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http://www.greatdreams.com/reptlan/reps.htm

 

In case you weren't aware, there is a race of shape-shifting lizard alien humanoids that are currently running the world.

 

-Who Are They?

 

People. Who are lizards. You can't tell, though, because they're also shape-shifters.

 

-Who Thinks They Control the World?

Meet David Icke. He is a fucking loon.

A former football player and sports announcer, David Icke became shithouse rat insane in 1994. For most of that decade he was lost in the crowd, talking about a group of "Global Elite" secretly controlling the world (by which he usually meant "the Jews"). Then one day in 1999, he published a book that revealed the greatest secret in human history: We're all secretly being controlled by alien lizards from the constellation Draco.

 

In case his word isn't enough, Icke offers up a convoluted theory about how the elite families in America and Europe interbreed not because of snobbery, but so they can preserve their alien lizard DNA. The British royal family, the Bushes, the Kennedys, the Rothschilds and the Rockefellers are all part of this alien collective. Never mind the fact that Joe Kennedy, Sr. was just some middle-class Irish guy before he built himself up via stock market scams and, possibly, bootlegging. And we don't know how he's going to integrate the horribly impoverished Kenyan Obama bloodline into that theory. Probably some drunken lizard uncle who went slumming for a spell.

 

Oh, and did I mention that lots of people agree with him?

 

Icke spends most of his time writing and traveling across the world giving crazy talks that draw surprisingly large crowds. Especially in Canada. We like to think that most of his "followers" just love him ironically, like Ed Wood fans, but unfortunately there's no way to tell.

 

 

-Why People Believe It:

 

Icke basically took the concept of the Illuminati in his hand and fisted it deep into the bowels of crazy land. The element of V-style shape-shifting aliens adds a cool layer of sci-fi to the whole thing that's hard to resist.

 

These days, fans of the theory have dug up thousands of photos that claim to have caught world leaders dropping their disguise, from photos of George Bush, Sr. with reptilian slit pupils:

 

http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/secret_organizations/lizard4.jpg

 

, to TV reporters
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A PREDICTION FOR THE FUTURE FROM THE HOUSE OF DAVID

 

Between now and 2007 AD, our planet will have a 70 degree pole shift. Saudia Arabia will become the new North Pole. In the next 10 years, these are the changes we'll be witness to:

1. We will all become telepathic.

 

2. The Andromedan Council has ordered all extraterrestrial presences on the planet, in the planet, and on the moon to be completely out of our space. They want everything that's ET, benevolent or not, off the planet. This will be very interesting since there are over 1,833 reptilians living in our planet and over 18,000 grays living underground and on the moon. The council would like to see how we will live with each other when we are not being manipulated by ETs, as we have been for the last 5,723 years.

 

About damn time!

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The whole reptilian race thing was around long before him, though, and as far as conspiracies go, a rather common one shared with a great many people.

 

I have reptilian character on Oblivion, so I think they'll see me as a sympathizer and let me live.

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