(to a known hooker)
Me: I have a serious question for you...
Mandi: Who is this?
Me: Show it to me and I will tell you!
Mandi: ...
Me: When am I going to tap that ass?
Mandi: Since I don't know who this is, NEVER!
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Me: I have a question for you, Blondie!
Her: umm, Ok
Me: When are you going to let me tap that ass?
Her: Why are you asking every girl in your phone book this?
Me: I didn't... Just you and your friend. Make it happen!
Her: What did you get me for my birthday?
Me: Me!
Her: If you take me to the ocean you can.
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Me: Hey, do you like the Beach Boys?
Her: Yeah, they're great!
Me: Do you like summer?
Her: Of course!
Me: How much do you like sex?
Her: More than you do!
Me: When are you going to let me tap that ass?
Her: Why?
Me: This is an unacceptable response... The question was when, not why!
Her: When can you come over?
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Me: Show me your butthole!
Her: What?
Me: What didn't you understand?
Her: You are strange!
Me: Ok, well just send it to me and I will decide...
Her: Decide what?
Me: When you are going to let me tap that ass!
Her: Oh, you just had to ask. Where does my butthole fit into this?
Me: Very carefully.