ohiomike Posted October 11, 2012 Report Share Posted October 11, 2012 hope this isn't a repost.....Dear Wife,I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.Your EX-HusbandP.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!Dear Ex-HusbandNothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
namtugeoj Posted October 11, 2012 Report Share Posted October 11, 2012 Funny Shit........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jester3681 Posted October 11, 2012 Report Share Posted October 11, 2012 Good chuckle to start the morning... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ohiomike Posted October 11, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 11, 2012 Yep, with all the political bs swirling around us right about now I thought I'd share this.....we all need a good laugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reimbrandt Posted October 11, 2012 Report Share Posted October 11, 2012 Doh!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbot Posted October 11, 2012 Report Share Posted October 11, 2012 some buzzkill assclown is going to come in here and say "this letter is so dumb, he'd still get the money! gosh!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.