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For those of us with teenagers


Fonzie

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Enjoy! :D

My son came home from school one day,

With a smirk upon his face.

He decided he was smart enough,

To put me in my place.

'Guess what I learned in Civics Two,

that's taught by Mr. Wright?

It's all about the laws today,

The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'

It says I need not clean my room,

Don't have to cut my hair

No one can tell me what to think,

Or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion,

And regardless what you say,

I don't have to bow my head,

And I sure don't have to pray.

I can wear earrings if I want,

And pierce my tongue & nose.

I can read & watch just what I like,

Get tattoos from head to toe.

And if you ever spank me,

I'll charge you with a crime.

I'll back up all my charges,

With the marks on my behind.

Don't you ever touch me,

My body's only for my use,

Not for your hugs and kisses,

that's just more child abuse.

Don't preach about your morals,

Like your Mum did to you.

That's nothing more than mind control,

And it's illegal too!

Mum, I have these children's rights,

So you can't influence me,

Or I'll call Children's Services Division,

Better known

As 'C.S.D.'

Mum's Reply and Thoughts

Of course my first instinct was

To toss him out the door.

But the chance to teach him a lesson

Made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully,

I couldn't let this go.

A smile crept upon my face,

he's messing with a pro.

Next day I took him shopping

At the local Goodwill Store..

I told him, 'Pick out all you want,

there's shirts & pants galore.

I've called and checked with C.S.D .

Who said they didn't care

If I bought you K-Mart shoes

Instead of Nike Airs.

I've cancelled that appointment

To take your driver's test.

The C.S.D. Is unconcerned

So I'll decide what's best.'

I said 'No time to stop and eat,

Or pick up stuff to munch...

And tomorrow you can start to learn

To make your own lousy lunch.

Just save the raging appetite,

And wait till dinner time.

We're having liver and onions,

A favorite dish of mine.'

He asked 'Can I please rent a movie,

To watch on my VCR?'

'Sorry, but I sold your TV,

For new tires on my car.

I also rented out your room,

You'll take the couch instead.

The C.S.D. Requires

Just a roof over your head.

Your clothing won't be trendy now,

I'll choose what we eat.

That allowance that you used to get,

Will buy me something neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski,

Dirt-bike & roller blades.

Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',

It's in effect today!

Hey hot shot, are you crying,

Why are you on your knees?

Are you asking God to help you out,

Instead of C.S.D..?'

Send to all people that have teenagers or have already raised teenagers,

Or have children who will soon be teenagers or those who will be parents someday

OR ANYONE WHO'D JUST GET A LAUGH. I love this One!!!

From a MOM

(Mean Old Mother.)

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Just think, both of you could be grandparents real soon :lol:

Ok that's just not EVEN the least bit funny! :mad: Especially considering I have a beautiful 14 yr old daughter and I know what I was doing at her age.. awww hell... fuck my life

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I like the message it sends.

I must be very fortunate. I have two teenage daughters and they are great young ladies!

The stuff they do that does bug me is all insignificant as compared to some of the hellions I see out there. I won't make them out to be saints because they have tried to test their independance against my wife and I.

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I like the message it sends.

I must be very fortunate. I have two teenage daughters and they are great young ladies!

The stuff they do that does bug me is all insignificant as compared to some of the hellions I see out there. I won't make them out to be saints because they have tried to test their independance against my wife and I.

I feel the same. My daughter is no saint either, but she could be a hell of a lot worse!!! (like me at her age..:eek:)

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I feel the same. My daughter is no saint either, but she could be a hell of a lot worse!!! (like me at her age..:eek:)

"no saint" ..................that's the things that you know about. Just think of all the things you used to hide from your parents.:D

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i have a 10 year old daughter. better start doing crazy shit around the yard now , so the word spreads throughout the neighborhood kids.

That's funny......For my daughter's dates, I've always said me and a buddy are gonna do that scene from Bad Boys where Will & Martin are actin' like they just got out of prison to the daughter's date who just came to pick her up icon_twisted.gif

Fortunately for me......Sissy's got 2 older brothers who'd be more than willing to help dad put the fear of God into whoever she's going out with! beatup.gif

Plus.....She tells me all the time that all the boys in her class are already afraid of me.....And she thinks that's supposed to be a bad thing to me!! roflmao.gif

Edited by Fonzie
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Just think, both of you could be grandparents real soon :lol:

This comin' from the guy who lives in Waynetucky?!? ;)

True story though......One of the girls in my daughter's class just became an aunt a week or two ago. Her sister is about 16 :eek:

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"no saint" ..................that's the things that you know about. Just think of all the things you used to hide from your parents.:D

That is a good point, except I feel that I must point out that the relationship he has with his daughter is unlike any teenagers relationship with their parents I have ever seen, she trust him with more information about her personal life then most kids would....she might not be a saint, but she is the most amazing and mature 14 year old girl I've ever had the pleasure of meeting, and because zero is such an amazing father his daughter trusts him and respects him, so I definately think he's more fortunate than a lot of others parents might be with their teenagers....plus she has an (almost) step-mom (me) who is just way cool, and anything she doesn't want to tell dad becasuse he's a boy she'll tell me.....we are truly blessed

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i have a 10 year old daughter. better start doing crazy shit around the yard now , so the word spreads throughout the neighborhood kids.

this is gonna sound gay... but my girl friend woke up befor eme today and had that rachell ray cooking show on, and timmy mcgraw was on there and she asked him about his girls and abou t how the one is just about to be at the age for dating. and his plan was to find the nicest kid in his daughters class or age group and smack the shit outta him, that way the kids think "man he smacked the nice kid, WTF is he gonna do to me!"

thought it was a good one...

gay jokes about me watching that show can start in 5,4,3,2,1....

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this is gonna sound gay... but my girl friend woke up befor eme today and had that rachell ray cooking show on, and timmy mcgraw was on there and she asked him about his girls and abou t how the one is just about to be at the age for dating. and his plan was to find the nicest kid in his daughters class or age group and smack the shit outta him, that way the kids think "man he smacked the nice kid, WTF is he gonna do to me!"

thought it was a good one...

gay jokes about me watching that show can start in 5,4,3,2,1....

I love it!! That's an awesome idea!

So what did they have on "The View" that day?? :D:ky:

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