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My Poker Story.


nurkvinny

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The time - this past Saturday.

 

The place - my house.

 

The event - last minute poker night organized by my wife.

 

The players - my wife, me, 3 friends, and 2 other couples.

 

First game was $20 buy-in. Things went reasonably smoothly. Some bad calls. Some bad cards. Ended up heads up for the $100 first prize. After an hour of heads-up, we split the money so everyone else could get back in for the second game.

 

The second game went down pretty much the same path as the first. Some good times, some good beer, some good snacks... the norm.

 

Then, IT happened.

 

Due to how we drew cards for positions, a buddy of mine was sitting to my immediate left. About 2 minutes before IT happened, he had put in a pinch of Skoal Straight. For those two minutes before IT happened, his rubbing at the poker table had gone mostly unnoticed. That is, until IT happened.

 

In no more time than it takes a top fueler to reach the 60' mark, my buddy accomplished all of the following:

 

1. Got a God-awful look on his face.

2. Tilted his head back about 6 inches.

3. While bringing his head back towards the table, tilted it directly towards me.

4. Shut his eyes...

 

and

 

5. Sneezed Skoal all the fuck over me, my chair, my floor, my wall.

 

and ran to the bathroom.

 

There is a 5 page story as to how it all got cleaned up, but that will be another day.

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Guest JCroz91
The time - this past Saturday.

 

The place - my house.

 

The event - last minute poker night organized by my wife.

 

The players - my wife, me, 3 friends, and 2 other couples.

 

First game was $20 buy-in. Things went reasonably smoothly. Some bad calls. Some bad cards. Ended up heads up for the $100 first prize. After an hour of heads-up, we split the money so everyone else could get back in for the second game.

 

The second game went down pretty much the same path as the first. Some good times, some good beer, some good snacks... the norm.

 

Then, IT happened.

 

Due to how we drew cards for positions, a buddy of mine was sitting to my immediate left. About 2 minutes before IT happened, he had put in a pinch of Skoal Straight. For those two minutes before IT happened, his rubbing at the poker table had gone mostly unnoticed. That is, until IT happened.

 

In no more time than it takes a top fueler to reach the 60' mark, my buddy accomplished all of the following:

 

1. Got a God-awful look on his face.

2. Tilted his head back about 6 inches.

3. While bringing his head back towards the table, tilted it directly towards me.

4. Shut his eyes...

 

and

 

5. Sneezed Skoal all the fuck over me, my chair, my floor, my wall.

 

and ran to the bathroom.

 

There is a 5 page story as to how it all got cleaned up, but that will be another day.

 

OMFG! LMAO hahahahaha that sucks. i would have made him give me his chips

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Ohh myyyy

20 throw down in my fist of rage

and the man to my left has folded down

well johnny doubled up with a royal flush

I had three jacks and a pair of nines

my mind is turning - just two shots more

there's not much left to play

well then dude walks in black hat on top

What a mop, I'm lucky

It wasn't a county cop

cause I'm just runnin out of time

 

Who's up for game two

what to do

my wallet's gettin thin

and I just lost my watch last night

well I gotta problem

just one answer

gotta throw it all down

and kiss it goodbye

Yeah!

 

That was a crazy game of poker

(That was a crazy game of poker)

I lost it all

(I lost it all)

but someday I'll be back again

And I, never to fold.

(never to fold)

 

Who's up for game three

I can barely see the bourbon drowning next to me

And I just lost it all

well there's a man sittin next to me

Red, with smiling eyes

It's funny

I don't have no money tonight

yeaaaaaaaahhhhhhh

 

That was a crazy game of poker

(That was a crazy game of poker)

I lost it all

(I lost it all)

but someday I'll be back again

And I, never to fold.

(never to fold)

 

Bop bop bop...

I say now skittleedat dat,

Well how bout that?

I'm coming out the front never coming out the back

 

And I walked into the bar yesterday

Cause I had something to do, something to say

And Johnny walked in right behind me and I didn't turn around

Til I heard the sound of his feet falling on the ground

I looked over my shoulder and I saw a clown

And I said what'cha doin' in the bar tonight.

 

So I said Johnny whatcha doing tonight?

He looked at me with a face full of fright

And I said, how bout a revolution?

And he said right.

I say of, you say a

I say revolution, and you say jah

I say of, you say a

I say revolution, and you say jah jah jah

Jahova!

 

And I said, what'cha looking at?

He hit me across the face with a bat

I grabbed my .45 and I said let's get out and go

So he opened the door and said do what you're here for

I said I'm wandering round the road four to four

And I said I been walking for about a thousand years.

 

And my feet are growing tired

My eyes a little wired

Don't know what to do unless I retire

And he just said let's play some crazy poker

 

So I said Johnny whatcha doing tonight?

He looked at me with a face full of fright

And I said, how bout a revolution?

And he said right.

I say of, you say a

I say revolution, and you say die

I say of, you say a

I say revolution, and you say die dah dah

Day day oh!

 

I said that, was the craziest game of poker that I ever saw

I said that, was the craziest game of poker that I ever saw

But I'm not gonna quit and I'm not gonna stop

Don't give a shit cause I got the drop

Johnny just got two eyes just like mine

And I'm feeling kinda funky, kinda fine

 

And I drank a bottle of whiskey, 'fore I came

Came to the bar to see what's the same

I saw my man named Johnny sittin' across the table from me

 

And to my left was a man, he had no chin

Didn't really think about starting to sin

The man to my right wasn't feeling kinda nice

He looked kinda mad and I felt bad

Beacuse I took his money last night it's kinda funny

But now I'm just struggling--

I need a honey-bunny.

I don't know what to say anymore

So I'm just gonna go out, anywho...

 

So I said Johnny whatcha doing tonight?

He looked at me with a face full of fright

And I said, how bout a revolution?

And he said right.

I say of, you say a

I say revolution, and you say jah

I say of, you say a

I say revolution, and you say jah

I say of, you say a

I say revolution, and you say jah

I say of, you say a

I say revolution, and you say jah jah jah jahova

javhova, is watching over me...

Day day oh!

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