Important information regarding firearms & caliber

[SuBaruA]

Guns are serious business, so its only fitting that we have a thread to share some important facts about them. Feel free to add to this (none of these are my own work btw, just stuff I've found):

On Caliber:

http://img688.imageshack.us/img688/2733/joke10.jpg

About AR, AK, and Nagant owners:

http://img534.imageshack.us/img534/6150/funno.jpg

 

 

For When SHTF.......

http://www.everydaynodaysoff.com/2009/12/30/pros-and-cons-of-possible-shtf-rifle-choices/#more-2810

 

The AR 15:

Great, awesome, unbelievable rifle (when it works). Can hit a fly in the butt

at 300 yards (when it works). If one is ever attacked by a pack of feral

poodles post-SHTF, this is the perfect defensive rifle (unless it jams, in

which case you're poodle food). The upside is that one can hang more plastic

aftermarket doo-dads on it than a Christmas tree, which may effectively

frighten away bad guys when the gun jams. Also, by simply changing the upper,

one can convert it into a Ruger 10/22.

 

The MINI-14:

Could be a good rifle, but it's not black.

 

The SKS:

Best obsolete rifle ever made (even if it isn't black, but you can buy a

black aftermarket stock that looks kinda like an AR). If you need to lay in a

big mud puddle and shoot at bad guys, this is the rifle to have. It will

shoot as well as ever (maybe even better) when full of mud and the ten round

mag makes puddle shooting a breeze since unlike hi-cap mags, you can hold the

rifle upright in prone (mud puddle) position. Major drawback is that everyone

knows that in a post-SHTF situation one must immediately fire thousands of

rounds, a task for which a fixed ten round magazine is ill-equipped, which is

why they invented the AK. You can buy aftermarket hi-cap mags, but they often

jam, creating the illusion that one is shooting an AR when combined with a

nifty aftermarket stock. Other major drawback is that the 7.62 x 39 round is

not .223 or .308.

 

The AK-47:

The AK-47 solved the difficult problem of firing thousands of rounds at

approaching bad guys by allowing you to deftly change 30 round mags taped

back to back, or for the truly ambitious, drum type magazines may be found.

Unfortunately, buying an AK-47 is difficult, as they only come in full auto

Configurations. The good news is that a number of semi-automatic variants are

available, allowing you to simulate an actual AK-47 by pulling the trigger

really, really fast. Like the SKS, AK variants function best when filled with

mud, but actually filling them is difficult as the hi-cap magazine makes

lying in a mud puddle while shooting much more difficult. Fortunately,

tactical experts from a mysterious facility known only to us as "the hood"

have developed the "homeboy" method of handling an AK variant which promises

to alleviate the hi-cap magazine vs mud puddle problem. One drawback of the

AK variant is that (like the SKS) it's not black, however, aftermarket

vendors have corrected this tactical faux pas on the part of Soviet designers

by offering black furniture for those "in the know". Like the SKS, the AK

variant also suffers from the troubling problem that the 7.62 x 39 round is

not .223 or .308. However, recognizing this problem, Russian designers have

created a similar cartridge to the .223 known as the 5.45 x 39.5. The problem

of the 7.62 x 39 not being a .308 has not been addressed, as Russian poodles

are apparently no larger than American poodles. Nevertheless, the quest to

make smaller and smaller projectiles for combat weapons continues and rumors

of a newer and better innovation known as the "pellet gun" have recently

surfaced. We await an AR upper to accommodate this promising new caliber.

 

The Mosin-Nagant:

This unpronounceable rifle has a long history of military service. Napoleon

reportedly had one. The unusually long 91/30 barrel combined with bayonet

insures that it should be especially useful should a SHTF scenario involve

the "redcoats" coming. The major drawback of this rifle is that it is a bolt

action, which could make firing the rerequisite thousands of rounds at

approaching bad guys difficult. However, if the Mosin owner and the bad guys

are patient, one should be able to sling enough lead downrange by the time

they are older than their rifle currently is. Like other eastern block

rifles, the Mosin also is not black. This may be a possible reason why the

Soviets lost the cold war. However, like the SKS and AK, western vendors have

corrected this problem by offering an aftermarket stock in black.

Unfortunately, none are available with a pistol grip. If Napoleon's Mosin had

a pistol grip, he may have very well conquered the world, but that's another

discussion. Other "carbine" type Mosins are also available, which would be

the perfect compliment if one's SHTF plan includes charging at bad guys on

horseback while wearing a fur hat, swinging a curved saber and swilling a

bottle of vodka.

 

The CETME:

While the Mosin-Nagant takes a step in the right direction by chambering a

larger caliber, the CETME promises to actually be able to send the desired

thousands of rounds downrange much like the AK, only with the "bang" being in

Spanish rather than Russian. While promising, the CETME is said to fall short

since it's commonly known that the Century built models can only be fired

once before exploding. The best-known solution is to use the CETME like a

hand grenade, throwing it at the bad guys and hoping they try to fire it so

it explodes on them rather than you.

 

The G3:

The G3 would probably make a good post-SHTF weapon, but they're full auto and

Uncle Sam says you can't have one. Because he said so and because "he's the

uncle". Well, you could get one if you sold your house and lived in your car

to pay for it, but that's pretty much the same thing. The good news is that

you could get a semi-automatic version like the HK91 or PTR-91 (and they're

black, a major improvement on the original CETME design). The major complaint

about this design is that it has stuff like a fluted chamber and a

roller-delayed blowback action, making it too exotic for a viable SHTF

weapon. The other major drawback reported about this German improvement on

the CETME design is that it's not an M1A or a FAL.

 

The FAL:

The FAL is the freemason of rifles. Though you don't run into them often,

they're reported to be everywhere and secretly control the world of guns.

This explains why FAL owners tend to worship their rifles, often converting

their gun cabinets into FAL shrines and performing bizarre candlelit rituals

before their rifle, which only the initiated understand. For the uninitiated,

the upside is that the FAL can be found in black furniture and has hi-cap

magazines. FAL owners tend to taunt AR owners about their "poodle shooter"

calibers, touting the ability of the .308 to penetrate such obstacles as

trees. While this puzzles some, I suspect that the members of the FAL cult

may have some mysterious knowledge that common gun owners do not. Perhaps

when the SHTF and hordes of trees rise up to destroy the human race we will

all wish we had a FAL.

 

The M1A:

The M1A is the ultimate SHTF rifle. We know this because M1A owners remind us

of this constantly. Like the FAL, the M1A is capable of stopping a tree in

its tracks. When the hordes of killer trees take the rest of us, FAL and M1A

owners will Likely be the only ones left to hash out who has the better

rifle. Of course, we know the answer (because M1A owners Remind us of it

constantly). The M1A not only has superior penetration, it is extremely

accurate at distance. Therefore, when the hordes of killer trees have all

been mowed down, FAL owners will fall quickly to the hordes of paper

silhouette targets come to avenge their woodland brethren. The M1A owners

will stop the avenging targets with neat, 1 MOA groups center mass at 600

yards. At that point, the standard M1A owners will have to hash out which is

the better gun with the SOCOM 16 owners to determine who will inherit the

earth. A glaring design error in the M1A is that it's not black, which is why

they invented the SOCOM.

 

Other military style rifles:

There are, in fact, other military style rifles, which I have not mentioned.

It is, however, widely understood that all of these other rifles will fail as

soon as the stuff hits the fan and being less common than the others, parts

will not be available, rendering them all useless.

 

Pistol caliber carbines and sporting rifles:

Aside from the biggies, there are carbines in pistol calibers, but as Jeff

Cooper says about the .32, if your shoot someone with one, and they notice,

they'll probably get mad. Therefore, pistol caliber carbines are fun toys,

but not a serious SHTF choice.

 

Sporting rifles are right out.. They are not designed to fire the required

volume of ammunition in a short period. Under such stress, their barrels will

melt and droop like wet noodles, leaving the user defenseless.

 

Well, that's about it. Thanks to the Internet and the plethora of gurus on

it, I now have a comprehensive understanding of every possible SHTF rifle,

even one's I've never owned or even shot. Naturally, I had to pass this

know-how on.

[SuBaruA]

But Wait..

 

You bought the wrong gun!!!

 

M14/M1A:

Clunky, heavy, and overpowered. Essentially a Garand tarted up with a

removable magazine, in a half-baked attempt to adapt a 19th century rifle

design philosophy to the mid-20th century. Most often named as favorite

infantry rifle by people who never had to hump a 10-pound wood-stocked rifle

with lots of sharp protrusions and no collapsible anything on a three day

exercise, or try to make it through a firefight with the standard battle load

of five 20-round magazines.

 

AK-47:

Crude and inaccurate bullet thrower designed by and for illiterate peasants.

Chambered in a caliber that manages to cut the ballistics of a proper

.30-caliber battle rifle in half without passing on any weight savings to the

grunt. Ergonomics only suitable for Russian midgets. Archaic cable trigger

spring, crummy sights, no sight radius to speak of, no bolt hold-open device,

and a clumsy safety. Favorite infantry rifle of Middle Eastern goat herders,

guys named Abdullah, and backwoods militia types who like the fact that it

shoots cheap ammo and has ballistics like their familiar .30-30.

 

H&K G-3/HK-91:

Ergonomics of a railroad tie. No bolt release, and a locking system that

requires three men and a mule to work the cocking handle. Fluted chamber that

mauls brass, and violent bolt motion that dings the brass that didn't get

mauled too badly by the chamber. Stamped sheet metal construction, yet just

as heavy as a milled steel M14. Safety lever that requires unnaturally long

thumbs, and a trigger pull that feels like dragging a piano across a gravel

road with your index finger. Favorite infantry rifle of Cold War nostalgics

and third world commandos.

 

M-16/AR-15:

Underpowered varmint rifle burdened by a crummy magazine design. Nasty

direct-impingement gas system that poops where it eats. High sight line,

flimsy alloy-and-plastic construction. Generally favored by range commandos,

tactical disciples, military vets who have never fired anything else for

comparison, and Brownells addicts who a.) enjoy spending three times the cost

on the rifle on bolt-on accoutrements, and b.) never have to use their rifle

away from a dry, sunny range.

 

G-36:

Flimsy plastic rifle with non-user adjustable fair-weather optics that fog up

when a gnat breaks wind in front of them. Magazines that take up twice as

much pouch space than others in the same caliber because of the "clever"

coupling nubs on the magazine housing. Skeleton folding stock that is about

as suitable for butt-stroking as a plastic mess spork. Twice as expensive as

other rifles in its class because of the "HK" logo on the receiver. Preferred

infantry rifle of SWAT cops, and soldiers whose militaries haven't been in

shooting conflicts since the 1940s.

 

Glock:

Butt-ugly plastic shooting appliance with the ergonomics of a caulking gun.

Five-pound trigger with no external safety makes it ill-suited for its target

market (cops who shoot a hundred rounds a year for qualification). Favored by

gangbangers because the product name is short and rhymes with other short,

rap-friendly words.

 

Beretta 92F/M9:

Clunky and overweight rip-off of a clunky and overweight German design from

the 1930s. Shear-happy locking block, ergonomics that are only suited for

linebackers, barely adequate sights that are partially non-replaceable, and

low capacity for its size. Favored by Eighties action movie fanatics and John

Woo freaks.

 

1911:

Overweight and overly complex piece of late 19th century technology. Low

capacity, useless sights in stock form, and a field-stripping procedure that

requires three hands. Favored by people who are at the cutting edge of

handgun technology and combat shooting of the 1960s.

 

H&K P7:

Wildly overpriced, heavy for its size, low capacity in most iterations, and

blessed with a finish that rusts if you give the gun a moist glance. Gas tube

has a tendency to roast the trigger finger after a box or two of ammo at the

range. Favored by gun snobs who think that paying twice as much for half the

rounds means four times the fighting skill.

 

SIG Sauer:

Top-heavy bricks with the rust resistance of an untreated iron nail at the

bottom of a bucket of saltwater. Ergonomically sound, if you have size XXL

mitts. Some minor parts made in Germany, so the manufacturer can charge 75%

Teutonic Gnome Magic premium. Favored by Jack Bauer fans and wannabe Sky

Marshals/Secret Service agents.

 

S&W Revolvers:

Archaic hand weapons from a bygone era, the missing link between flintlocks

and autoloaders. Low capacity, and reloading requires a lunch break. Heavy

for their capacity, unless you're talking about airweight snubbies, which

hurt as much on the giving end as they do on the receiving end. Rare

stoppages, but few malfunctions that don't require gunsmith services, which

are hard to come by in a gunfight. Favored by crusty old farts who just now

got around to trusting newfangled smokeless powder, and Dirty Harry fans with

unrealistic ideas about the power of Magnum rounds vs. engine blocks.

 

SMLE/Enfield:

Refinement of a 19th century blackpowder design. Weapon of choice for

militaries who either couldn't afford Mausers, or had ideological hang-ups

about Kraut rifles. Rimlock-prone cartridge that only barely classifies as a

battle rifle round because of blackpowder derivation and insufficient lock

strength of the platform. Favored by Canadians with WWII nostalgia, and

people who think that semi-auto rifles are a passing fad.

 

Browning HP:

Fragile frame designed around a popgun round. Near-useless safety in stock

form that's only suitable for the thumbs of elementary schoolers. Strangest

and most circuitous way to trip a sear ever put into a handgun. Favored by

wannabe SAS commandos, wannabe mercenaries, and Anglophiles who think that

hammer-down, chamber-empty carry is the most appropriate way to carry a

defensive sidearm.

 

Benelli shotguns:

Plastic boutique scatterguns made by people with the martial acumen of dairy

cows. Hideously expensive, and therefore popular with police agencies that

get their equipment financed by tax dollars.

 

FN FAL:

Long and lightweight receiver that's impossible to scope properly.

Overpowered round, twenty-round magazines that run dry in a blink, and an

overall weapon length that's only suitable for Napoleonic line infantry, but

utterly useless for airborne and armored infantry. Made by Belgians, a nation

with a military history that is limited to waving German divisions through at

the border. Favored by Falklands veterans, Commonwealth fanboys, and people

who think that dial-a-recoil gas systems are the epitome of infantry

technology.

 

And now, YOUR CALIBER SUCKS TOO!!!

 

9mm Luger:

European popgun round that's only popular because the ammo is cheap for a

centerfire cartridge. Cheap ammo is a good thing for 9mm aficionados, because

anything bigger and more dangerous than a cranky raccoon will likely require

multiple well-placed hits. Wildly popular all over the world, mostly in

countries where people don't carry guns, and cops don't have to actually

shoot people with theirs.

 

.45ACP:

Chunky low-pressure cartridge that hogs magazine space and requires a

low-capacity design (if the gun needs to fit human hands) or a grip with the

circumference of a two-liter soda bottle (if the gun needs to hold more than

seven rounds). Disturbingly prone to bullet setback, expensive to reload,

fits only into big and clunky guns, and a recoil that has an inversely

proportionate relationship with muzzle energy.

 

.40S&W:

Neutered compromise version of a compromise cartridge. Even more

setback-happy than the .45ACP, and setbacks are much more dangerous because

of higher pressure and smaller case volume. Manages to sacrifice both the

capacity of the 9mm and the bullet diameter of the .45. Twice the recoil of

the 9mm for 10% more muzzle energy.

 

.357SIG:

Highly overpriced boutique round that does the .40S&W one worse: it manages

to share the capacity penalty of the .40 while retaining the small bullet

diameter of the 9mm. Noisy, sharp recoil, and 100% cost penalty for

ballistics that can be matched by a good 9mm +P+ load. Penetrates like the

dickens, which means that the Air Marshals just had to adopt it, only to load

their guns with frangible bullets to make sure they don't penetrate like the

dickens.

 

.38 Special:

Legacy design with a case length that's 75% longer than necessary for the

mediocre ballistics of the round due to its blackpowder heritage. On the plus

side, the case length makes it easy to handle when reloading the gun. This is

a good thing because anyone using their .38 in self-defense against a

250-pound attacker hopped up on crack will need to empty the gun multiple

times.

 

.32ACP:

Inadequate for anything more thick-skinned than Northeastern squirrels or

inbred Austrian archdukes. Semi-rimmed cartridge that is rimlock-happy in

modern lightweight autoloaders. Doesn't go fast enough to expand a

hollowpoint bullet, and it wouldn't matter even if it did, because the bullet

would only expand from tiny to small-ish.

 

.44 Magnum:

Overpowered round that generates manageable recoil and muzzle blast...if

you're a 300-pound linebacker with wrists like steel girders. Often loaded to

"Lite" levels that turn it into a noisy .44 Special while retaining the

ego-preserving Magnum headstamp. Considered the "most powerful handgun

cartridge in the world" by people whose gun knowledge is either stuck in

1960, or who get their expertise in ballistics from Dirty Harry movies.

 

.50 Desert Eagle:

The Magnum of the new century. Realizing Hollywood couldn't escape their

Magnum fetishes, they found a handgun that fits the same stopping power quota

of .44 Magnum and all of its filthy drawbacks. Popular amongst steroid filled

movie actors who needs big guns to compensate for the steroid struck

testicles. Comes in a baby variant for junior.

 

10mm Auto:

Super-high pressure cartridge that beats up gun and shooter alike. Very brisk

recoil in anything other than all-steel S&W boat anchors, with a shot

recovery that's measured in geological epochs for most handgun platforms.

Often underloaded to wimpy levels (see ".40 S&W"), which then gives it 9mm

ballistics while requiring .45ACP magazine real estate.

 

.380ACP/9mm Kurz:

Designed by people who thought the 9mm Luger was a bit too brisk and snappy,

which is pretty much all that needs to be said here. Great round if you

expect to only ever be attacked by people less than seven inches thick from

front to back.

 

.357 Magnum:

Lots of recoil, muzzle blast, and noise to drive a 9mm bullet to reckless

speeds in an attempt to make up for its low mass and diameter. Explosive

fragmentation and insufficient penetration with light bullets; excessive

penetration and insufficient expansion with heavy ones. Still makes only 9mm

holes in the target.

 

5.7×28mm:

Ingenious way to make a centerfire .22 Magnum and then charge quadruple price

for the same ballistics. Awesome chambering for a police weapon, if you're

the park ranger in charge of the chipmunk exhibit at the zoo and you want to

make sure you can take one down if it turns rabid on you.

 

.25ACP:

Direct violation of the maxim "Never do an enemy a minor injury". Designed by

folks who wanted to retain the bullet diameter of the .22 rimfire round, but

take a bit of the excessive lethality out of it. Favored by people who don't

feel comfortable carrying anything more dangerous than the neighbor kid's

rusty Red Ryder pellet gun."

[1fast5gp]

:confused:

[RyM3rC]

Ha! Keep them coming.

[Rob1647545496]

i can't count how many times i just laughed out loud.

[OGRE]

LOL

 

i'm still keeping my .45, i like to make big holes.