The Bill of No Rights

[ReconRat]

We, the sensible of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden delusional, and other liberal, commie, pinko bedwetters.

We hold these truths to be self evident, that a whole lot of people were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.

Article I

You do

not

have the right to a new car, big-screen color TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can

legally

acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

Article II

You do

not

have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.,

but

the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

Article III

You do

not

have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do

not

expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all of your relatives independently wealthy.

Article IV

You do

not

have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help

anyone

in need,

but

we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

Article V

You do

not

have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.

Article VI

You do

not

have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and kill

you

.

Article VII

You do

not

have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you

still

won't have the right to a big-screen color TV or a life of leisure.

Article VIII

You do

not

have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate opppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.

Article IX

You do

not

have the right to a job.

All

of us sure want you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times,

but

we expect

you

to take advantage of the opportunities in education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

Article X

You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to

pursue

happiness -- which, by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those around you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

Copyright © Lewis W. Napper. All Rights Reserved.

http://www.seedship.com/pi/norights.html

[jhaag]

why do you hate people, recon?

[ReconRat]

why do you hate people, recon?

not meeee, I love, like, or are totally amused by anyone I meet.

It's just impossible to tell which and if.

[serpentracer]

Article XI,

no more religion will influence politics because all religion is now banned.

all problems solved...

[jhaag]

not meeee, I love, like, or are totally amused by anyone I meet.

It's just impossible to tell which and if.

lol

well, you're a bigger man than me. i just go ahead and be nice to people to their faces while quietly loathing them until i find a reason to reverse myself.

[Jst2fst]

I like Article II people get offended no a days too quick. What ever happened to telling some one to f-off and continue with your day without having a harassment charge or being fired.