Jump to content

Man Test


SAMBUSA

Recommended Posts

MAN TEST

I've seen this before but never on here. I know of a few guys in the Toledo area that would fit every one of these......................:fruit:

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a

queer. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have

spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the

Oprah diet...Faggot.

2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer-- it

grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch

except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed. And just think about

how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here,

Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...'Bun-bun, come to daddy,

snookums!' Jeeezus, you're pitched, you're so queer.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such

nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ

ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet, or tits.

Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking

lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his

bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you're as camp as a row

of tents. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'.

If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there too.

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors or four different

types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be

handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his

brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you

know what a 'fressier' is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of

textile other than cotton or denim, you are poofter.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to

tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a

slow-ass driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he needs that

hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 53
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

No it doesn't!! One cat is canceled out by the dog. That makes me half gay!! I'm only half gay? Geez' date=' I can't even do that right!!

Asshat![/quote']

Half gay?? Does that mean you're bi? :D

BTW, there's no such thing as a bi-sexual guy. You smoke pole, you're gay. Period. ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't like this double standard bullshit. If a hot girl is bi' date=' it's sexy. If a fat, ugly girl is bi, she's a dike. If I happen to tickle a scrotum every now and again, I'm fucking gay? WTF!?!?[/quote']

Man I know what you mean, it's rediculous

One sheep, one time and now everywhere I go...:sheepfucker:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Man I know what you mean, it's rediculous

One sheep, one time and now everywhere I go...:sheepfucker:

:fruit: Mr. Michael's place......Where the men are men....And the sheep are SCARED!! hss.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...