I used to smoke for several years. I don't smoke anymore. Therefore, I have experience in both being a smoker as well as a non-smoker. I think that qualifies me as much as anyone else to assert the following opinions:
- Smoke smells fucking terrible, and it makes you stink. If you smoke, you probably don't notice how much you smell like shit because your olfactory bulbs are smothered in soot. Believe me, you fucking reek. This is a great reason why you shouldn't be allowed to smoke anywhere inside - because you stink. Go be stinky somewhere else, Sergeant Stinks.
- You don't need to fucking smoke inside, anywhere. No, don't even fucking try to say you do. There's not a worthwhile fucking argument amongst all of your stupid non-arguments as to why you need to light up inside some restaurant or arena or stadium or club. If you're unfortunate to be addicted to nicotine and must smoke, then walk your addicted ass outside somewhere and have at it.
- If you are are bar that allows people to smoke in it (e.g., Zeno's in Victorian Village), and you go to that bar, you've automatically lost any right to bitch about smoking or smelling like smoke. Seriously, it's going to smell like smoke because people fucking smoke there. So, no, whiner, you can't complain about smelling like smoke after you went to a bar where people smoke. Why? Because you're a whiny idiot.
- If you smoke and you throw cigarettes out the window, then you should be ticketed for stupidity and laziness. Yes, two tickets - one for being stupid enough to break the law (i.e., litter) and another ticket for being fucking lazy. Yeah, I know, you don't want to put your cigarette out in your car because it gets ashes everywhere and smells foul. Too bad, you lazy fuck - quit smoking if you don't want to have to worry about putting cigarettes out in your car. Guess what I don't have to worry about? Discarding needles once I'm done shooting up heroin. Why? Because I don't do fucking heroin.
- If you smoke while you eat, then you are beyond fucking hope. There is no excuse for such a ridiculous display of grossness. If you read this and this describes you, then the rest of us are hoping you somehow die before reading the rest of this and save us the utter disgust that accompanies each and every sickening display of your inability to stop smoking long enough to stuff your mouth with gravy-covered meatloaf.