Sturg1647545502 Posted October 19, 2011 Report Share Posted October 19, 2011 Seems legit http://www.borowitzreport.com/2011/10/19/pat-robertson-god-let-zoo-animals-escape-to-bite-gay-people/ ZANESVILLE, OH (The Borowitz Report) – As dozens of escaped exotic animals terrorized the town of Zanesville, Ohio, the Rev. Pat Robertson raised eyebrows today by saying that “God allowed those wild animals to escape because he wanted them to find gay people and bite them.” Rev. Robertson, who made his remark during a regular broadcast of his 700 Club television program, said that the Book of Revelation made explicit reference to “escaped lions, tigers and bears running around Ohio biting gay people” as a prelude to the Rapture. The televangelist also contradicted local officials who had warned Zanesville residents to remain indoors until the all the animals had been accounted for: “Really, those animals won’t bite you unless you’re gay.” The escaped wild animals immediately became a hot-button issue in the race for the Republican presidential nomination. At a campaign stop in South Carolina, Texas Gov. Rick Perry said, “If the authorities are putting innocent creatures to death, I’m for it.” And in Iowa, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn) told reporters, “We should ship those animals back either to the Congo or to Africa. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedRocket1647545505 Posted October 19, 2011 Report Share Posted October 19, 2011 I totally agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drewhop Posted October 19, 2011 Report Share Posted October 19, 2011 So no one got bit does that mean there are no gay people in Muskingum county? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verse Posted October 19, 2011 Report Share Posted October 19, 2011 And in Iowa, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn) told reporters, “We should ship those animals back either to the Congo or to Africa. lol Really? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crossle Posted October 19, 2011 Report Share Posted October 19, 2011 Awesome lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FourString Posted October 19, 2011 Report Share Posted October 19, 2011 I seriously just bust out laughing in class. HA! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Karacho1647545492 Posted October 19, 2011 Report Share Posted October 19, 2011 1) Borowitz is satire, for all you clowns who couldn't recognize it if it sat on your face. 2) that's fucking hilarious Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokinHawk1647545499 Posted October 20, 2011 Report Share Posted October 20, 2011 ya first i was like:yuno: then i was like :lolguy: i cracked up at this Really, those animals won’t bite you unless you’re gay:dumb: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CRed05 Posted October 20, 2011 Report Share Posted October 20, 2011 The amount of stupid in that article is overwhelming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImUrOBGYN Posted October 20, 2011 Report Share Posted October 20, 2011 Someone should call him Daniel and send him to the lions. I mean, if he's not gay his god will save him, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mowgli1647545497 Posted October 20, 2011 Report Share Posted October 20, 2011 annnnd... this 1) Borowitz is satire, for all you clowns who couldn't recognize it if it sat on your face. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
truckin Posted October 20, 2011 Report Share Posted October 20, 2011 Oh for Fuck sakes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miller Posted October 20, 2011 Report Share Posted October 20, 2011 annnnd... this I thank you both and raise a brow to the rest. fags Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImUrOBGYN Posted October 21, 2011 Report Share Posted October 21, 2011 I dont read Borrowitz, so I wouldn't know. Blame the OP. lol My joke still stands. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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