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Help me get my friend back on a bike after his friend recently was killed riding

bigpaul

By bigpaul,
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bigpaul Apprentice

bigpaul

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Last Saturday one of my friends lost his friend that was riding his CBR600RR. I didn't know the rider that was killed, but the rider was 21 who lost his life, and my friend just rode with him the day before.. He is really taking it hard! His friend went around a bend after stopping at a traffic light at a high rate of speed, and hit the guiderail. His leg was ripped off and his bike was in multiple pieces. At least he died instantly and didn't have any pain.

Heres the news link: http://www.wpxi.com/news/19218701/detail.html

I finally have a day off on Saturday, and asked if he wanted to go for a ride since hes always asking me to go ride. He said "I really don't have the desire to ride right now". This is totally not him, because every chance he gets to ride, he does... Granted some of the things he does when riding isn't the best thing to do while on the street (wheelies, stoppies, outragious rates of speed, ect).

I told him that because it will be with me (I'm not into all of that crap that he does), that we will just cruise. Not to sound like a jackoff or anything like that, but I hope in a way to that this is a wake up call to him, and my other friends to take it a bit easy, and it can happen to anyone no matter the age.

I'm just concerned that he will give up riding all together if he doesn't get on the bike again!!

How would you go about getting him back on his bike?

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SWing'R Grand Master

SWing'R

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I'm just concerned that he will give up riding all together if he doesn't get on the bike again!!

I think that would apply if he himself had wrecked but since it was someone he knew I think its just something he has to work thru on his own, when hes ready.

My wife dumped her scooter a week after getting her temps, and I made her get back on it the very next day, otherwise I felt she would not at all. But your friends situation is different.

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Catman Experienced

Catman

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Never push anyone to ride or learn to ride !!!

It's a huge risk , that everyone must weigh out for themselves ! How will you feel if his family is concerned and he quits riding and then you push him back into it and he gets killed too !!

There are alot of folks that don't EVEN belong on these things !! ( @ cent smiley goes here )

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f4isvt Veteran

f4isvt

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i lost a close friend of mine he was riding and some lady pulled out in front of him and he ended up going over the hood of her car. I took it hard and thought about giving up riding for a while. I thought about what if that had been me and my wife was left alone my mom and dad had to deal with it and so on. But the more I thought about it I decided that is not what my friend would have wanted. He would have wanted me to continue riding and being the person I was as if he was still here. I still remember him to this day and I dont take one trip on my bike where what happened to him does not cross my mind. I ride past his gravesite or where he wrecked and I still got goosebumps. I decided for me the best thing to do is to keep riding but to ride smart and always wear my gear.

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bigpaul Apprentice

bigpaul

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Thanks everyone for your input... Don't get me wrong, I'm not pushing him to ride at all... I only brought it up once when chatting with him on IM to see if he was interested in going... And when he said that, I was more shocked then anything..

I'm just a bit concerned about him not riding again from being spooked from this.... Whatever he decides to do tho, I'll support him!!

We both work in the same career field (EMS/Fire Dept), and I'm just glad that he wasn't on that call or this would be 10x worse then what it is!

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Fonzie Grand Master

Fonzie

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His friend just got ripped in peices. Give him time man. I know when I lost a friend last year I didnt have the desire to ride right away.

.....I still remember him to this day and I dont take one trip on my bike where what happened to him does not cross my mind.

It was 2 years ago Monday that we lost Jeff. IIRC, it was a week or 2 before I got back on the 'Bird again....And then it was a very short ride....and very "forced".....i.e, I didn't really enjoy it that time.

I'm still nervous/scared every time I get on the bike now."Am I being selfish? What if this is the last time I see the kids & wife? Did I give them all kisses & tell them I love them? If I'm that worried about all this.....Why am I going riding right now? Am I being selfish?"

2 years later, & that's still my thought process every time I climb on the bike & turn the key. Sounds crazy, I know....But it is what it is. Got the full court press from wife & mom when Jeff died.....Especially since I'd been lucky enough to walk away from my own a few years earlier.

I've come to decide it's not so much selfishness, as it is I can't stomach the thought of letting that fear make the decision for me. If I don't ride anymore, then I let the fear win. Maybe that battle within me though is selfish in itself. Too much pride &/or ego to give in to the fear

Edited by Fonzie
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mrmako777 Mentor

mrmako777

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When jerm wrecked last week, it made me really consider how I ride. I've seen a lot of wrecks in less than a year, but none where someone got injured and taken away in an ambulance. I've always been a cautious rider, and for me his wreck was a reminder. Having some fear I think is healthy. Let the guy take his time, he will get back on the bike when he's ready

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bigpaul Apprentice

bigpaul

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The report said "high rate of speed", which makes it sound like he was speeding. Was he speeding, or was the speed limit on that road high? I hate the way the media words things.

The news was right about the high rate of speed... The reports I heard said his speed was in excess of 100mph!

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wrillo Grand Master

wrillo

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The best thing you can do is continue your rides and talk about them to him. If just your talking about riding is enough to make your friend miss it, then he'll get back on in his own time. Plus you've done your part to get him back into it

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