Kingdom of Heaven

[Guest Crankshaft]

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Where to begin? On a purely entertaining value, I'd give the movie 6/10, or put it exactly on par with Troy. You didn't become attached to the characters whatsoever, and it made little difference whether they lived or died (except for the pain of having to get to know another character after they died).

 

Brief summary for those who don't know (no spoilers:)

 

Balian of Ibelin, a blacksmith, is mourning the loss of his wife. Upon a chance meeting with his father, he decides to accompany him to Jerusalem to attone for his own sins and for his wife's. He assumes the title of baron of his father's estates upon arrival, and sets about making things better. All would go well, save for a troublesome Reynald de Chatillon and Guy de Lusignan, who are power crazed lunatics hungry for war. The good, but leporasy ridden king is in no state to fend them off, and upon his death, the throne goes to Guy de Lusignan, who is made king by his marriage to Princess Sibylla, sister of Baldwin IV (the lepor king). Sibylla hates Guy, but is forced into marriage by her mother. Guy invites a war with Saladin by provoking him, along with the help of Reynald. Saladin pushes him back, and arrives at the walls of Jerusalem, where the final battle of the movie takes place and Balian is forced to take charge.

 

What I found to be most wrong with this movie was its tremendous historical innacuracies. Spoilers are ahead; beware. Even if you aren't into historical accuracy or details, I recommend that you read this if you've seen the movie or are planning on seeing it, just so you don't pick up any 'history' from the film.

 

First off, Balian was only a minor figurehead in actuality. Although he did play a role at the end, his position was not nearly as monumental as they portrayed it to be.

 

And Reynald, although as cowardly and avaricious in reality as in the movie, had no such power over the Knights Templar or Guy de Lusignan as he did in the movie. He was just a fool eager for wealth and his own prosperity. His role in the movie more resembles the Grand Master of the Templars at the time, Gerard de Ridfort (not in movie).

 

Guy, far from being the tyrant and fiend as seen in the movie, was actually a timid, cowardly man. He was spurned on by Gerard, who constantly told him to do the opposite of whatever Raymond of Tripoli advised. Gerard and Raymond were bitter enemies, but Gerard caused far more damage in the course of history than did Raymond (who is also not seen in the movie). It was Gerard who in reality convinced Guy to move out into the scorching heat of the desert, away from their water supplies, not Reynald or Guy. Guy didn't want to, but Gerard convinced him that Raymond was plotting against him. In Guy's first military command, he met with Saladin at the Jordan river. Saladin tried to get him to fight, but Guy wouldn't, so Saladin finally left, and Guy pulled his troops back to Jerusalem. Many people called him a coward for this; but really, he just didn't like to fight. Completely opposite of how he is seen in the movie.

 

Oh, and Tiberias didn't even exist. Period.

 

And Balian and Sibylla, far from being lovers, never even knew eachother. Sibylla wasn't forced into marriage by her mother at all. In fact, although her mother, Lady Agnes de Courtenay, did plot with Amalric de Lusignan to bring Amalric's younger brother Guy to marry Sibylla, when she met Guy, she fell in love with him and vowed that he was the only man on earth she would marry. They did marry, and they were very happy. Nothing like in the movie.

 

And there was no battle outside of Kerak. Saladin did capture Kerak, but after taking Jerusalem, and not by force. The inhabitants were starved out; no one was killed.

 

Also, in that same scene, we see hundreds of thousands of Templar Knights massing outside Kerak to attack Saladin's army. In the entire two hundred years of the Crusades, there were never more than a thousand Templar Knights in the entire Middle East, let alone 200,000. They were an extremely well trained and expensive force; the logistics of an army of Templars that large is incomprehensible.

 

Near the beginning, we also see two Templar Knights being hung for supposed crimes. First, the Templar Knights, were, in fact, a very honorable institution. There were never, to my knowledge, ever reported an incident where a Templar Knight acted in such a way as that. Secondly, no one on earth would dare to hang a Templar Knight--they were under the direct protection of the Pope. In fact, when one bishop excommunicated the Knights Templar without the permission of the Pope, he was relieved of all religious duties and exiled from the church. The Templars were the Pope's personal army; no one could touch them. They were above all laws of man.

 

Also concerning the Templars, they are portrayed as angry, violent, hateful people who have the sole intention of killing muslims. This isn't true at all. In fact, one Muslim, Usama of Shaizar, recorded in his diary the following passage about the courtesy of the Templars:

 

"WHen I was in Jerusalem I would go to the Mosque al-Aqsa, beside which there is a small oratory which the Franks have made into a church. Whenever I went into th emosque, which was in the hands of the Knigts Templar, who were friends of mine, they would put the little oratory at my disposal so that I could say my prayers there. One day I had gone in, said the Allahu Akbar and risen to begin my prayers, when a Frank threw himself on me from behind, lifted me up and turned me so that I was facing east. 'That's the way to pray,' he said. Some Templars at once intervened, seized the man and took him out of my way. But they moment they stopped watching him he seized me again and forced me to face east, repeating that this was the way to pray. Against the Templars intervened and took him away. They apologized to me and said, "He is a foreigner who has just arrived today, and he has never seen anyone pray facing any direction other than east.' 'I have finished my prayers,' I said, and left, stupefied by the fanatic."

 

And finally, the debacle to end it all, there was no attack on Jerusalem!! Saladin led no army of 200,000 men (he never even had an army that large, or anywhere near that large), and Balian never defended the city. In fact, far from his role as the heroic defender of Jerusalem, he handed the city over to Saladin before any fighting even began. Although the scene where Balian knights those men is true, it did him no good. The patriarch of Jerusalem was right--knighting men doesn't make them better fighters. And besides, when word spread that Saladin was coming for Jerusalem, people from all over the land and from conquered castles began to flee to the city for protection. With all those women and children, plus inexperienced men, the demand on supplies of food and water were too great to hold out. So Balian just surrendered the city without a fight.

 

It would have been just as easy to make a movie that was accurate, as well as entertaining. Or, make a totally fake movie and don't even try to pretend it's in any way accurate, like Gladiator. Sorry, Sir Ridley Scott, but you fucked this one up big time.

[OGRE]

you can find the same such historical liberties taken in braveheart, or any "historical" hollywood movie. it needs to hav a love intrest to make it remotely interesting to chicks.

[cNeutron]

umm Troy was really good.....and i wanna see this even though i think Orlando Bloom is annoying.

[Dr. Pomade]

Orlando Bloom is an elf and a good archer. How dare you say bad things about him.

[Devils Advocate]

Orlando bloom is the worst actor ever.

[Mowgli1647545497]

Good writeup Folkvang.

 

But you need to relabel that - its full of spoilers. As you refuted the innacuracies, I now know pretty much everything thats going to happen in the movie, at least at a high level. Still a good writeup, but you should put a spoiler tag on the top.

 

Now, having said that - did you actually expect that in a movie thats made about european knights + another (any other) culture that anything good or accurate will be said about the europeans?

 

Won't happen.

 

At least not until a prominent arab or other middle eastern director gets a crack at it.

If its a european director it'll be full of self loathing and will raise whatever other culture/religion/peoples is in it up on a high pedestal. If its an asian director they'll, well they'll turn Musketeers into Kung Fu fighters.

We're going to have to wait quite a bit for a good movie about european knights.

 

[ 09. May 2005, 09:46 AM: Message edited by: Mowgli ]

[Guest Crankshaft]

Originally posted by Dr. Z06:

Orlando Bloom is an elf and a good archer. How dare you say bad things about him.

<font color ="midnightblue"> I don't believe I said anything about Orlando Bloom? Saying a movie is bad doesn't necessarily reflect on the actors; they can only say what lines the director gives them.

 

That said, although I liked Legolas, I think Orlando Bloom is an ineffectual wimp. tongue.gif

 

 

And you're definintely right, Mowgli. There's something about being proud of being European and of being white that just doesn't sit well with most anyone these days. I'm not sure what can change this, but it really pisses me off. And, for the record, I did say the second part had spoilers. Read again.

[Dr. Pomade]

Garrett, I was being fascitious.

[Guest Crankshaft]

<font color ="midnightblue"> facetious > me

It makes sense now. Thanks John

[Crash1647545504]

History vs. Hollywood is a good show to watch on the History Channel. They just did an episode on "Kingdom of Heaven."

[Dr. Pomade]

Originally posted by Folkvang:

<font color ="midnightblue"> facetious > me

It makes sense now. Thanks John

Is that how you spell facetious?

 

Spelling owns me.

[Guest DagoRcR]

Yep.

 

Completely agree.

 

You have too much time on your hands damnit. When are you coming back from school?

[Guest Crankshaft]

Originally posted by Dago RcR:

Yep.

 

Completely agree.

 

You have too much time on your hands damnit. When are you coming back from school?

<font color ="midnightblue"> Already am home man! I gave you a call earlier today. Got home friday- first fifteen minutes driving home I hit another car. You get out today, don't you?

[Guest DagoRcR]

i'm not out till friday morn. :-/

 

 

Got the saab a few weeks ago. It's really nice.

 

 

You hit some one? Jeebus, you know you have to stop masturbating while driving. I'll talk to you later this week, but for now I am in over my head in tests.

 

peace

[89Z24]

you might as well give up going to the movie theater if u wanna learn anything history related