jblosser Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 <oldie, but funny>Computer: You have installed a new network card.Lucas: That is correct.Computer: It is a RealTek8026.Lucas: No, that is the card I just replaced.Computer: I am now looking for drivers for your RealTek8026.Lucas: You don't understand. I just removed the RealTek8026. I now have a DLink510.Computer: I have found a driver for your RealTek8026. Shall I install it?Lucas: But it's not a...fine, whatever makes you happy.Computer: I have updated the driver and will now restart.Lucas: Whatever.Computer: [restarts]Lucas: Get me myth5, please.Computer: I can't. Your RealTek8026 isn't behaving as it should.Lucas: Of course not, dumbass. Like I said, I have a DLink510.Computer: Check the Properties/Drivers menu on your hard drive icon.Lucas: Okay. Yes, I know that you think it's a RealTek8026, but...no, never mind. Remove that RealTek.Computer: Done. I will now reboot. [pause] I have found new hardware.Lucas: Yes. It is my DLink510.Computer: It is a RealTek8026. I am looking for drivers...Lucas: IT'S NOT A FUCKING REALTEK.Computer: I have found a driver. Shall I use it?Lucas: No. Use the driver on this disk.Computer: Okay. Ah, I see that this is a driver for a DLink510.Lucas: Indeed it is. That's what I have. The card you are looking at is a DLink510, not a RealTek8026. My old card was a RealTek8026, but I am now holding it up in front of you. See? Clearly, the card inside the computer is not a RealTek8026. Do you understand? Computer: Sure.Lucas: [attempts to log on and fails] Why isn't this working?Computer: Boy, you got me. I think your RealTek8026 is acting up.Lucas: What?Computer: Perhaps you put it in wrong or something.Lucas: Listen, asshole, I'm not going to say it again. I have a DLink. The driver I gave you is for a DLink. Look - see this device profile? It's for a DLink! You say so yourself! Computer: Do you want me to freeze up on you?Lucas: Don't you try to threaten me, you sack of shit.Computer: [freezes up]Lucas: [restarts] I dare you to do that again.Computer: [freezes up]Lucas: GOD DAMN [restarts] I'M GONNA SMASH YOUR FUCKING HEAD LIKE A DRY EGGSHELL.Computer: [amusedly] Hey, guess what I just detected! It's a RealTek8026!Lucas: Yeah, yeah, keep it up and see what it gets you.Lucas: [shuts down machine] [removes DLink card, noting that "DLink" is clearly written on the central chip] [restarts computer] Well, do you see any RealTek's now? Computer: RealTek? What's that?Lucas: If I do a search for RealTek, or rt, or 8026, I'm not going to find any bullshit files hidden in this pathetic, bloated OS, am I?Computer: Of course not.Lucas: [searches] [finds nothing] Excellent. Perhaps you were just confused.Computer: Hm. Could be.Lucas: [shuts down] [reinserts DLink510] [restarts]Computer: I have located some new hardware. It is a RealTek8026. I am now searching...Lucas: DAMN YOU TO HELL.Computer: ...for drivers for this device. Look, I've found three. Which shall I choose from?Lucas: This isn't funny, you filthy cocksucker. Tell you what: I'll switch my DLink to a different slot.Computer: What's a DLink? All I see is this RealTek8026. Shall I load up a driver for...Lucas: [shuts down] [swaps slots] [double-checks that "DLink" is written on this card and "RealTek" is written on the card lying on the floor] [restarts]Computer: I have found new hardware. It is a DLink510 Ethernet adapter.Lucas: Excellent! It certainly is!Computer: Ha ha, no, I was kidding. In fact it is a RealTek8026.Lucas: YOU FUCKING LOAD OF SHIT, WHY ARE DOING THIS TO ME?Computer: What? I can't hear you. I'm all frozen up! [freezes up]Lucas: [restarts] Man. A $1700 piece of crap. I could buy crap for $5 a bag back in Illinois, but here in California it goes for $1700. Computer: Glory be, what is this that I detect? It appears to be a RealTek8026! A fine company, that RealTek. Shall I show you the wide array of drivers available for your RealTek8026?Lucas: Fuck you. [goes to bed] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cdubyah Posted January 4, 2010 Report Share Posted January 4, 2010 HAHAHA too funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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