492 Posted September 29, 2008 Report Share Posted September 29, 2008 i hope you're in that group on facebook, i created that shit. and by created it i mean reposted it from Big Daddy Drew of the KSK colloquium. kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com. read it, love it. oh and if you're truly OG you'll have a t-shirt like mine, they're badass http://i301.photobucket.com/albums/nn69/caxide/sexyrexyshirt.jpg edit: yes its a cell phone pic eat a pile of shit if you don't like it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 614Streets Posted September 29, 2008 Report Share Posted September 29, 2008 Lmao Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenny Posted September 29, 2008 Author Report Share Posted September 29, 2008 I was in on it when the shirts came out but I never got around to buying one. Still mad at myself for not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Karacho1647545492 Posted September 29, 2008 Report Share Posted September 29, 2008 I was in on it when the shirts came out but I never got around to buying one. Still mad at myself for not. yeah as far as i know the guy only sold like 50. too bad there were about 1500 other people that wanted them. edit: i'm too lazy but tomorrow i'll post a pic of our Sexy Rexy Fathead that we got on clearance after he got benched. best $30 i've ever spent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenny Posted September 29, 2008 Author Report Share Posted September 29, 2008 I couldn't stop laughing at all the boos tonight. I seriously thought the Eagles were going to come back due to his retarded passes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin R. Posted September 29, 2008 Report Share Posted September 29, 2008 Shit is hilarious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Karacho1647545492 Posted September 29, 2008 Report Share Posted September 29, 2008 I couldn't stop laughing at all the boos tonight. I seriously thought the Eagles were going to come back due to his retarded passes. i'm pretty sure closing his eyes when he passes has something to do with it. photo proof: http://i301.photobucket.com/albums/nn69/caxide/sexyrexyeyesclosed.jpgcredit goes to grossman, though. must hurt his eyes aiming at saturn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenny Posted September 29, 2008 Author Report Share Posted September 29, 2008 They're like fucking laser beams man. I'm going deep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGRE Posted September 29, 2008 Report Share Posted September 29, 2008 I just spit beer all over my computer! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenny Posted September 29, 2008 Author Report Share Posted September 29, 2008 I just spit beer all over my computer! Quick, hit the turbo button. You're ready for time travel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2 Sweet Posted September 29, 2008 Report Share Posted September 29, 2008 Grossman doesn't play anymore. Kyle Orton is the starter... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Karacho1647545492 Posted September 29, 2008 Report Share Posted September 29, 2008 Grossman doesn't play anymore. Kyle Orton is the starter... http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd72/suriyasiero/553px-Lol_que.jpg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.