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smokin5s
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Tell them not to, take a firm stance, in the end they're 18 and will do what 18 year olds do. By telling them no, you're still showing that you have rules and an opinion, but by letting them stay there anyway you know what will happen and at least they're safe. It's the ILLUSION of being a stern parent. You can't just give them the ability to do whatever they want...But you have to understand that they're people. I had to sneak around and break rules when I was 18...And I did.
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well yes, my mind is made up, I'm just trying to find out if I'm wrong or not... People are able to change if they are wrong... first step is identifying if I'm wrong or not.

 

"Right" and "Wrong" in this case are totally subjective, Steve. Some of us will think you are wrong, others that you are right.

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well yes, my mind is made up, I'm just trying to find out if I'm wrong or not... People are able to change if they are wrong... first step is identifying if I'm wrong or not.

 

You are partially wrong.... Your wife's opinion is great... but you have the final say as the breadwinner.

 

Facts iz facts...

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I have no illusion of what they are or aren't doing... I just don't want it done under my roof... it's just a respect thing to me.

 

Aaron, asking strangers about their opinion yes will help tell me if I'm wrong or not. If I am then I can control myself enough to make changes to fix it.

 

Just because I think I'm right, but the masses say I'm wrong, that doesn't mean that I'm right... again doesn't mean that I'm wrong either, but it does give me something to think about... make sense?

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You are partially wrong.... Your wife's opinion is great... but you have the final say as the breadwinner.

 

Facts iz facts...

wrong answer dude... the fact that I pay for the house doesn't make my say any more than my wife's... believe me, I hear it enough how I act like it does but it doesn't... her opinion is just as important as mine is. She takes care of my daughter while I'm at work...

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"Right" and "Wrong" in this case are totally subjective, Steve. Some of us will think you are wrong, others that you are right.

masses.... so far it looks like the majority thinks that I'm wrong... which would tend me to think that I am wrong.... I'm looking at this as you guys are my jury... minus the comments about seeing them.. like I said... you guys don't want that.

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wrong answer dude... the fact that I pay for the house doesn't make my say any more than my wife's... believe me, I hear it enough how I act like it does but it doesn't... her opinion is just as important as mine is. She takes care of my daughter while I'm at work...

 

Do you drive a prius? Do you vote democrat?

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But, with all due respect...

 

A. you came to CR to ask parenting advice regarding your 18 year old lesbian daughter... what kind of answers where you expecting?

 

B. you already have your mind made up. but you say you want to respect your wife's opinion... but I bet you end up laying down the law just like you wanted to all along. just a guess... call it a "hunch" :)

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I am independant, Athiest, I drive a new SHO or a Z71 Avalanche depending on the weather... I just don't think my wife is beneath me and her and I are supposed to be a team regardless of what she says or thinks.
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But, with all do respect...

 

A. you came to CR to ask parenting advice regarding your 18 year old lesbian daughter... what kind of answers where you expecting?

 

B. you already have your mind made up. but you say you want to respect your wife's opinion... but I bet you end up laying down the law just like you wanted to all along. just a guess... call it a "hunch" :)

Actually I'm leaning the exact oposite way... If I'm wrong I'm wrong

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I like to think I was raised as a progressive old school kid. My dad was raised in a very Catholic house (Portuguese) and my mom was a flower child sibling, so she kinda resisted the hippie movement. Their steadfast rule was I wasn't allowed to have girls over unsupervised (not that it stopped me) until I was 18, I wasn't allowed to have them stay the night til I was 21, and we werent allowed to stay in the same room until I was 25 or engaged.

 

I just dated girls whose parents were more lenient than mine so it was never an issue :dumb:. The few times it was close to being an issue it was a "my house my rules, get a hotel room if you wanna" type thing so i got a hotel room.

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Yikes, let me know how that crawling skin feels in a month....

so far it feels like I took a big dump on my plate and then shoveled it back into my mouth with just thinking about allowing it to happen.... but it looks like I"m wrong... to be honest the only person in 2 pages of posts that says that I'm right is you, and you believe that my wife is beneath me because I pay the bills... Sorry dude, but not exactly the person to tell me that I'm right when everyone else is saying I'm not... we'll see what other posts come over night... but if I'm wrong I'm wrong... I will just be up their ass the entire time if I allow it and I'll make sure that they go to bed when I do and set an alarm on one of the doors ;)

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Not following the rules, not staying in the house. Express to your wife that it makes you uncomfortable (or whatever). Have them go pay for a nice hotel at morse/161.

her grand mother said that they could stay with her.... them having a place to stay isn't the issue... it's if they should be staying at our house or not that is more the issue or not. I was raised in a strict Italian house hold, my wife was allowed to do anything she wanted from the time she could walk. It's a different mentality and I'm looking for outsiders to give me their opinion. I will have to say I'm very surprised at the responses I've gotten... I guess my question should also be, the people who have answered, how old are they and how old are their kids if they have any.

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so far it feels like I took a big dump on my plate and then shoveled it back into my mouth with just thinking about allowing it to happen.... but it looks like I"m wrong... to be honest the only person in 2 pages of posts that says that I'm right is you, and you believe that my wife is beneath me because I pay the bills... Sorry dude, but not exactly the person to tell me that I'm right when everyone else is saying I'm not... we'll see what other posts come over night... but if I'm wrong I'm wrong... I will just be up their ass the entire time if I allow it and I'll make sure that they go to bed when I do and set an alarm on one of the doors ;)

 

Right, you are right to feel the way you do. I am on your side.

 

And, just like any company... the Boss must always consider the thoughts and ideas of his people... But, at the end of the day, the boss has to make the decision. and the Boss... might make a decision that is more in line with his beliefs.... though the decision may not be popular.

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I am independant, Athiest, I drive a new SHO or a Z71 Avalanche depending on the weather... I just don't think my wife is beneath me and her and I are supposed to be a team regardless of what she says or thinks.

 

There's your answer. You just need to get with her and work out a compromise. Maybe include your daughter too and treat her like an adult and see if she can handle it.

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