JCBCPA Posted January 30, 2006 Report Share Posted January 30, 2006 Recent research shows that there are 5 kinds of sex: The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face. The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so horny you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen. The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom. The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "Fuck You". The 5th kind of sex is called: Courtroom Sex. This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone. Ooops. Don't forget Social Security Sex. You get a little each month, but not enough to live on! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrismindless Posted January 30, 2006 Report Share Posted January 30, 2006 true. very true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gt-titan Posted January 30, 2006 Report Share Posted January 30, 2006 that's good.+1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSXRAntwon Posted January 30, 2006 Report Share Posted January 30, 2006 Damn true! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justinwebb Posted January 30, 2006 Report Share Posted January 30, 2006 hahaha very funny and so true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackson1647545504 Posted January 30, 2006 Report Share Posted January 30, 2006 There are more kinds of not funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miller Posted January 30, 2006 Report Share Posted January 30, 2006 Niiiiiice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bhobs Posted January 31, 2006 Report Share Posted January 31, 2006 funny shit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wnaplay1647545503 Posted January 31, 2006 Report Share Posted January 31, 2006 LOUD SEX: A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell." "My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is." "The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!" QUIET SEX: Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?" She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!" CONFOUNDED SEX: A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for "small, $6,500 for "medium, $14,000 for "large." The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected. "Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor. The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen". WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX: A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - COLD As Ever." "Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone reads: "Here Lies My Husband - STIFF At Last." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan1647545506 Posted January 31, 2006 Report Share Posted January 31, 2006 she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone reads: "Here Lies My Husband - STIFF At Last." hahaha thats awesome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin R. Posted January 31, 2006 Report Share Posted January 31, 2006 It's not right to have a "5 Kinds of Sex" thread in the pics and vids section without any pics or vids. Funny shit none the less. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morabu Posted January 31, 2006 Report Share Posted January 31, 2006 good shit, i laughed out loud while reading it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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