4 Insane Things Nobody Tells You About Riding a Motorcycle Read more: 4 Insane Thing

[ScubaCinci]

Funny yet insightful

http://www.z1000forum.com/forum/kawasaki-z1000-general-discussion/120297-4-insane-things-nobody-tells-you-about-riding-motorcycle.html#post1655386

...I don't know if it's something in the perceived image that mounting a slightly narrower than normal vehicle makes you more of a man, or a tough guy, or a reckless daredevil, but traffic hates motorcycles. Not only hates them, but possesses a rage so intense that murder is the only solution. Other drivers will tailgate the crap out of you, regardless of your speed, and that's kind of a bigger deal when, y'know, you don't have a tail or a gate. So there's a several-ton steel box traveling more than fast enough to crush you to death in a nanosecond, and its operator has decided that his safe stopping distance is "up your asshole." And there's no way to make him back off, either. He's comfortable there, inside your asshole; he shows no signs of moving. He's going to make a life up in your colon -- hell, he's already planting a garden and having his mail forwarded there, so you better get used to him...

Edited May 24, 2012 by ScubaCinci

[TheBrown57]

So while you may look like this

You feel like this:

True!

[Jst2fst]

Not bad "It's kinda like riding a bicycle... off a cliff" lovin this

[ReconRat]

Excellent

[granda080]

Very funny...sadly probably a lot of truth in that

[magley64]

Well, there is something you can do about it, and that's how I got my favorite officer encounter story of all time.

I was riding up rt 46, and this car climbs right up my tailpipe, passing zones I gradually slowed, and non passing zones i sped up.. after 3 clear passing zones i decided that this guy was no longer welcome, as soon as I hit the on ramp for the freeway, I opened her up, and wound her out, 2nd gear, 3rd gear, 4th gear just as i was shifting to 5th gear, I see this blue flash off to my right.

Roll off the throttle and check my mirrors to confirm my suspicion, there was indeed a highway patrolman headed my direction with his lights and sirens running. I quickly pull over and stop, remove my helmet as the officer pulls up behind me and approaches the bike.

He asks me "do you know how fast you were going?"

I reply "no officer, I wasn't really paying attention to the speedometer to be honest"

He says "you were going FAST. I don't have you locked on radar, so my options are reckless op ticket or a warning"

I say "I understand, sir" as I nod in agreement.

He asked me why i was in such a hurry, and I explained the 10 minutes prior to the freeway. He seemed to like my bike well enough, and told me to slow down. he then went back to his car, and shut off the lights. I put my hemet on, waved, and continued up the freeway.

I don't get pulled over every time I dust some moron who is tailgating, but that is one of my favorite LEO encounters ever.

[scottb]

"planting a garden and forwarding the mail"............. Great line there

[buildit]

If you get really scared just shit yourself and then throw it on their windshield.

[redbarron77]

"Margaret, come look! The Rectal Daisies are coming in! Truly, we are blessed with the bounty of this asshole."

That was soooo wrong, but so very applicable!

[CoolWhip]

If you get really scared just shit yourself and then throw it on their windshield.

I lol'd at my desk. People are looking at me funny.

[redbarron77]

If you get really scared just shit yourself and then throw it on their windshield.

I recently related this story to some riders at work, so this reference makes it appropriate....

***WARNING***

The content in this story is NOT a recommendation to do anything resembling these acts. Performing these kinds of activities will probably result in Jail, civil actions, and possibly death.

***End of Warning***

Anyways....Back in the late 60's, my Dad and Uncle both were avid motorcyclists, and out in the wilds of Arizona, car drivers were less than friendly to those on two wheels. Tailgating, "brushing" off the road, etc, were pretty common events. Soooo, the man who spawned me, and his little brother(my uncle for those not paying attention) came up with a plan.

See, they had a nice collection of small .22 pistols, and kept them in their jacket pockets...just in case of the occasional rattle snake, wild dog, or tail-gator....yep! They laughingly told me of all the times they'd just slide sideways in the seat and just shoot out the radiator of the people who would "get too close"......

They stopped doing it after they stepped up to using a .38 to "make the mad ones stop faster"....

And my Dad wonders where I come up with some of my hair-brained ideas.