Top 10 interview mistakes

[MrMeanGreen]

These were reported during a survey taken earlier this year of what things will fail an interview for a new job:

 

• Candidate answered cell phone and asked the interviewer to leave her own office because it was a "private" conversation.

 

• Applicant told the interviewer he wouldn't be able to stay with the job long because he thought he might get an inheritance if his uncle died - and his uncle wasn't "looking too good."

 

• The job seeker asked the interviewer for a ride home after the interview.

 

• The applicant smelled his armpits on the way to the interview room.

 

• Candidate said she could not provide a writing sample because all of her writing had been for the CIA and it was "classified."

 

• Candidate told the interviewer he was fired for beating up his last boss.

 

• When the applicant was offered food before the interview, he declined saying he didn't want to line his stomach with grease before going out drinking.

 

• An applicant said she was a "people person" not a "numbers person" -- in her interview for an accounting position.

 

• During a phone interview the candidate flushed the toilet while talking to hiring manager.

 

• The applicant took out a hair brush and brushed her hair.

[schmuckingham]

damn i knew i should have waited to flush

[medium fast]

My supervisor said she had someone bring McDonalds in, and eat it during an interview here at Chase.

[Mensan]

Under Job Skills:

 

"Ability to endure racial hardships."

 

No joke.

[suffocateXfaster1647545505]

Looks like someones work day is really busy. How many new threads have been made today.. haha.

[sol740]

So whipping it out is still ok then ?

[87GT]

That's classified.

[RCode04]

My buddy used to manage a Convenient store. The Application asked how the applicant would get to work. The reply? "feet"

 

Office skills? " I can use a calculator"

[suffocateXfaster1647545505]

My buddy used to manage a Convenient store. The Application asked how the applicant would get to work. The reply? "feet"

 

Office skills? " I can use a calculator"

Please tell me he was hired on the spot.

[cptn janks]

NAME: Greg Bulmash

 

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

 

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

 

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

 

EDUCATION: Yes.

 

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

 

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

 

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

 

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

 

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

 

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

 

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

 

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

 

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

 

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

 

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

 

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

 

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas[/url] with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

 

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

 

SIGN HERE: Aries