So it was Texas. I edited it a little.
As you enter Circleville, the following list of rules applies to each person. Read 'em, Learn 'em...remember 'em!
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1. Pull your saggin' pants up. You look like an idiot.
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2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road", and I drive a truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
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3. They are pigs, cattle and oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? SR-22 east and west, SR-23 goes north and south. Pick one.
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4. So you have a $ 60,000 car. We're impressed. We have quarter-million dollar corn stalk strippers that we drive 3 weeks a year.
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5. So every person in every truck waves. It's called being friendly.
Try to understand the concept.
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6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of deer are coming in, we
WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to
your ear at the time.
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7. Yeah, we eat catfish and crawdads. You really want sushi and caviar?
It's available at the Harguss Lake bait shop.
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8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
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9. We open doors for women. That is applied to everyone, regardless of
age.
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10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu at Reno's. Order steak or you
can order the Chef's salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.
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11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meat,
vegetables and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper and Pace
Picante Sauce.
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12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served
over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know
how to shoot, drive a truck and have long hair.
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13. High school football is as important here as the Lakers and the
Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
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14. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit the water hazards - it spooks
the fish.
EDIT: damn. wrong forum! can someone move it to the parking lot for me?
