ImUrOBGYN Posted November 16, 2007 Report Share Posted November 16, 2007 1. Furries Without the internet these people wouldn’t have found each other. There would be no such thing as defiling a bear costume for your own personal gratification outside of drunken amusement park workers and the odd serial killer. That shit like this even goes on in the world scares the shit out of me. From the normal folks to our kids who may be reading this someday: no, we will not understand… you will get your ass kicked six ways from Sunday if we catch you fucking your teddy bear. Just because our generation started it doesn’t mean we had anything to do with that shit. My god, I just realized this will be a part of the legacy we leave as the first internet dwellers. May history be kinder to us than we have been to it… 2. Nigerians Before the interwebz came along these people were a mere myth. We always heard about the guys in the jungles of Africa that would try to take us for every dime we had with fantastic stories of treasure, but none of us ever really believed it was true. The first email I got from one I was sure I was in for an experience akin to the “Choose Your Own Adventure” books of my childhood. Then, before I could answer, I got another one. Then I got two more. Then a fifth and sixth arrived. Now, I beat up homeless Nigerian men for kicks… 3. Chuck Norris Before the internet, Chuck Norris was just a washed up 80’s action film star who had recently resorted to infomercials. Now, all of a sudden he is a god, made so by those who didn’t even have to live through the crap he put out and called “films”. To those of us who know, he will always be the guy that Bruce Lee owned in a great cinematic performance and legendary ass whuppin all those years ago. There is a reason he hasn’t made a film in over a decade, and that reason is that he sucks… 4. MySpace “Hey, I know! Let’s let people with absolutely no idea what password security is have their own public web space! Every crappy band in the world can peddle their music and all the little girls can talk about how their lives suck. It will be all about friendship and hugs and emoness...” Fuck that. I got a better use for MySpace. It starts right next to the toilet and ends somewhere down in the sewer. And yes… I do have a MySpace page! And I hope it burns in hell! 5. WOW Spending a lot of time on the internet is one thing, but spending that time pretending to be a god damn elf running around fantasy land in a pair of pink tights is an entirely different set of mental instabilities. Getting married or having sex in WOW should be grounds for getting a fellow committed to a mental institution until he is better. If you are going to be addicted to a game (and we all will be at some point in our lives…) at least be addicted to one with a fucking point. 6. LimeWire LimeWire is a scourge on the file sharing community. It is the type of place you go to download a file entitled “Star Wars Episode 3” and after five hours of waiting end up with the fucking Paris Hilton scrogfest. That evil that was perpetrated upon me I wish upon no other human. As one commenter on ShoutWire recently said… “What has been seen cannot be unseen”. The shame caused in admitting just now that I seen that atrocity has caused me to have to take a shit before moving on to number seven… 7. Advertisements For as far as the eye can see there are god damn ads. Everywhere you go on the web someone is trying to sell you something. It’s like a huge fucking shopping mall sometimes. None of it is ever stuff you want to buy. Most of us have never even clicked on an ad. Where do these things lead? To an alternate dimension? Maybe to Jersey? Straight to the bowls of hell?!? The world may never know… 8. Cybersex It’s called masturbation. In the old days, we did the same thing with chicks over the phone and it sucked. Nothing has changed except we traded an actual voice for a few lines of text. It is still you that is touching your own cock. Don’t try to glorify it by referring to it as sex. “I was tapping that ass online!” No, you were spanking your monkey in your parent’s basement. That is not Sparta… not Sparta at all… 9. Ron Paul First of all, never trust a man with two first names. Secondly, this man was a gynecologist. He has been deep inside vaginas you and I have only seen rumors of on shady porn sites. Who would have known that all the campaigning you would ever need could be achieved by hiring hundreds of spammers and setting them loose on the web? Who needs campaign dollars when you have Nigerians... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotty2Hotty Posted November 16, 2007 Report Share Posted November 16, 2007 2. Nigerians Before the interwebz came along these people were a mere myth. We always heard about the guys in the jungles of Africa that would try to take us for every dime we had with fantastic stories of treasure, but none of us ever really believed it was true. The first email I got from one I was sure I was in for an experience akin to the “Choose Your Own Adventure” books of my childhood. Then, before I could answer, I got another one. Then I got two more. Then a fifth and sixth arrived. Now, I beat up homeless Nigerian men for kicks… :lol: That made my morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thorne Posted November 16, 2007 Report Share Posted November 16, 2007 ROFL @ all but ronpaul your just hatin cause he is IMUROBGYN and your just a AMATUREOBGYN Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BloodRed Posted November 16, 2007 Report Share Posted November 16, 2007 LOL That is great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drewhop Posted November 16, 2007 Report Share Posted November 16, 2007 very nice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hwilli1647545487 Posted November 17, 2007 Report Share Posted November 17, 2007 can I be your myspace friend.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Karacho1647545492 Posted November 17, 2007 Report Share Posted November 17, 2007 you forgot beasttube Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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