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Help Wanted


nurkvinny

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Can you imagine anyone under 30 applying for a job like this?

 

HELP WANTED

 

Entry level position. Starts $8 per hour.

 

Primarily we clean roofs and gutters, power-wash and trim trees.

 

Looking for someone who is not allergic to sweat.

 

Must be able to work without a coffee cup in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

 

Must understand that it’s OK for the boss to make a profit.

 

Must understand company vehicles are not to be used for crash tests and are not receptacles for your personal trash.

 

Must own and know how to operate an alarm clock.

 

Must not request more days off than the boss.

 

Must not ask the boss for a raise if you’ve turned down overtime.

 

Must understand that opening day of fishing and hunting season are not considered automatic days off.

 

If you think it’s OK to be late to work, I’m sure you won’t mind if your paycheck is late also.

 

Having your wife or your girlfriend call for you about this job, does not demonstrate that you have good delegating skills.

 

If you’ve had more jobs than you can remember in the past year, don’t call to brag about how many trades you know.

 

If you take company tools and supplies home but never return them, do not apply.

 

If you like to work a couple of months and collect unemployment the rest of the year, do not apply.

 

If you only believe in taking a shower, dressing decent and brushing your teeth on the day you apply for this job, do not apply.

 

If most of your work experience is making license plates we are not authorized to make or sell them.

 

If you always seem so much smarter than the people you work for, start your own darned business.

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