Fonzie Posted June 5, 2009 Report Share Posted June 5, 2009 Enjoy! My son came home from school one day,With a smirk upon his face.He decided he was smart enough,To put me in my place. 'Guess what I learned in Civics Two,that's taught by Mr. Wright?It's all about the laws today, The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'It says I need not clean my room,Don't have to cut my hair No one can tell me what to think,Or speak, or what to wear.I have freedom from religion,And regardless what you say, I don't have to bow my head,And I sure don't have to pray.I can wear earrings if I want, And pierce my tongue & nose.I can read & watch just what I like,Get tattoos from head to toe.And if you ever spank me,I'll charge you with a crime.I'll back up all my charges,With the marks on my behind.Don't you ever touch me,My body's only for my use,Not for your hugs and kisses, that's just more child abuse.Don't preach about your morals,Like your Mum did to you. That's nothing more than mind control,And it's illegal too!Mum, I have these children's rights,So you can't influence me, Or I'll call Children's Services Division,Better known As 'C.S.D.'Mum's Reply and Thoughts Of course my first instinct wasTo toss him out the door.But the chance to teach him a lessonMade me think a little more.I mulled it over carefully,I couldn't let this go.A smile crept upon my face, he's messing with a pro.Next day I took him shoppingAt the local Goodwill Store..I told him, 'Pick out all you want,there's shirts & pants galore.I've called and checked with C.S.D .Who said they didn't careIf I bought you K-Mart shoesInstead of Nike Airs.I've cancelled that appointmentTo take your driver's test.The C.S.D. Is unconcernedSo I'll decide what's best.' I said 'No time to stop and eat,Or pick up stuff to munch...And tomorrow you can start to learnTo make your own lousy lunch.Just save the raging appetite,And wait till dinner time.We're having liver and onions, A favorite dish of mine.'He asked 'Can I please rent a movie,To watch on my VCR?''Sorry, but I sold your TV,For new tires on my car.I also rented out your room, You'll take the couch instead. The C.S.D. Requires Just a roof over your head. Your clothing won't be trendy now,I'll choose what we eat.That allowance that you used to get,Will buy me something neat.I'm selling off your jet ski, Dirt-bike & roller blades. Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights', It's in effect today!Hey hot shot, are you crying,Why are you on your knees?Are you asking God to help you out, Instead of C.S.D..?'Send to all people that have teenagers or have already raised teenagers, Or have children who will soon be teenagers or those who will be parents somedayOR ANYONE WHO'D JUST GET A LAUGH. I love this One!!! From a MOM (Mean Old Mother.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zerocrash Posted June 5, 2009 Report Share Posted June 5, 2009 That's awesome Russ!! As you know I have a teenager as well, so I'm gonna keep this handy!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SAMBUSA Posted June 5, 2009 Report Share Posted June 5, 2009 Just think, both of you could be grandparents real soon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmoosego Posted June 5, 2009 Report Share Posted June 5, 2009 makes me glad I waited to have kids.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zerocrash Posted June 5, 2009 Report Share Posted June 5, 2009 Just think, both of you could be grandparents real soon Ok that's just not EVEN the least bit funny! Especially considering I have a beautiful 14 yr old daughter and I know what I was doing at her age.. awww hell... fuck my life Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zerocrash Posted June 5, 2009 Report Share Posted June 5, 2009 makes me glad I waited to have kids....Keep waiting..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krzwhtman Posted June 5, 2009 Report Share Posted June 5, 2009 (edited) i have a 10 year old daughter. better start doing crazy shit around the yard now , so the word spreads throughout the neighborhood kids. Edited June 5, 2009 by krzwhtman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zerocrash Posted June 5, 2009 Report Share Posted June 5, 2009 i have a 10 year old daughter. better start doing crazy shit around the yard now , so it spreads throughout the neighborhood kids.:lol: Yep.. crazier the better!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Green Valley Posted June 5, 2009 Report Share Posted June 5, 2009 I like the message it sends. I must be very fortunate. I have two teenage daughters and they are great young ladies! The stuff they do that does bug me is all insignificant as compared to some of the hellions I see out there. I won't make them out to be saints because they have tried to test their independance against my wife and I. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zerocrash Posted June 5, 2009 Report Share Posted June 5, 2009 I like the message it sends.I must be very fortunate. I have two teenage daughters and they are great young ladies! The stuff they do that does bug me is all insignificant as compared to some of the hellions I see out there. I won't make them out to be saints because they have tried to test their independance against my wife and I.I feel the same. My daughter is no saint either, but she could be a hell of a lot worse!!! (like me at her age..) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SAMBUSA Posted June 5, 2009 Report Share Posted June 5, 2009 I feel the same. My daughter is no saint either, but she could be a hell of a lot worse!!! (like me at her age..)"no saint" ..................that's the things that you know about. Just think of all the things you used to hide from your parents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fonzie Posted June 5, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 5, 2009 (edited) i have a 10 year old daughter. better start doing crazy shit around the yard now , so the word spreads throughout the neighborhood kids.That's funny......For my daughter's dates, I've always said me and a buddy are gonna do that scene from Bad Boys where Will & Martin are actin' like they just got out of prison to the daughter's date who just came to pick her up Fortunately for me......Sissy's got 2 older brothers who'd be more than willing to help dad put the fear of God into whoever she's going out with! Plus.....She tells me all the time that all the boys in her class are already afraid of me.....And she thinks that's supposed to be a bad thing to me!! Edited June 5, 2009 by Fonzie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fonzie Posted June 5, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 5, 2009 Just think, both of you could be grandparents real soon This comin' from the guy who lives in Waynetucky?!? True story though......One of the girls in my daughter's class just became an aunt a week or two ago. Her sister is about 16 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara_Rides Posted June 5, 2009 Report Share Posted June 5, 2009 "no saint" ..................that's the things that you know about. Just think of all the things you used to hide from your parents.That is a good point, except I feel that I must point out that the relationship he has with his daughter is unlike any teenagers relationship with their parents I have ever seen, she trust him with more information about her personal life then most kids would....she might not be a saint, but she is the most amazing and mature 14 year old girl I've ever had the pleasure of meeting, and because zero is such an amazing father his daughter trusts him and respects him, so I definately think he's more fortunate than a lot of others parents might be with their teenagers....plus she has an (almost) step-mom (me) who is just way cool, and anything she doesn't want to tell dad becasuse he's a boy she'll tell me.....we are truly blessed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4DAIVI PAI2K5 Posted June 6, 2009 Report Share Posted June 6, 2009 i have a 10 year old daughter. better start doing crazy shit around the yard now , so the word spreads throughout the neighborhood kids.this is gonna sound gay... but my girl friend woke up befor eme today and had that rachell ray cooking show on, and timmy mcgraw was on there and she asked him about his girls and abou t how the one is just about to be at the age for dating. and his plan was to find the nicest kid in his daughters class or age group and smack the shit outta him, that way the kids think "man he smacked the nice kid, WTF is he gonna do to me!"thought it was a good one...gay jokes about me watching that show can start in 5,4,3,2,1.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SAMBUSA Posted June 6, 2009 Report Share Posted June 6, 2009 This comin' from the guy who lives in Waynetucky?!? Cant get sheep pregnant:p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fonzie Posted June 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 6, 2009 Cant get sheep pregnant:pYou know how I know you're ghey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SAMBUSA Posted June 6, 2009 Report Share Posted June 6, 2009 It isn't ghey, it's beastiality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zerocrash Posted June 6, 2009 Report Share Posted June 6, 2009 this is gonna sound gay... but my girl friend woke up befor eme today and had that rachell ray cooking show on, and timmy mcgraw was on there and she asked him about his girls and abou t how the one is just about to be at the age for dating. and his plan was to find the nicest kid in his daughters class or age group and smack the shit outta him, that way the kids think "man he smacked the nice kid, WTF is he gonna do to me!"thought it was a good one...gay jokes about me watching that show can start in 5,4,3,2,1....I love it!! That's an awesome idea! So what did they have on "The View" that day?? :ky: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fonzie Posted June 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 6, 2009 It isn't ghey, it's beastiality.It's ghey bestiality if it's the boy sheep you keep tryin' to knock up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zerocrash Posted June 6, 2009 Report Share Posted June 6, 2009 It's ghey bestiality if it's the boy sheep you keep tryin' to knock up He was only trying to help him over fence.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4DAIVI PAI2K5 Posted June 6, 2009 Report Share Posted June 6, 2009 I love it!! That's an awesome idea! So what did they have on "The View" that day?? :ky: thats the best u got??? haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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