Laws Of The Natural Universe

[NTHER91]

Law of Mechanical Repair:

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

 

Law of the Workshop:

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

 

Law of Probability:

The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

 

Law of the Telephone:

If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

 

Law of the Alibi:

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

 

Variation Law:

If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

 

Law of the Bath:

When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

 

Law of Close Encounters:

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with

 

Law of the Result:

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

 

Law of Biomechanics:

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

 

Law of the Theatre:

At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

 

Law of Coffee:

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

 

Murphy's Law of Lockers:

If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

 

Law of Rugs/Carpets:

The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

 

Law of Location:

No matter where you go, there you are.

 

Law of Logical Argument:

Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

 

Brown's Law:

If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

 

Oliver's Law:

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

 

Wilson's Law:

As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

[Trouble Maker]

Law of Logical Argument:

Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

 

Some of those are funny, but this one applies so well to here.