Guest Ranger_Man Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 For three hours now there has been this red Cardinal that has taken fancy to ramming itself into my window constantly. I, being the good little boy that I am, have just been sitting here trying to play Gran Tourismo 4. However, that god damn bird has been chirping (fine with me) and ramming itself into my window (not fine with me). At first I was Ok with the bird. I sat there and said, "It is just a stupid bird, it has to go away sooner or later." Quoth the Cardinal, "Nevermore." So I sat here wondering what this bird wanted in my chamber since I had no bird seed or treats for it. I started trying to do things to make it go away. I opened the window and yelled at the bird. "GOD DAMN BIRD! GO AWAY!" Did that make it flutter off? Quoth the Cardinal, "Nevermore." I left the window open and stationed Mr. Kitty there. Mr Kitty made odd noises at the bird that sounded something like, "Click, click, meow." Did that make it vanish from the tree outside? Quoth the Cardinal, "Nevermore." I thought, maybe it thinks it can fly through my house since it can't see the glass. I said, "I shall put this blanket over the window to show the bird that it is solid and then it will flee from the premises." Quoth the Cardinal, "Nevermore." Having failed all other measures so far I finally decided to take matters towards the violent side. I went to the garage and grabbed a piece of wood and heaved it at the Cardinal. It came close, but I am not baseball player and was just off target. However, the Cardinal flew off in a frenzy and I thought to myself, "That surely made the Cardinal leave me alone." Quoth the Cardinal, "Nevermore." That little son of a bitch came back and hell came with him. He attacked my window with a new ferocity that scared even the cats whom had taken audience within the room. This was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. The lines had been drawn and war was officially declared by at least one party involved. Out came the gun, a Diana MOD.36 pellet gun to be precise and the ammunition was Daisy .177 caliber pointed field pellets. The ammo capsule said, "Read WARNING on back." Quoth the Aaron, "Nevermore." I took out the screen, loaded the gun and waited. Waited and waited what seemed like forever. Like a flash he came back and as soon as he saw me waiting he flew off. Quoth the Cardinal, "Nevermore." As I sat there waiting, waiting in my chamber chair, I thought to myself, "What about the houses across the street?" "That is right." I said, "I would not want to accidentally shoot out a window of a neighbor as they did nothing wrong, yet." Then, like a bolt of lightning, it hit me. The balcony, hereby referred to as The Grassy Knoll, would be the premiere spot to be. From that vantage point I could get a good shot off without risk of hitting anything with any monetary value. So I closed the window of the Texas School Book Depository, better known as my game room window, and proceeded to take up position on the Grassy Knoll. It was there that I waited for my enemy to resume his attack. The Cardinal returned and he instantly spotted me but he honestly had no idea what was about to happen. I stood, took aim, and followed his movements. I had to wait for the perfect shot, the one that would allow me to shoot and not hit anything else besides the bird. The Cardinal hopped from branch to branch not resting anywhere. I was 15 yards away but could clearly see every detail, right down to his beady eyes of hatred. Focus, Aaron, focus. Do not lose sight of the goal. The Cardinal stopped on a branch that could not have benefited me anymore. I had a complete view of the bird in question and he sat there chirping, almost mocking me in his glory of disrupting my morning. "It is now or never." I thought to myself. I peered down the sight. My hands, sweaty from anticipation, were making it hard to hold a steady aim. I waited. I fired. The Cardinal, the enemy, the one whom I hated, let out a piercing squawk and plummeted to the ground. Quoth the Aaron, "Nevermore." I went to investigate and when I got underneath the tree the Cardinal was gone. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a hindered movement; a movement of an animal in trouble. It was him, the Cardinal. He was not dead but was most definitely mortally wounded. Blood. Everywhere there was blood. It was clear that I had struck him in his abdomen and had hit something very vital. A sadness over came me. The Cardinal knew no better, he was just being a dumb bird. I thought, "Well, it is too late to do anything now." And as I finished the thought the Cardinal stopped moving. Forever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest doggunracing Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 Geez Aaron, couldn't find any schoolgirls or grandmas to pick on? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
excell Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 Well, that was entertaining. smile.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ranger_Man Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 Originally posted by doggunracing: Geez Aaron, couldn't find any schoolgirls or grandmas to pick on? If they had been ramming my window, I would have shot them too. I am an equal partisan shooter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GSRchick714 Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 wow.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skinner Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 very enteraining, but i think the heat sown there is getting to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ranger_Man Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 Originally posted by Great Googley Moogley: very enteraining, but i think the heat sown there is getting to you. I think the cold is getting to you and messing up your Engrish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buck531 Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 You are going to hell for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ranger_Man Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 Originally posted by Buck531: You are going to hell for that. Shawn, you and I both know that I was going to hell long before I shot that stupid bird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skinner Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 Originally posted by Beer Guy: I think the cold is getting to you and messing up your Engrish.redface.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lustalbert Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 interesting reading. now go drink some more beer and make a review Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buck531 Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 Originally posted by Beer Guy: Shawn, you and I both know that I was going to hell long before I shot that stupid bird. Yeah.. good point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ranger_Man Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 Originally posted by Lustalbert (more used cars than CR): interesting reading. now go drink some more beer and make a review I'm trying to polish off the rest of that meade. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devils Advocate Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 You're a special dandy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Casper Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 that was funny as hell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokin5s Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 nice story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mensan Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 Cool story, well written. Also, it is ILLEGAL. Just thought you should know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Pomade Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 MURDERER. smile.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bgbdbn Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 Good shot. graemlins/thumb.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ranger_Man Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 Originally posted by Mensan: Cool story, well written. Also, it is ILLEGAL. Just thought you should know. Since when are fictional works illegal? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex1647545498 Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 Nice story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brandon Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 same thing happened at my home, execpt the cardinal would come eveymornign for and hour and pound on my window. It did this for the whole summer, until i shot it dead as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lustalbert Posted March 18, 2005 Report Share Posted March 18, 2005 shotting animals is fun. i prefer groundhog at distance though, more fun to watch thier carcas shater and fly from a high power rifle round. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedRocket1647545505 Posted March 18, 2005 Report Share Posted March 18, 2005 Originally posted by Lustalbert (more used cars than CR): shotting animals is fun. i prefer groundhog at distance though, more fun to watch thier carcas shater and fly from a high power rifle round.www.dogbegone.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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