Who wants to be an illegal alien?

[Casper]

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance.

I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien

stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for

which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is

accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income

taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one

and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine.

Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and

my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive

preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my

driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.

Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent, (hoping to reach 'illegal alien' status rather than just a bonafide citizen of the USA )

First and Last Name__________________

City_________________

State________________

[unc7237]

Nice!

[Raincheck]

Win

[CattaniAFJ]

Fucking epic.

[Hoblick]

lol

[tyler524]

Haha that's great

[Disclaimer]

This seemed fitting to post in this thread... just FYI

Is illegal immigration a problem in Ohio? Numbers say no

http://www.mansfieldnewsjournal.com/article/20100830/NEWS01/8290301/1002/Data--Illegal-immigration-not-an-Ohio-issue

The Pew Hispanic Center, a nonpartisan research organization, estimated in 2008 that Ohio had 95,000 illegal immigrants inside its borders, 41st out of the 50 states and a minuscule portion of its population compared not only to the Southwest but also to other highly populated states.

The Federation for American Immigration Reform, a group that wants to limit both legal and illegal immigration, put the number of unauthorized immigrants in Ohio at 80,000, or 0.7 percent of the state's 11.5 million residents.

[Disclaimer]

No point... just FYI.

[RC51 John]

"Who wants to be an illegal alien?"

Is that a new reality show?

[chevysoldier]

Lmao!

[psyco1]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9byfevggn0

[kawi kid]

[goal12]

Ok, I'll bite.

When you really think about it, would any of those things be worth the stress and anxiety you feel day to day for those years (5 minimum). Your "employer" could just call the INS and you lose everything. You have some one rob you, but you can't call the police and don't have a legal way of defending yourself (self defense doesn't apply here cause duh, not a citizen). You go to that emergency room and find out that you are at risk of being deported. You get into a car accident which isn't your fault and get all of the blame. You get paid a fraction of legal workers and have no protection against injury.

I find it funny that people want to switch the other way and pay the exorbitant taxes, insurance premiums, or other costs just to live like a human being. ROFL all you want, but would you die just to have the chance to be an American? If not, then you take things too granted. Live in squalor and filth and poverty, then see if you can say that you want to be an illegal alien.

Do we no longer feel this way?http://www.libertystatepark.com/emma.htm

[Vulcan_Rider]

Ok, I'll bite.

When you really think about it, would any of those things be worth the stress and anxiety you feel day to day for those years (5 minimum). Your "employer" could just call the INS and you lose everything. You have some one rob you, but you can't call the police and don't have a legal way of defending yourself (self defense doesn't apply here cause duh, not a citizen). You go to that emergency room and find out that you are at risk of being deported. You get into a car accident which isn't your fault and get all of the blame. You get paid a fraction of legal workers and have no protection against injury.

I find it funny that people want to switch the other way and pay the exorbitant taxes, insurance premiums, or other costs just to live like a human being. ROFL all you want, but would you die just to have the chance to be an American? If not, then you take things too granted. Live in squalor and filth and poverty, then see if you can say that you want to be an illegal alien.

Do we no longer feel this way?http://www.libertystatepark.com/emma.htm

Here's an idea for those poor people that want to come to America without dealing with the "hardships" of being an illegal alien...come here legally.

[goal12]

Ok, good point. 3 responses.

1. They don't care about the hardships, they are fine with paying a price for the chance to be an American. Most refugees/immigrants are willing to do everything for that chance of having freedom not offered anywhere else. Hell, people from Cuba have drowned trying to get here, and apparently that's not that high of a price to deter them from trying.

2. The legal way of getting into the country has given people so little hope that they resort to sneaking in. It's pretty hard to get a Green Card if you aren't a genius or a valuable addition to the workforce.

3. My response was aimed at not illegals, but those who believe that they have it so easy that you would want to switch with them.

[Vulcan_Rider]

Ok, good point. 3 responses.

1. They don't care about the hardships, they are fine with paying a price for the chance to be an American. Most refugees/immigrants are willing to do everything for that chance of having freedom not offered anywhere else. Hell, people from Cuba have drowned trying to get here, and apparently that's not that high of a price to deter them from trying.

The only reason they are so willing is because they know that even if they never become a legal citizen they still have it made here.

2. The legal way of getting into the country has given people so little hope that they resort to sneaking in. It's pretty hard to get a Green Card if you aren't a genius or a valuable addition to the workforce.

As it should be.

3. My response was aimed at not illegals, but those who believe that they have it so easy that you would want to switch with them.

I wouldn't say I would want to switch, but they have it a hell of a lot easier than they should.

[goal12]

I am not arguing against the current Green Card standards, but against the first post. With my limited understanding, I took it that the person responsible for drafting the letter was implying that he would rather be an illegal alien than a citizen. My point was that no one in their right mind would really want to switch places.

[dorifto240]

I am not arguing against the current Green Card standards, but against the first post. With my limited understanding, I took it that the person responsible for drafting the letter was implying that he would rather be an illegal alien than a citizen. My point was that no one in their right mind would really want to switch places.

No debt, relatively lax standards of INS enforcement (plus if the company calls on you, you just say "they hired me"), salary paid in cash tax free. Simple, if not easy work. And again preferential treatment for your children and basically free healthcare. And plenty of bleeding heart liberals defending my rights to be here illegally everyday?

What's the benefits of being a citizen again?

And if/when it all gets bad, I just go back to my country with a sock full of American cash and live well off for the rest of my life.

On a serious note:

Who else wants to send that letter in?

Edited September 15, 2010 by dorifto240