Chad is Dead Posted July 27, 2005 Report Share Posted July 27, 2005 "Honey, this is Daddy.....is your mommy near the phone?" "No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank" Brief pause. Daddy says: "But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, honey." "Yes I do. He's upstairs with Mommy now." Daddy says: " Honey, let's play a joke. Put down the phone, knock on the bedroom door, and tell Mommy that Daddy's home." " Okay, Daddy." A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. "I did What you said, Daddy." "And what happened?" "Well, Mommy jumped out of the bed, ran around screaming, then tripped over the rug and fell downstairs. She's not moving anymore." " I'm sorry honey. What about Uncle Frank?" " He jumped out the back window into the swimming pool...but he must have forgotten that last week you took out all the water for winter, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and he's not moving either." ***Long pause. *** Daddy asks, "Swimming pool?? Is this 597-7039?" "No." "Sorry. Wrong number." ................................................. One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen. "What's wrong dearest??" asked the confused husband. "Oh darling," sobbed the wife, "I was cleaning little Suzie's room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bedm, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do???" "Well," replied the man... "I guess a spanking is out of the question?" ......................................... A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says, "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?" The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times. "One day," he begins, "I was hunting when I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help and finally realized that it was coming from a frog sitting next to a stream." So I picked up the frog and it said, "Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you 3 wishes." So I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman. She said, "You now have 3 wishes." I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, "I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenneger." She nodded, whispered a spell, and POOF! there I was, so huge that I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there naked! She then asked, "What will be your second wish?" I looked hungrily at her beautiful body and replied, "I want to make sensuous love with you here by this stream." She nodded, laid down, and beckoned to me. "We then made love for hours!" Later, as we lay there next to each other, sweating from our glorious lovemaking, she whispered into my ear, "You know, you do have one more wish. What will it be?" I looked at her and replied, "How about a little head?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cougar1647545494 Posted July 27, 2005 Report Share Posted July 27, 2005 Awesome Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lustalbert Posted July 27, 2005 Report Share Posted July 27, 2005 graemlins/thumb.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bhobs Posted July 27, 2005 Report Share Posted July 27, 2005 funny stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morabu Posted July 27, 2005 Report Share Posted July 27, 2005 good shit, that 1st one had me almost falling out of my seat!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ttemper Posted July 27, 2005 Report Share Posted July 27, 2005 Why did god create yeast infections??? so women would know what its like to live with iritating cunt once in a while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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