Phil, it appears that you have some deeply rooted emotional issues that you need to deal with and you cover them up by imposing your own personal on others and trying to vicariously solve them through other people. Its ok Phil we understand that this cant be easy for you but we want you know that we are here for you and we will continue to laugh at your jokes even though they arent funny and go along with your acquisitions of homosexuality because we know that is your way of working through this.
So what was it Phil? Did the big man touch you in your no no place as a child. Did uncle play doctor with you too many times? Its ok Phil, you do have to hide it any more.