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Divorce with children


Lauren

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  • 4 weeks later...
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I hear you. I would agree with you, in that if the parents don't step up their game after the divorce, the kids are in a difficult spot. I couldn't focus on my kids prior to being divorced because I couldn't get over my ex's indiscretions, amongst other things. I was also a little too focused on career/etc, and neglected the kids (because she was the stay at home mom) as well as neglected my personal health. my ex was focused on money and possessions.

 

I had to make major changes after the divorce.

 

in terms of repercussions for her, she literally lost all of her friends. most of them came up to me after the divorce and apologized for initially siding with her---she told them the divorce was because I was abusive and treated her as an object, etc. once they found out exactly what I put up with, they disowned her. she has a few acquaintances, and her bf has some buddies, but that's about it. her parents supported her, because that's what parents do. I don't think they agreed with what she did, and I know her mom realizes her daughter is a hot mess. she still sends me cards for birthdays, Christmas, fathers day, etc. and I'm still very friendly with her when she visits. her dad is a douchebag.

 

 

my family basically hates her, and admitted to me later that they never really liked her. at the low point of my divorce, 3 months in, I went home to ohio from Wisconsin for easter. many of my family members just found out I was getting a divorce. at easter dinner, my dad stood up and gave a 5 minute speech (I won't go into the details, but it was awesome). I was totally distraught, but all 25 people at the dinner table stood up and told me I had their full support, and they had never really liked her. basically a standing ovation. it was a lifechanging moment for me. not that it was to be celebrated, but it was important to have all my family members in one spot have my back.

 

but I would agree with you that infidelity, is about the only deal-breaker for me.

Kirk, thanks you for sharing. Maybe I missed it, but how old were your kids when the divorce began?

 

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pretty sure my girls were 5 and my boy was 4

Any insight to how they handled it, and how you helped them through? Amy long term affects, bumps in the road, etc.

 

Thanks

 

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