Who is up for a challenge?

[OSUPITTSBURGH427]

So my roommate and I were working out today and this is what we discussed for the bulk of our workout. Let me know what you think......

 

 

The Best Man is a rare but very rewarding move that happens only when one has enough wit, charm, humor, looks, skill, and experience for ten men. The Best Man takes preparation, as well as patience, to pull of The Best Man makes you an instant legend.

To successfully pull of The Best Man, the man usually has another man or even a few good men as his back up.

 

The duties of these wingmen are to: do recon, review all plans then double-check them, talk up said man, assist in the preparation in the wedding, and many others that may come up. Without the wingman/men this would be an almost impossible feat.

 

So what is The Best Man? Performing The Best Man is when one man that is a Groomsmen fucks all of the Bridesmaids and the Bride herself. Now all of the carnal knowledge must take place within 24 hours of the first dance. We have found (we being William Joel Parker and Myself) that it is best done like this.

 

The first girl is often the best looking of the Bridesmaids; she is also the hardest to close. With her you build up a friendship over the course of the time you get your invitation. Once that is done you charm her during the rehearsal and take her before the rehearsal dinner.

 

Girls two and three are usually the morally loose ones, again our findings suggest that it is best to get these ladies in the sack at the same time. After the dinner you suggest that it would be fun for the group to go out for drinks, this is where the wingmen come in with talking you up and giving you all of the information needed to smite these vixens with your endless charm. When the bar closes you get the two and you in the back seat of the cab and hope your night ends right.

 

Girl four is typically the sure thing; not the best looking but the one who you know has a crush on you so you save her for last. She is usually taken sometime before getting dressed for the big show, but after defiantly after makeup.

 

Now if you have completed the mission thus far, this is what we would call a good weekend. However it is not performing The Best Man. Alright one more to go, as everyone knows the Bride is going to be one hell of a challenge. It is best if she is slutty, but if she is not you better hope she is marrying your rich stepbrother who is an Asshole to her and everyone else. She must be taken before the first dance. The limo, the bathroom, the basement these are all acceptable coitus rooms.

 

If you have pulled this off, congratulations you are now a member of an elite brotherhood of Cocksmen. Pat yourself on the back pull out the victory cigars and take the boys out for a much-deserved drink.

 

The Rules: No Ruffies, Must have proof (i.e. picture, video, witness), the Bride must not be taken more than 100 feet from the party when you bang her. Don’t do this to friends. Viagra is permitted, No condoms.