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Rustlestiltskin

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Everything posted by Rustlestiltskin

  1. What do you call a dog with no back legs and brass balls. . . . . . . . . . Sparky
  2. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lean Beef
  3. "The Method" - by STEVE COBRA (Corral.net) The first thing that you have to understand is that your lady friend is going to be apprehensive about anal sex. It has been drilled in their heads, from a young age, that anal sex is a painful experience and it is to be avoided at all costs. Alot of potential candidates have been soured to the experience forever, due to the inexperience of a lover who just tried to jam their penis in their partners anus. I learned my method through my many experiences in the country of Turkey. It seems alot of the chicks over there are taught that they must remain a virgin until they are married. They then proceed to only give blow jobs and partake in anal sex so that they can preserve their hymen. They get a taste for anal and begin to love the experience. The anus has more nerve endings than any other part of your body so anal sex can be more pleasurable than straight vaginal sex. This is the reason that the broads in europe will try to pop a finger in your ass while giving you oral. I always start the method in the same manner: while partaking in doggie style sex. While in this position, the anus is clearly exposed to you. Like a painter with a blank canvas, you are ready to create a masterpiece. The most important thing that you need to understand before attempting any anal action is that the anus is a muscle. Like any other muscle in your body, it must be properly "warmed up" before partaking in any activity. It's the same reason we stretch our legs before we run a marathon. To prepare your body for the rigors of the task at hand. So you are giving it to your female friend in the doggie position. You always want to wait until she is really excited before attempting to begin the method. It has been my experience that chicks will pretty much go along with anything when they are at a high level of arousal. At this point, make sure you have some sort of lubricant handy. Vaseline and KY are the best case scenario but in a pinch, I have used saliva or some of my partners love juice. Slowly, and I do mean slowly, take your index finger and place it outside of her anus. Begin to play with the outside of her hole. A few droplets of wetness should occur in the area. Slowly, press your finger in her anus to your first knuckle, and no further. This is where you will need patience. Just leave your finger in there, as still as possible. This is the portion of the method that I like to call "Steeping like a cup of tea." Basically, your finger is going to allow for a natural relaxation of her anus. Once you have noticed her anus slightly loosening, begin to slowly move your finger around in a circular motion. Again, do not go past the first knuckle. At this point, it is safe for you to push your finger in to the next knuckle. Let it steep like tea again for about another minute until you repeat the process of moving it around in small circles. It is right about this point that your partner will start to get mildly excited about you playing with her *******. Don't overplay your hand, my friend. It might be your first reaction to pop your finger out and jam your penis in. This would be a big mistake. Slow and steady wins the race. Slowly place the rest of your finger in her anus. After about a minute, slowly begin to remove your finger from her anus. Whatever you do, and take it from a professional, do not look at your finger. I don't care if she just got out of the shower five minutes before you started doing her, do not look at your finger. Nothing good can come from it, trust me. After you remove your finger, look down at your partners anus. It should close up slightly, but the opening should still not collapse completely on itself. If it stays open somewhat, you know that your are well on your way to her anus being completely relaxed. At this point, you need to make a judgement call. And you must be honest with yourself. This is the part where you must decide if you should begin to loosen her up with a second finger or begin the steeping process with your penis. If you penis isn't dramatically wider in diameter than two fingers, then you can skip this next step. A good rule of thumb is if your penis is over five inches in circumference, repeat the afforementioned steps with two fingers vice one. At this point, you are ready to enter her with your penis. This is the tricky part. A basic rule in life is that the closest way between two points is a straight line. But not in this case. Before you attempt to enter her, drop a nice dab of KY right on her *******. She should have a pretty good idea of what is about to happen. Exit her vagina and place the head of your penis on the top of her *******. Apply slow and steady pressure to the top of your penis. It will slowly begin to enter her and eventually the head will pop into her anus. That is my favorite part, for whatever reason.....when the head of your penis plops in. Moving along, begin the steeping process in one inch increments of your penis until you are completely inside of her. Take a minute to gain your composure and get yourself ready for what is about to happen. There is no turning back for either of you at this point. Slowly begin thrusting. When i say thrusting, I don't mean that you start longstroking her. Begin moving your penis back and forth in the same one inch increments that you used to enter her. Once she is able to take your entire penis going in and out of her anus, you are pretty much free to do as you like. You can bear in and screw her as hard as you desire as you have properly prepared her anus for the rigors of anal sex.
  4. Who in here has tried Salvia and has a bad story to tell??? I've heard horror stories about this stuff.
  5. Bump. Anybody? Its getting winter time. It can be from 05-09 Let me know what you guys have!
  6. Name: Day Walker Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Candy Land Occupation: Starting crotch fires one at a time Vehicles: a fridge and a door stop Posts: 3,309 Rep: Trader Rating: (14)
  7. http://smiliesftw.com/x/inoutugh.gif
  8. near the tip, probably 4 inches flaccid, 3 inches around flaccid, most likely a grower, ballsack has exactly 22 wrinkles, shaves his pubes to about 4mm in length, circumcised, doesn't smell bad how do I report this sicko pervert for walking around naked like that?
  9. I'm sure he gives you some of his supplies huh druggy.
  10. very awesome. Hope her dad gets all of his football glory feels out of the way now bc she won't be much competitive in the future when all the guys are grown. Maybe she'll go into wrestling? I've seen girls compete in that when I wrestled for 8 yrs.
  11. No, bc were not fucking potheads, pothead. "HEY GUISE, if heroin was legalized and no issues with drug testing at work would you use it recreationally???" :dumb: :dumb: :dumb: :dumb: :dumb: :dumb: :dumb: :dumb: :dumb: :dumb: :dumb: Inb4 potheads post in here to comfort eachother and OP.
  12. My presidents black My rent payments due Unemployment lines long The 47% want theirs too
  13. http://i275.photobucket.com/albums/jj288/Dubs740/7F00F17A-D009-43C8-989A-F7F0A257FAF3-10237-00000B619E1FFC94.jpg
  14. Today is the day I face my fears and stop being a petty slave to my emotions & avoidance of short term pain / seeking short term pleasure. Today is the day I become a real man. I decided to take a cold shower. Cold can make pussies of even the bravest man. It didn't hit me until I got to my shower how afraid I was. 30 seconds earlier I was like "hell yeah, come the fuck at me cold water!" to myself. Then I got into my shower and stood there with my hand frozen on the tap. For 5 minutes I felt extreme anxiety about what was about to happen, and stood there trying to psyche myself into it. "You're being a fucking pussy little bitch, pain is weakness leaving the body, just fucking do it already. If you can't handle a little cold water how the hell are you ever going to achieve your dreams?". I was literally shaking slightly in fear, several times I was about to turn the tap then stopped myself. I wouldn't let myself even think of getting out of that shower because I knew I would be a broken man if I did. I could turn that tap and walk the path to realizing my dreams or get out of the shower and fade away into mediocrity. I don't know what it was that finally spurred me to take action. I turned the tap hard and a cascade of ice cold water that had been sitting in the pipes throughout the long night fell upon me. The first 30 seconds were hell. My entire body screamed at me to jump out of the shower but I forced myself to stay put. As my body began to adjust to the cold though I felt an extreme sense of exhilaration. I screamed out "fuaaaaaarrrrrkkkkkk". I had done it, I had forced myself to conquer my fears after a lifetime of avoidance. The feeling was indescribable. I stayed in the shower for several minutes reveling in the sensations before I decided it was time to get out. I had stepped into that shower a boy. I left as a man.
  15. Hey Mattsv8, Can I ask you a question?
  16. Garbage Suzuki cars are Garbage. Stick with motorcycles, ATV's, and Jetski's ya shitbums.
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