Farkas Posted October 22, 2008 Report Share Posted October 22, 2008 I can't stop laughing at this thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenny Posted October 22, 2008 Report Share Posted October 22, 2008 Actually, no. I give a quick wipe down with a couple squares of tp to rid of any piss droplets and then I perform "the move" as I'm usually in a rush not to shit myself. Only a guy that drives a Mini would call taking a shit "the move". You need a fairy flag. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngryBMW Posted October 22, 2008 Report Share Posted October 22, 2008 Only a guy that drives a Mini would call taking a shit "the move". You need a fairy flag. You should photoshop it for him. -Marc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenny Posted October 22, 2008 Report Share Posted October 22, 2008 I'm far too lazy for all that shit. Plus I'm on my laptop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHaze Posted October 22, 2008 Report Share Posted October 22, 2008 "the move".. you hover? You seriously don't know what "the move" is? Than you're not a man. http://www.poopreport.com/Stories/Content/themove.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin R. Posted October 22, 2008 Report Share Posted October 22, 2008 You seriously don't know what "the move" is? Than you're not a man. http://www.poopreport.com/Stories/Content/themove.html Real men shit their pants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHaze Posted October 22, 2008 Report Share Posted October 22, 2008 Only a guy that drives a Mini would call taking a shit "the move". You need a fairy flag. It isn't simply taking a shit. You clearly do not understand the techniques needed to make stall-time more fluent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin R. Posted October 22, 2008 Report Share Posted October 22, 2008 You know what is the worst? It is about -20 degrees in my house right now and I have to shit. This equates to freezing toilet seat. Ruins the whole event. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImUrOBGYN Posted October 23, 2008 Report Share Posted October 23, 2008 You're right I'm hung like a light switch. Sometimes I even pee on my own balls HAHAHAA Omg, I think I did just pee a little. I just pull my pants all the way down to my ankels to prevent this. bwahahaa As soon as I read this I immediately visualized walking into a public restroom and seeing a grown man pissing like a 5yr old. I think I would laugh just as hard in real life. Aw man, there's just too many. THis thread is full of so much more win than any recent thread. Truly. And for the record, I wipe till there's nothing left on the paper and will even dampen some paper then wipe dry if I feel extra "dirty". Damn the forest. I'll even go in and wipe if I have sweaty ass for any reason. Aka Swamp ass. I'm also a bit OCD and a bit of a clean freak. I'll wipe my ass till it's sore. I also wipe down public toilet seats and then completely cover them in tp or use a cover, if available. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImUrOBGYN Posted October 23, 2008 Report Share Posted October 23, 2008 You know what is the worst? It is about -20 degrees in my house right now and I have to shit. This equates to freezing toilet seat. Ruins the whole event. This reminds me: My mother was so fucking cheap that she wouldn't run the heater in the winter at night. I would wake up to take a piss in the toilet and get splashback from a sheet of ice across the water. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Melanie Posted October 23, 2008 Report Share Posted October 23, 2008 You guys are all nuts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenny Posted October 23, 2008 Report Share Posted October 23, 2008 You don't even know the half of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Main3s Posted October 23, 2008 Report Share Posted October 23, 2008 If I'm at work and have to take a dump I wait till I'm prerry dogging. You know, when the shit is poken in and out of your hole. Anyway, this means that as soon as I hit the terlit seat I'm ready for launch. I don't call that "the move" but it works. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Main3s Posted October 23, 2008 Report Share Posted October 23, 2008 You seriously don't know what "the move" is? Than you're not a man. http://www.poopreport.com/Stories/Content/themove.html Oh, and did anyone else catch the guys name who wrote this..."Chip Brown" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenny Posted October 23, 2008 Report Share Posted October 23, 2008 I just now read about this so called "move", that is about as gay as driving a Mini. Why would I want to wait until the last minute? I seriously enjoy wasting as much time as possible on the shitter. Forcing myself to hold my turd in until the last minute causes two major problems with man law: 1. You're going to be in some discomfort because you're scared of taking a shit in public. 2. You're making the shit come out as quickly as possible, which is the exact opposite of what you should be doing. NOTHING is better than getting paid to take a nice, long, relaxing turd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceGhost Posted October 23, 2008 Report Share Posted October 23, 2008 NOTHING is better than getting paid to take a nice, long, relaxing turd. I disagree there Kenny, having sex while getting paid has got to be better. I've never been able to do that, but I have taken a shit on the clock. While it is good, I would hope getting a BJ at work or showin' some female your "Oh" face would be a bit better. Extra bonus points for you having a hot boss and being able to pull her hair from behind while you show her who the real boss is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenny Posted October 23, 2008 Report Share Posted October 23, 2008 Touche, sir. Touche. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rch10007 Posted October 23, 2008 Report Share Posted October 23, 2008 If I'm at work and have to take a dump I wait till I'm prerry dogging. You know, when the shit is poken in and out of your hole. Anyway, this means that as soon as I hit the terlit seat I'm ready for launch. I don't call that "the move" but it works. I just choked on my coffee. Damn it, that was hot... I usually tell my wife, "I have a brown bear peeking out of the woods, brb!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rch10007 Posted October 23, 2008 Report Share Posted October 23, 2008 I just now read about this so called "move", that is about as gay as driving a Mini. Why would I want to wait until the last minute? I seriously enjoy wasting as much time as possible on the shitter. Forcing myself to hold my turd in until the last minute causes two major problems with man law: 1. You're going to be in some discomfort because you're scared of taking a shit in public. 2. You're making the shit come out as quickly as possible, which is the exact opposite of what you should be doing. NOTHING is better than getting paid to take a nice, long, relaxing turd. You keeping wasting time on the seat and you're gonna love hemorrhoids! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Putty Posted October 23, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 23, 2008 I tried to sneak in a quick dump before one of my classes, so I went into one of the typical multi-stall campus restrooms. I was the only guy in there and so I claimed the handicapped unit as per standard-op. All was going well until I went for the toilet paper. It was one of the gigantic industrial-size rolls, like a foot across, in the clear plastic dispenser. Well, the cover was missing on this one, so when i unrolled a little bit of TP the whole roll fell out of the dispenser across my lap, onto the floor, and out of the stall far far far away. I was pretty stunned and furious, but decided to make a pants-down break for the TP now in the middle of the bathroom. Luckily nobody else came in mid-dash, and all was well in the world. Lesson: Always check TP status before taking care of business, and if necessary, unroll with care. LMAO! that's funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenny Posted October 23, 2008 Report Share Posted October 23, 2008 You keeping wasting time on the seat and you're gonna love hemorrhoids! I'm growing them for you, lover. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rch10007 Posted October 23, 2008 Report Share Posted October 23, 2008 I'm growing them for you, lover. They taste like marshmallows! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smokey Posted October 23, 2008 Report Share Posted October 23, 2008 since this seems like the correct thread.....I have to ask a long-time question I've had. How do blind people know when they're done wiping their asses? Do they just do a set number of times and play the odds? Can you train a seeing eye dog to help you out with that....like 1 bark for keep wiping 2 for you're done? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenny Posted October 23, 2008 Report Share Posted October 23, 2008 I have always wondered the same thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rch10007 Posted October 23, 2008 Report Share Posted October 23, 2008 since this seems like the correct thread.....I have to ask a long-time question I've had. How do blind people know when they're done wiping their asses? Do they just do a set number of times and play the odds? Can you train a seeing eye dog to help you out with that....like 1 bark for keep wiping 2 for you're done? Why do you think TP has lines and ripples? Wipe, read, repeat as necessary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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