Mojoe Posted December 31, 2015 Report Share Posted December 31, 2015 (edited) Sometimes life is too much. A collection of bad decisions and circumstances. You feel like you are doing all you can, but nothing seems to come together. You search for that closeness, that bond of friendship and family, even if your brought up around tough times. You try to fit in and make new friends, to create that bond, but it's not there. You feel like you try and try. You don't see the people around you that do care. You over look their guidance and love, and they see it as you pushing them away, yet you struggle more and more. All the signs are there, substance abuse, rehab, divorce, more substance abuse, rehab and then even more abuse. Seeing the ex wife get engaged on Christmas was likely too much to bare. The build up of your feeling let down, embarrassment, and the feeling of failure have overwhelmed you. Last night, my best friend from High School passed away at 40 years old. I wrote the above, because I feel his situation is not unique. It is preventable. But, I also understand there is only so much you can do. My hope is, you folks read this and have the ability to help someone you know who is struggling with life's hurdles. Last I saw him, he was at his house, passed out in the middle of the day from pills. I woke him up to make plans to hang out the next day, but told him he needed to text me in the morning to let me know he was ready, and I would pick him up. He never did. And from there never replied to my calls or text. That was August of 2012, and then for months after I never heard from him. He had tried to hurt himself before, when we were in high school. We hear about how the holidays are tough times for people, but maybe we never hear about someone hurting themselves that we know. Before today, I had never known of any instance of this happening. I had always been told in our military briefings that this time of year was high for suicides. There is a lot of living to do out there folks. Other people can't be the fix for your problems, but many are willing to help if the person is helping themselves. If you are struggling with things, reach out to someone. Edited December 31, 2015 by Mojoe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sol740 Posted December 31, 2015 Report Share Posted December 31, 2015 I'm sorry to read this Joe, may he RIP. My cousin recently took his own life so I know how much this situation sucks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigbird Posted December 31, 2015 Report Share Posted December 31, 2015 Sorry to hear this. I know the feeling all too well. I agree, always try to help, always reach out. Even if you're not super close with a person, you never know the difference you can make. I had no idea my childhood best friend was in such a bad way. I tried to reach out when I had the opportunity, but if I had known it was so bad, I would have tried harder. That'll always eat away at me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grudes Posted December 31, 2015 Report Share Posted December 31, 2015 Im sorry to hear that Joe. I can defintley relate to what he was going through. I suffer from anxiety and depression and it has led me down some scary paths. I was always able to put up a happy front while on the inside I was coming apart. The hardest part was going to a therapist and getting help. I always told myself "you dont need help just bury your feeling, only crazy people need to see a therapist" Things are still a struggle but they are gettig better. Im meeting new friends and I feel that my life is slowly improving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mojoe Posted December 31, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 31, 2015 I appreciate the posts guys. Ryan, I moved away and the 750 miles made it difficult to keep in touch when there wasn't shared effort. I know I tried numerous times to re-engage our friendship. I feel terrible for this happening. But realistically, without me actually being there, I don't know what happened. Doug, I can't say how hard it is to do what you have. I haven't been through it, but I helped one of our guys with getting in to see someone this year. I has made all the difference. As guys, we think we don't need to seek help. But there's nothing wrong with it and it makes a huge difference. Glad to hear things are going well for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cordell Posted December 31, 2015 Report Share Posted December 31, 2015 Sucks to hear and all too true for many people. I wouldn't be here today if not for the love and support of my wife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diamonds Posted December 31, 2015 Report Share Posted December 31, 2015 I have lost someone in a similar situation. You are going to feel many different ways about it over the next couple of years. But mainly emptiness. My condolences Joe. That fucking sucks... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orion Posted December 31, 2015 Report Share Posted December 31, 2015 My condolences, brother. Everyone is broken, right? The only thing that keeps some of us together is our friends/family/others, squeezing us tight, not letting us fall to pieces. I'll be thinking of you, dude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Green Bastard Posted December 31, 2015 Report Share Posted December 31, 2015 I'm sorry to hear about this, Joe. My brother in law's best friend from high school just attempted to hang himself 2 days ago. Luckily someone found him quick enough and he is doing well (walking, talking, but no memory of the incident or the hours leading up to it). I am thankful he will be able to get the help he needs. This honestly took me by surprise, he never seemed like the type to be depressed enough to attempt it. But they say some of the biggest clowns are actually the saddest people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exodus Posted December 31, 2015 Report Share Posted December 31, 2015 I'm so sorry brother. I had three friends who either died of an overdose or committed suicide while on some sort of drug. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
everlight44 Posted January 1, 2016 Report Share Posted January 1, 2016 Sorry to hear that Joe. Drugs and mental illness are a very difficult situation to get people out of Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SHIEF Posted January 1, 2016 Report Share Posted January 1, 2016 You have to tell yourself there is nothing you could have done. Which is true. You dont't matter at that point. Had a friend of a friend (who I've hung out with) do the same this past year with a similar scenario. With a successful business in hand and a kid. It was a selfish decision made by him who didn't care who he hurt. That's easy to move on from. I say that as a kid I grew up with shot himself over a simple gf breakup. It easy to move on from when all 3 of your best friends are now dead based on things that were out of their control. 1 murdered from playing gospel music too loud, 1 from a drunk driver while he was on a motorcycle on brice rd., and 1 from a complication in a hospital. So yeah, for someone like me......it's selfish and easy to move on from. I think about those guys all the time and what we would be doing/saying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tractor Posted January 3, 2016 Report Share Posted January 3, 2016 Sorry to hear this. I know the feeling all too well. I agree, always try to help, always reach out. Even if you're not super close with a person, you never know the difference you can make. I had no idea my childhood best friend was in such a bad way. I tried to reach out when I had the opportunity, but if I had known it was so bad, I would have tried harder. That'll always eat away at me. Thats one of the huge issues with dealing with people who suffer from mental illness or even physical problems that can easily create depression situations. Even for someone very close, to the person. Its not your direct problem so you don't easily know when you need to help even if its just listening and being there for them. As a friend at a distance its even harder because when you leave them, their problems seem to go away in your own mind. So many times you here, "they seems find last time I saw them". My wife lost her mother to depression just after we got married so I understand a lot and have had 15yrs to think about it and I do most days. You always think, what you could have done, but you have to remember it is a disease and ok people can't end their life and the truth is they plan it out for a long time in many cases. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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