Oh this computer sucks ass. sorry, i am 800 miles away using a crappy wireless signal thingy. i struggle with the same issues, although seeing as though i may never be able to work again, has made our struggles even more similar. i havent worked in 6 months and feel worthless. its easy to get down on yourself so its my opinion thatif this is the life you choose to live(seeing as though there is always the alternative), then live it how you want. do what makes you happy.