rch10007 Posted October 13, 2008 Report Share Posted October 13, 2008 1. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian . 3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still. 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption. 5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work. 6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. 7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. 8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. 9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. 10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it. 12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.' 14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.' 16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.' 17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. 18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it. 19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. 20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. 21. A backward poet writes inverse. 22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes. 23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion. 24. Don't join dangerous cults: practice safe sects. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Jones Posted October 13, 2008 Report Share Posted October 13, 2008 zzzzzzzzzzz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rch10007 Posted October 13, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 13, 2008 zzzzzzzzzzz What's the matter? You don't know how to respond to posts that aren't inflammatory? Want me to add a porn pic or maybe one of Micheal Jackson rubbing a boy's penis would be more your speed? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotty2Hotty Posted October 13, 2008 Report Share Posted October 13, 2008 I'm still laughing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Jones Posted October 13, 2008 Report Share Posted October 13, 2008 What's the matter? You don't know how to respond to posts that aren't inflammatory? Want me to add a porn pic or maybe one of Micheal Jackson rubbing a boy's penis would be more your speed? See that was better.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
87GT Posted October 13, 2008 Report Share Posted October 13, 2008 ...Micheal Jackson rubbing a boy's penis would be more your speed? I double dare you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rch10007 Posted October 13, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 13, 2008 I double dare you! All of MJ's pics are on my other computer - you'll have to wait until tonight. And stop drooling for God's sakes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
87GT Posted October 13, 2008 Report Share Posted October 13, 2008 All of MJ's pics are on my other computer - you'll have to wait until tonight. And stop drooling for God's sakes! BOO what a cock tease. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rch10007 Posted October 13, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 13, 2008 BOO what a cock tease. Since you can't wait...which means you probably cum in like 4 seconds...here ya go, I found it for you: http://www.mediatakeout.com/photo/1174389434Michael_Boy.jpg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
87GT Posted October 13, 2008 Report Share Posted October 13, 2008 ^ | Ban Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wonderboy Posted October 13, 2008 Report Share Posted October 13, 2008 Thats some pretty clever stuff you got there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sol740 Posted October 13, 2008 Report Share Posted October 13, 2008 8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. Some mildy funny stuff ... ^ but that makes me want to punch babies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rch10007 Posted October 13, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 13, 2008 Sol - that reminds me off a Chuck norris saying: Everytime you masterbate, Chuck Norris punches a small Mexican baby. ...and then there's a few others: Behind Chuck Norris' beard, there is no chin. Only another fist. Every night the bogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris sleeps with a nightlite, not because he's afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is sueing the Bubble Tape company for stealing the tagline for his penis, "Six Feet Of Fun" Chuck Norris doesn't "read" books. He stares them down until he get the information he wants. Chuck Norris invented the ceserean section when he roundhouse kicked his way out of his mother's woum. The reason for Chuck Norris' red hair is because he soaks himself in the blood of his victims. Chuck Norris had the idea to can his sweat. This drink is now called Red Bull. Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits. Chuck Norris was once having sex in a trailer-tractor, and some of his sperm escaped into the engine. This trailer-tractor is now called Optimus Prime. This one time, at Band Camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist. Chuck Norris has no pubic hair, because hair doesn't grow on steel. Some people wear Superman pyjamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pyjamas. Chuck Norris invented water. If you have 5 dollars and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you. Chuck Norris doesn't use the Periodic Table, because he only reconizes the element of surprise. Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a "CTRL" button, because Chuck Norris is always in control. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris had allowed to live. Chuck Norris counted to infinity...twice. Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter. Chuck Norris doesn't shave, he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that cuts Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris. When taking the SAT, simply write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000. It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage. Chuck Norris doesn't "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror. Chuck Norris doesn't play God. Playing is for children. God said "Let there be light!" and Chuck Norris said "Say please." Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill. Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders. Ever. Ozzy Osborne bites the heads of bats. Chuck Norris bite the heads of Siberian Tigers. Some people pee their name into snow. Chuck Norris pees his name into concrete. Chuck Norris can taste lies. Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child, the bed wet itself out of fear. Chuck Norris had the job of a paperboy when he was a kid. There were no survivors. Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris refers to him as "a Promising Rookie." Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun. Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. He chews Tin Foil. Some people ask for a tissue when they sneeze. Chuck Norris asks for a bodybag. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris has his own line at the DMV. Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless you're Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face. Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting. "Sweating bullets" is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot. "Godzilla" is the Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.