Casper Posted April 24, 2009 Report Share Posted April 24, 2009 Stole this from another site:How the fight started ............My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionairewhile we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to havesex?" "No," she answered.I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't evenlook at me this time, simply saying "Yes."So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."And that's when the fight started....__________________________________________________ _______I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for ouranniversary?"It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweetappreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"And that's when the fight started....__________________________________________________ _______Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made mylunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded toback out into a torrential downpour.The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into thegarage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would bebad all day.I went back into the house, quietly undressed, andslipped back into bed.I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a differentanticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe mystupid husband is out fishing in that?'And then the fight started ...__________________________________________________ ______A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise camefrom outside.The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelledat the man 'Holy Crap. That must be my husband!'So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumpedout the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thornbush and to his car as fast as he could go. A few minutes later hereturned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AMyour husband!'The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'And then the fight started......__________________________________________________ _____I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of MillerLight for $14.95.Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.I told her the beer would make her look better at nightthan the cold cream.And then the fight started....__________________________________________________ _____A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feelhorrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me acompliment.'The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'And then the fight started......__________________________________________________ _______I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for somereason, took my order first."I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""Nah, she can order for herself."And then the fight started....__________________________________________________ ______My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high schoolreunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink asshe sat alone at a nearby table.My wife asked, 'Do you know her?''Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understandshe took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago,and I hear she hasn't been sober since.''My God!' said my wife, 'who would think a person couldgo on celebrating that long?'And then the fight started...__________________________________________________ ____When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I takeher someplace expensive.... so, I took her to a gas station.And then the fight started...__________________________________________________ ____My wife was hinting about what she wanted for ourupcoming anniversary.She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150in about 3 seconds.'I bought her a scale.And then the fight started...__________________________________________________ _____My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I wasflipping channelsShe asked, 'What's on TV?'I said, 'Dust.'And then the fight started... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justin0469 Posted April 24, 2009 Report Share Posted April 24, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fusion Posted April 24, 2009 Report Share Posted April 24, 2009 those are great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wrillo Posted April 24, 2009 Report Share Posted April 24, 2009 i hadn't heard the 0 to 150 one.. that one is good! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dustinsn3485 Posted April 24, 2009 Report Share Posted April 24, 2009 Excellent stuff!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ross Posted April 24, 2009 Report Share Posted April 24, 2009 i like the fishing one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KruelHouse Posted April 24, 2009 Report Share Posted April 24, 2009 Haha... I'm LOLin' over here.Thanks Ben! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosmo Posted April 24, 2009 Report Share Posted April 24, 2009 :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
e-flores Posted April 24, 2009 Report Share Posted April 24, 2009 that's perfect!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbrjess0815 Posted April 24, 2009 Report Share Posted April 24, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EagleCock Posted April 24, 2009 Report Share Posted April 24, 2009 lolz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jon_SV650 Posted April 24, 2009 Report Share Posted April 24, 2009 hahaha, those are awesome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madcat6183 Posted April 24, 2009 Report Share Posted April 24, 2009 Ah that made my day much much better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yotaman88210 Posted April 24, 2009 Report Share Posted April 24, 2009 thats was good stuff! I loled Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speed Posted April 24, 2009 Report Share Posted April 24, 2009 el oh el Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vulcan_Rider Posted April 25, 2009 Report Share Posted April 25, 2009 :lol:the scale one is my favorite:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12oclocker Posted April 25, 2009 Report Share Posted April 25, 2009 funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NinjaNick Posted April 25, 2009 Report Share Posted April 25, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kawi kid Posted April 25, 2009 Report Share Posted April 25, 2009 bwahahah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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