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I hate when I wear khaki's...


Putty

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Actually, no. I give a quick wipe down with a couple squares of tp to rid of any piss droplets and then I perform "the move" as I'm usually in a rush not to shit myself.

 

Only a guy that drives a Mini would call taking a shit "the move".

 

You need a fairy flag.

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:lol::lol:

 

You're right I'm hung like a light switch. Sometimes I even pee on my own balls :(

 

HAHAHAA Omg, I think I did just pee a little. :D

 

 

I just pull my pants all the way down to my ankels to prevent this.

bwahahaa As soon as I read this I immediately visualized walking into a public restroom and seeing a grown man pissing like a 5yr old. I think I would laugh just as hard in real life.

 

Aw man, there's just too many. THis thread is full of so much more win than any recent thread. Truly. And for the record, I wipe till there's nothing left on the paper and will even dampen some paper then wipe dry if I feel extra "dirty". Damn the forest. I'll even go in and wipe if I have sweaty ass for any reason. Aka Swamp ass. I'm also a bit OCD and a bit of a clean freak. I'll wipe my ass till it's sore. :( I also wipe down public toilet seats and then completely cover them in tp or use a cover, if available.

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You know what is the worst? It is about -20 degrees in my house right now and I have to shit. This equates to freezing toilet seat. Ruins the whole event.

This reminds me:

 

My mother was so fucking cheap that she wouldn't run the heater in the winter at night. I would wake up to take a piss in the toilet and get splashback from a sheet of ice across the water. :mad:

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If I'm at work and have to take a dump I wait till I'm prerry dogging. You know, when the shit is poken in and out of your hole. Anyway, this means that as soon as I hit the terlit seat I'm ready for launch. I don't call that "the move" but it works.
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I just now read about this so called "move", that is about as gay as driving a Mini.

 

Why would I want to wait until the last minute? I seriously enjoy wasting as much time as possible on the shitter. Forcing myself to hold my turd in until the last minute causes two major problems with man law: 1. You're going to be in some discomfort because you're scared of taking a shit in public. 2. You're making the shit come out as quickly as possible, which is the exact opposite of what you should be doing. NOTHING is better than getting paid to take a nice, long, relaxing turd.

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NOTHING is better than getting paid to take a nice, long, relaxing turd.

 

I disagree there Kenny, having sex while getting paid has got to be better. I've never been able to do that, but I have taken a shit on the clock. While it is good, I would hope getting a BJ at work or showin' some female your "Oh" face would be a bit better. Extra bonus points for you having a hot boss and being able to pull her hair from behind while you show her who the real boss is. :D

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If I'm at work and have to take a dump I wait till I'm prerry dogging. You know, when the shit is poken in and out of your hole. Anyway, this means that as soon as I hit the terlit seat I'm ready for launch. I don't call that "the move" but it works.

 

I just choked on my coffee. Damn it, that was hot... I usually tell my wife, "I have a brown bear peeking out of the woods, brb!"

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I just now read about this so called "move", that is about as gay as driving a Mini.

 

Why would I want to wait until the last minute? I seriously enjoy wasting as much time as possible on the shitter. Forcing myself to hold my turd in until the last minute causes two major problems with man law: 1. You're going to be in some discomfort because you're scared of taking a shit in public. 2. You're making the shit come out as quickly as possible, which is the exact opposite of what you should be doing. NOTHING is better than getting paid to take a nice, long, relaxing turd.

 

You keeping wasting time on the seat and you're gonna love hemorrhoids!

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I tried to sneak in a quick dump before one of my classes, so I went into one of the typical multi-stall campus restrooms. I was the only guy in there and so I claimed the handicapped unit as per standard-op. All was going well until I went for the toilet paper. It was one of the gigantic industrial-size rolls, like a foot across, in the clear plastic dispenser. Well, the cover was missing on this one, so when i unrolled a little bit of TP the whole roll fell out of the dispenser across my lap, onto the floor, and out of the stall far far far away.

 

I was pretty stunned and furious, but decided to make a pants-down break for the TP now in the middle of the bathroom. Luckily nobody else came in mid-dash, and all was well in the world.

 

Lesson: Always check TP status before taking care of business, and if necessary, unroll with care.

 

 

LMAO! that's funny.

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since this seems like the correct thread.....I have to ask a long-time question I've had.

 

How do blind people know when they're done wiping their asses? Do they just do a set number of times and play the odds? Can you train a seeing eye dog to help you out with that....like 1 bark for keep wiping 2 for you're done?

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since this seems like the correct thread.....I have to ask a long-time question I've had.

 

How do blind people know when they're done wiping their asses? Do they just do a set number of times and play the odds? Can you train a seeing eye dog to help you out with that....like 1 bark for keep wiping 2 for you're done?

 

Why do you think TP has lines and ripples? Wipe, read, repeat as necessary.

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