justin0469 Posted March 24, 2009 Report Share Posted March 24, 2009 Saw this over on 600rr.net, thought it was funnySIMPLE DUTIESYou make the bed .............................................+1You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows....-1You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...................-2You leave the toilet seat up..................................-5You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty............+5When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-1When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom...........-2You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5in the rain.............................................. .....+8But return with beer..........................................-1And no panty liners..........................................-25You check out a suspicious noise at night.....................+1You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.............0You check out a suspicious noise and it is something..........+5You pummel it with a six iron................................+10It's her cat............................................... ..-40AT THE PARTYYou stay by her side the entire party..........................0You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a schoolDrinking buddy............................................. ...-2Named Tiffany........................................... ......-5Tiffany is a dancer..........................................-10With breast implants.........................................-20HER BIRTHDAYYou remember her birthday.....................................+1You buy a card and flowers....................................+2You take her out to dinner....................................+5You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar.........+10Okay, it is a sports bar.....................................-10And it's all-you-can-eat night...............................-20It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is paintedthe colors of your favorite team.............................-30A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYSGo with a pal............................................... .. 0The pal is happily married................................... +1The pal is single............................................-10He drives a Ferrari..........................................-20With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)..................-30A NIGHT OUT WITH HERYou take her to a movie.......................................+2You take her to a movie she likes.............................+5You take her to a movie you hate..............................+8You take her to a movie you like..............................-5It's called Death Cop III....................................-10Which features Cyborgs that eat humans.......................-20You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans........-30YOUR PHYSIQUEYou develop a noticeable pot belly............................-5You develop a noticeable pot belly & get rid of it...........+10You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggyHawaiian shirts............................................ ..-30You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too.".............-100THE BIG QUESTIONShe asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"You hesitate in responding...................................-10You reply, "Where?"...................................... ....-35You reply, "No, I think it's your ass"......................-100COMMUNICATIONWhen she wants to talk about a problem:You listen, displaying a concerned expression.................+1You listen, for over 30 minutes...............................+5You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.....+50You have fallen asleep......................................-200IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTHYou talk....................................................-100You don't talk...............................................-100You spend time with her.....................................-100You don't spend time with Her...............................-100You are seen enjoying yourself..............................-100 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmoosego Posted March 24, 2009 Report Share Posted March 24, 2009 WHERE CAN I FIND THAT TO PRINT OUT??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4DAIVI PAI2K5 Posted March 24, 2009 Report Share Posted March 24, 2009 uuuummmmm right above u moose... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbrjess0815 Posted March 24, 2009 Report Share Posted March 24, 2009 LOL... This is great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harb67 Posted March 24, 2009 Report Share Posted March 24, 2009 WHERE CAN I FIND THAT TO PRINT OUT??? Silly old people and the internet...:tongue:See that "Thread Tools" button at the top of the post? Click it and it has a printable link.Or you could just copy/paste the text you want from the thread into Microsoft Word or Wordpad or whatever word processing software you prefer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thegame Posted March 24, 2009 Report Share Posted March 24, 2009 hahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchmuckGirl Posted March 24, 2009 Report Share Posted March 24, 2009 The last part is so true..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kawi kid Posted March 24, 2009 Report Share Posted March 24, 2009 the last part is so true its sorta scary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cdubyah Posted March 24, 2009 Report Share Posted March 24, 2009 sooooo I'm like 1,000,000,000 points in the negative right now..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchmuckGirl Posted March 24, 2009 Report Share Posted March 24, 2009 sooooo I'm like 1,000,000,000 points in the negative right now.....You and every other male on earth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kawi kid Posted March 24, 2009 Report Share Posted March 24, 2009 sooooo I'm like 1,000,000,000 points in the negative right now.....me toohell i havent even counted tonight yet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schmuckingham Posted March 24, 2009 Report Share Posted March 24, 2009 You and every other male on earth kiss my ass, I am not listening to your problems and agreeing with you while sharing a relative experience anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
e-flores Posted March 24, 2009 Report Share Posted March 24, 2009 kiss my ass, I am not listening to your problems and agreeing with you while sharing a relative experience anymore.-10 points Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disclaimer Posted March 24, 2009 Report Share Posted March 24, 2009 Sometimes that's the price you have to pay to keep your man card. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
e-flores Posted March 24, 2009 Report Share Posted March 24, 2009 Sometimes that's the price you have to pay to keep your man card.true story!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thegame Posted March 24, 2009 Report Share Posted March 24, 2009 You and every other male on earth kiss my ass, I am not listening to your problems and agreeing with you while sharing a relative experience anymore.o snap! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schmuckingham Posted March 24, 2009 Report Share Posted March 24, 2009 -10 points this is a system for ranking men by women... so by using this system your have admitted your a womano snap!Its on like donkey kong, barrels and all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OsuMj Posted March 24, 2009 Report Share Posted March 24, 2009 hilarious! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DangBruhY Posted March 24, 2009 Report Share Posted March 24, 2009 Awesome thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosmo Posted March 24, 2009 Report Share Posted March 24, 2009 rep for ya......sooooo funny and true... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomato_racing Posted March 25, 2009 Report Share Posted March 25, 2009 It's rare that the intrawebzzz makes me laugh out loud but this was hilarious! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thegame Posted March 25, 2009 Report Share Posted March 25, 2009 IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTHYou talk....................................................-100You don't talk...............................................-100You spend time with her.....................................-100You don't spend time with Her...............................-100You are seen enjoying yourself..............................-100ugh. had to go through this tonight. dont know how many points im under now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kawi kid Posted March 25, 2009 Report Share Posted March 25, 2009 ugh. had to go through this tonight. dont know how many points im under now. dont worry you are doomed no matter what Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchmuckGirl Posted March 25, 2009 Report Share Posted March 25, 2009 kiss my ass, I am not listening to your problems and agreeing with you while sharing a relative experience anymore.Relax there bucko. I was agreeing with the OP because it shows that women are clearly irrational at times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kawi kid Posted March 25, 2009 Report Share Posted March 25, 2009 Relax there bucko. I was agreeing with the OP because it shows that women are clearly irrational at times.jedi mind trick dont fall for it!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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