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Craigslist Translations


nurkvinny

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Stolen from a CL car ad that will probably get deleted:

 

" what the ad says".. vs . . .."what it really should say"

 

 

1. needs minor repair............................................................................................................. has 1 or more rods coming out the oil pan

 

2. should be a simple fix.........................................................................................................I tried to replace some parts and now it won't run at all

 

3. some rust in the usual places.............................................................................................it's been sittin in the woods for 20 years

 

4. crate motor........................................................................................................................apparently a can of orange spray paint can add 200 h.p. and unlimited cubic inch displacement

 

5. I would fix it but don't have the time.....................................................................................a neighbor tried to fix it , now I don't know what it needs

 

6. minor body damage............................................................................................................except for the telephone pole in the passenger seat the body is straight,

 

7. rebuilt title , but never been in an accident...........................................................................see # 6

 

8.Pro-Street...........................................................................................................................my cousin put on an " Elderbrook intake" and Jegs traction bars...................................................(ya , I know how to spell Edelbrock)

 

9. will trade for about anything, "sho me wat u got" .................................................................has a blown head gasket and I need to unload it on some other dumb ass

 

10. One owner/ low miles.......................................................................................................it broke down 10 years ago and been sitting in a field ever since

 

11. Selling for payoff/ take over the payments........................................................................I really overpaid and are so far upside down I can see Tokyo, .... looking to find someone dumber than me

 

12. runs great , but may need a "tune up"................................................................................only hitting on five out of six cylinders , but only smokes for the first 20 miles or loss of oil pressure whichever occurrs first

 

13. project, no time to finish, lost interest...............................................................................I can't change my own spark plugs but it didn't stop me from taking everything apart, now I can't remember where it goes

 

14. Fast and Furious............................................................................................................... putting on fake carbon fiber dash trim, and a big ass wing........adds 100 H.P.

 

15. 1984 "cutty", classic show car......................................................................................... ya........when Charlton Heston lands on the planet of the apes

 

16. Need to sell today............................................................................................................my boyfriends in jail and I need bail money

 

17. We finance any credit...................................................................................................... desperate to sell any car on the lot, prepare to make payments for 10 years

 

18. sell today only $1500.00.....it goes back up to $2000.00 tomorrow................................I just read Nancy Pelosi's book......"how to screw up the economy" copyright, obama publishing co, Harry Reid, chairman

 

19. Price reduced!.....won't last long !.....................................................................................I just hope it lasts long enough to sell it to the next smuck...............I put in 3 jars of motor honey

 

20. Rat Rod..............................................................................................................................see # 3, .............includes a can of black spray paint

 

21. "show room condition" ...........................................................................................hasn't moved from the driveway for a year, pay no attention to the cinder blocks holding up the car, it may need a transmission

 

22. Anniversary Edition..........................................................................................................abracadabra.!........every 4 or 6 cylinder Camaro made that year is now an anniversary edition

 

23. no title sold as is............................................................................................................LOL.....I screwed the "buy here pay here lot out of the last 5 payments,..............keep it in your garage for 6 months

 

24."turn key"..........................................................................................................................probably one of the few things that does still turn

 

25 Kelly Blue Book/KBB .....................................................................................................I use "suggested retail " price to sell mine.....................................ans I use "trade in value " when I want to buy yours

 

26. Good Condition ! .........................................................................................................except for the 8 or more item list of broken or inoperable items ,....... the rest is in good condition

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