Jizzle Juice Posted September 23, 2011 Report Share Posted September 23, 2011 HILARIOUS! BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER Dear Wife, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! —— Dear Ex-Husband Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem...!!! Priceless if it's real Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Posted September 23, 2011 Report Share Posted September 23, 2011 Can't be. Too many cliches addressed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reed44 Posted September 23, 2011 Report Share Posted September 23, 2011 haha thats awesome. I would have been salty about the 10 million Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forrest Gump 9 Posted September 23, 2011 Report Share Posted September 23, 2011 It's as real as a three dollar bill. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhett Posted September 23, 2011 Report Share Posted September 23, 2011 haha thats awesome. I would have been salty about the 10 million I would have killed a bitch :fuckyeah: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeffro Posted September 23, 2011 Report Share Posted September 23, 2011 l2copypastaproperly. funny tho Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jizzle Juice Posted September 23, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 23, 2011 l2copypastaproperly. funny tho STFU and hang with your 17 yr old Gf.... :gabe: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jizzle Juice Posted September 23, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 23, 2011 And it was copied from book of face! Chester Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ Posted September 23, 2011 Report Share Posted September 23, 2011 better divorce letter http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c80/CamaroAJ/letter.jpg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jizzle Juice Posted September 23, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 23, 2011 BWahahahahahahahahahaha. WINNING!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ Posted September 23, 2011 Report Share Posted September 23, 2011 BWahahahahahahahahahaha. WINNING!! cinnamon ring LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oh8sti Posted September 23, 2011 Report Share Posted September 23, 2011 The old mud trumpet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iwashmycar Posted September 23, 2011 Report Share Posted September 23, 2011 Haha. great letter. Would make more sense without a title on it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjrsplat Posted September 23, 2011 Report Share Posted September 23, 2011 better divorce letter http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c80/CamaroAJ/letter.jpg That letter wins this thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Green Bastard Posted September 23, 2011 Report Share Posted September 23, 2011 Gotta say to the guy who wrote that letter, you win at life Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skinner Posted September 23, 2011 Report Share Posted September 23, 2011 HILARIOUS! BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER Dear Wife, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! —— Dear Ex-Husband Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem...!!! Priceless if it's real they were still married when she won the lotto will still have to split it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Das Borgen Posted September 23, 2011 Report Share Posted September 23, 2011 they were still married when she won the lotto will still have to split it. is it wrong that was my 1st thought also? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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