Gergwheel1647545492 Posted February 2, 2009 Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 Got this in an email. Long but funny none the less. I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are e there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back Of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home. I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and then received an education. The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer—no chance. That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred To me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined. The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. A t that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have it suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back. Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head --almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts. The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the fire out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, an d their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that , when an animal -- like a horse--strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape. This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down. Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head. I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away. So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope so that they can be somewhat equal to the Prey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenny Posted February 2, 2009 Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 I ate some Bambi last night and it was good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gergwheel1647545492 Posted February 2, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 I ate some Bambi last night and it was good. Bet it wasn't corn fed Bambi though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benner Posted February 2, 2009 Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 Lol, I got a good laugh out of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timmy43016 Posted February 2, 2009 Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 ...you are a complete idiot...(no offense of course...) what in gods name would make you think that you could subdue a completely wild animal?? cows and such are already broken and wont fight to the death like a completely wild animal will...wow you are lucky that he didnt kill you because he completely kicked your ass. your lucky the truck was close by or we would be reading an obiturary of a delaware man found dead in a field ass raped by a deer...sometimes book smart people are lacking vital common sense. you might as well tried to jump on his back with a rag and some chloroform. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LJ Posted February 2, 2009 Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 ...you are a complete idiot...(no offense of course...) what in gods name would make you think that you could subdue a completely wild animal?? cows and such are already broken and wont fight to the death like a completely wild animal will...wow you are lucky that he didnt kill you because he completely kicked your ass. your lucky the truck was close by or we would be reading an obiturary of a delaware man found dead in a field ass raped by a deer...sometimes book smart people are lacking vital common sense. you might as well tried to jump on his back with a rag and some chloroform. Wait, who's the idiot? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenny Posted February 2, 2009 Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 Bet it wasn't corn fed Bambi though No, but the dude that killed Bambi sure as shit was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timmy43016 Posted February 2, 2009 Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 Wait, who's the idiot? ?? what...do my statements hold 0 validity?? if what i said was 100% inaccurate then i guess you can call me an idiot...otherwise the asshat who thought it was a good idea to tie a deer to his waste is...(again no offense i got a good laugh) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benner Posted February 2, 2009 Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 Seriously doubt it was a true story. If it was, why the hell didn't he just tie the other end of the rope to his truck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LJ Posted February 2, 2009 Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 ?? what...do my statements hold 0 validity?? if what i said was 100% inaccurate then i guess you can call me an idiot...otherwise the asshat who thought it was a good idea to tie a deer to his waste is...(again no offense i got a good laugh) 0 validity because it is a made up chain email story that I got 8 months ago Got this in an email. Long but funny none the less. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timmy43016 Posted February 2, 2009 Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 0 validity because it is a made up chain email story that I got 8 months ago so? made up story or not my comments are not incorrect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ODoyle Posted February 2, 2009 Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 Seriously doubt it was a true story. If it was, why the hell didn't he just tie the other end of the rope to his truck. And then drive the truck away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timmy43016 Posted February 2, 2009 Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 0 validity because it is a made up chain email story that I got 8 months ago besides...where in the post did it say anything about it being made up?? nowhere. you may have recieved it 8 months ago, but i have never seen this before. how about maybe stating this in a post before trying to call someone out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LJ Posted February 2, 2009 Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 besides...where in the post did it say anything about it being made up?? nowhere. you may have recieved it 8 months ago, but i have never seen this before. how about maybe stating this in a post before trying to call someone out. How about you are calling out someone who states at the very beginning Got this in an email. Long but funny none the less. Way to go Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timmy43016 Posted February 2, 2009 Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 How about you are calling out someone who states at the very beginning Way to go got this in an email does not say its a fake chain email. or that you got it 8 months ago... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tbutera2112 Posted February 2, 2009 Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 got this in an email does not say its a fake chain email. or that you got it 8 months ago... dont try to play it off... you misread and look like a idiot...dont bury yourself deeper your lucky the truck was close by or we would be reading an obiturary of a delaware man found dead in a field ass raped by a deer. where did it say this happened around here? oh thats right it didnt...guess you musta thought he was typing it about himself...:gtfo: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farkas Posted February 2, 2009 Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 Fail'd hard. http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c8/eightsixgts/2lwwqzdcb1.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImUrOBGYN Posted February 2, 2009 Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 I'm not sure what's funnier. The email (true or not) or timmy's ownage. BTW, Tim, it has nothing to do with your statement/opinions on the subject. If you haven't figure it out, yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timmy43016 Posted February 2, 2009 Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 no i will happily admit that i missed that first line. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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