She's been on the verge of suicide for awhile now. This thread, no matter how she chooses to deny it, is the glue keeping the tattered shards of her life together. She's scared, not quite sure how to deal with even the simplest trials and tribulations of mundane, everyday existence. There's something greater out there for her, she knows that, but she's furious that she doesn't quite know how to reach it; it seems mortally unattainable.