SAMBUSA Posted February 21, 2009 Report Share Posted February 21, 2009 http://www.fmylife.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagr Posted February 21, 2009 Report Share Posted February 21, 2009 Nice find sam, this shit is great. haha.Today, I was looking down at my paper in class and my spanish teacher asked if I was sleeping or not. I'm Asian. My eyes were open. FMLToday, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FMLToday, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response: "Lucky you." FML Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kawi kid Posted February 21, 2009 Report Share Posted February 21, 2009 some days i feel i need to read this to make myself feel better Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
omgshesaboy Posted February 21, 2009 Report Share Posted February 21, 2009 lolol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fonzie Posted February 21, 2009 Report Share Posted February 21, 2009 Today, I realized that there are more framed pictures of my mom's dog than pictures of me around the house. FML Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
that dude Posted February 21, 2009 Report Share Posted February 21, 2009 nice site! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kawi kid Posted February 21, 2009 Report Share Posted February 21, 2009 fonz thats tru about my gf's step mom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
standout Posted February 22, 2009 Report Share Posted February 22, 2009 Today, I was watching a documentary on The World's Fattest Man. Half way through the show the reported started talking about his girlfriend. The Fattest Man in the world has a girlfriend. I'm 21 an have never had a girlfriend. FMLhahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goldie Posted February 22, 2009 Report Share Posted February 22, 2009 Some pretty funny stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SAMBUSA Posted February 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2009 "Today' date=' I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML"[/quote']True story? Maybe you should stick to what you do best Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OsuMj Posted February 22, 2009 Report Share Posted February 22, 2009 holy cow this stuff is funny!!! I do this kind of stuff sometimes... 'Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagr Posted February 22, 2009 Report Share Posted February 22, 2009 Ridiculous. Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FMLToday, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob (I don't normally do it because I have a fear of getting squirt in the eye). Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bite the wrong spot and get lemon juice shot right into my eye. FMLToday, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her exiting her room....my electric tothbrush in her hand. FMLToday, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InyaAzz Posted February 22, 2009 Report Share Posted February 22, 2009 This is great stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadMax33 Posted February 22, 2009 Report Share Posted February 22, 2009 The first time I remember my grandmother kissing me, she slipped me the tongue...FML Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wrillo Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered,"We are so gonna make pizza after this!" FML Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OsuMj Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 ^ Ok that's funny, you can't blame someone for being hungry... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SAMBUSA Posted July 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered,"We are so gonna make pizza after this!" FML Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbrjess0815 Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 Pizza is really good. I could go for some pizza right about now.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disclaimer Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 Weird, I could go for some sex about now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbrjess0815 Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 Yea i can go with out there... Loli'd rather have the pizza right now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChickOn2 Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 mmmm pizza.Or Chipotle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OsuMj Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 *mouth waters* chipotle... mmmm. about that quote up there though, if he was just enthusiastic about pizza he could have been tying it into a total good experience comment... ?? lol. I mean its better than something like, "I'm gonna call my mom after this." right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yotaman88210 Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend when I said "I wish all the weight I gained just went to my boobs." His reply was, "They'd be HUGE." FMLToday, I found out that by brother was selling pictures of me showering. For what? World of warcraft money. FMLToday, I found out that by brother was selling pictures of me showering. For what? World of warcraft money. FMLToday, my father pulled me aside right before heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your short's pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yotaman88210 Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 This is just horrible....Today, I received a random packet of papers in the mail by the state suing me for child support. I am 22 and still a virgin. FML Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yotaman88210 Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 I cant stop....Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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